Thursday, September 3, 2009

The Deal Breaker: Why Enough is Enough

Ok, to truly understand this post you must understand something. I am completely INSANE. To explain more fully the reason for my insanity - I am a completionist. I HAVE to see things through. And this trait has become the bane of my TV world. I just can not stop watching awful shows. Shows with bad writing, complete jump the shark moments, character assassinations. But I just. Can. Not. Stop. Watching. Please help me! Rehab 101 here I come.

Hi. My name is Scarlett and I am a TV completionist.
Ok, I have acknowledged my problem.
Next step, confronting this problem.
So I have decided to make a list of cut-off points. Moments so OOC, badly written, and WTF that in order to stay healthy I must leave the show. Here goes...


Grey’s Anatomy: When Alex Karev leaves.
Dead Denny Sex. You know what I thought that was it, I did, truly. I was so disgusted, horrified and offended. I honestly felt like writing a letter to Shonda telling her to DIAF. I held off for about two weeks, but then had to watch. Why? I hear you ask. Good question. Because in my heart of hearts, I just have to see Alex Karev get his happy ending. I just could not leave him alone in Seattle Grace Hospital with a crazy girlfriend. Watching his heart break when the truth came out was one of the saddest moments, if not the saddest moment ever on Grey’s *sob*. I can not give up on this show until I know Alex has his fairy-tale ending.

Gossip Girl: When Chuck Bass and Jenny Humphrey become an OTP
Let’s be honest, I originally started watching this show to watch beautiful people swan around New York and imagine myself as them. But, one word changed all that for me – Chair. What? What on earth does a piece of furniture have to do with why you watch? Ah, but you see Chair is the portmanteau of a fascinating, wonderful, tortuous couple made up of one Chuck Bass and one Blair Waldorf. These two characters are possibly the most intricate personalities of any teen TV drama. Their sizzling chemistry and sadomasochistic mating dance has set my shipper heart alight and my viewing eyes fixed. I don’t care what they do, as long as it is Blair and Chuck, Chuck and Blair. They could go to Africa to volunteer with baby elephants, they could become poor, they could have just one second per episode of screentime, I don’t care. But one thing I will not take is for either one of them to be endgame with someone other than themselves. I even don’t mind them not being together and ending up alone. I choose Chuck/Jenny for my most hated endgame couple. They can hook-up, though I don’t really want to see it happen, but I will stop watching if they become an OTP.

Smallville: When Chloe dies.
Please, please, please kill her off, TPTB. Put me out of my misery. This show has gone rapidly downhill from the end of season 5, yet I am stuck watching it because I am way too emotionally invested in a fictional character called Chloe Sullivan. She is Clark’s rock and heart, yet TPTB are so afraid to recognise this we have had 8 seasons of the Clana (Clark and Lana) merry-go-round till I am sick and tired of spinning, much like the sick and tired storylines. The recent Smallville finale sucked so bad, I’m surprised the show didn’t get cancelled right away, and to be truly honest, I wish I could say I would not be turning in to the season 9 premier, I wish I could I swear, but until the fat lady sings and Chloe is declared dead beyond all doubt, God, I’m going to be there. This show has abused, humiliated and exploited me, yet I still cling to the vestiges of hope that things will change. Please, please, please, TPTB, let me and Chloe go!

Heroes: When we find out Claire is the mother of Sylar’s son.
Oh so many improbable storylines have been and gone and will come, but actually I’ve come to realise most of them I could probably live with. I mean we’ve had the Jessica/Nikki/Tracey fiasco; the deaths and fake-out deaths of nearly every character; the bizarre world of ancient Japan; weird incestual vibe between Claire and the entire Petrelli family; and the Claire/Peter/Sylar show; but when we find out that Claire is the mother of Sylar’s son Noah, POOF, that’s the sound of me flying like Nathan Petrelli and getting the fuck out.

Supernatural: Sam and Dean become involved in a love triangle.
I watch this show for the relationship between the Winchester brothers. I like the fact there is no ‘Chick Flick’ TV. It’s not that I’m averse to a ship per se, it’s that I don’t want to see the brothers fight over a girl to the detriment to their relationship. They’re just too perfect and special to have something so trivial come between them. I do not want to see Supernatural 90210.

So, there we go. You’ll know if I break these. Help me stay strong if hell breaks loose and these storylines ever happen.
It has made me feel rather pathetic acknowledging the depths of TV viewing I am willing to sink to just so I can complete a series so here is one example where I’ve managed to stick to what I said. Round of applause, please. *Blushes, blushes. Accepts statuette.*

Buffy The Vampire Slayer: When Angel left.
I’m sticking to this one, I swear. No matter how much my friend bugs me to watch the whole thing, no matter how much I want to see how it ends, no matter how much I want to see the hotness that is James Marsters aka Spike and Sarah Michelle Gellar get it on. That is it. I’m sticking to it.

And then there are times when one just has to realise, no matter how well you do, once an addict always an addict, and just give in.

One Tree Hill: Never
Stop laughing in the back, yes you! I don’t have to explain how ridiculous the show has become and judging from the spoilers, how even more ridiculous it is going to get, but I’m going to anyway. Could I stop watching when they ret-conned the entire Brucas relationship? No. Could I stop watching when Haley had almost no screentime? No. When Nathan grew a beard? No. When a dog ate Dan’s heart (Yes, that’s right, I typed that correctly)? No. Could I stop watching when I knew Leyton would be endgame? No. Even when they were getting married with the compulsory OTP daughter, I knew Leyton were leaving so I’m still sticking around in the vain hope that the Chad will soon realise this is the only acting gig he’s going to get and come back and Brucas will be forever. One Tree Hill and I are stuck in a Chinese finger trap. One of us has to let go. It’s not going to be me.

So there you have it, my pathetic patheticness in all its pathetic glory. Go on, I’ve shared. Don’t be afraid. Share your abusive TV relationships with us and trust me, it’ll feel better.

4 Responses to “The Deal Breaker: Why Enough is Enough”

Anonymous said...

I used to have that problem of needing to watch TV shows until their bitter end but the more new shows I got into, the more impatient a viewer I became. So I managed to drop a few shows here and there: Bones when they turned Zach into a killer and broke off Jack & Angela, House when the original team was no more and it became the Huddy show, Gilmore Girls when they broke up Luke & Lorelai and Heroes when they had Sylar easily kill Elle. When I can't recognise the characters I fell in love with, I'm out.

Sophie Shephard said...

IMO, you're not missing much on the Buffy front. I was SUCH a hardcore fangirl (well, not in a creepy Twilight way or anything) for the first three seasons. But season four sucked so badly that I wound up dropping it.

I drifted back in and out for a while after that. Saw most of season five (ugh, Dawn). I've never even seen the musical episode. Though I must say that the s5 episode "The Body" is one of the only things in the world guaranteed to make me cry.

I never watched the Angel spin-off, either, other than a handful of crossover episodes in the first season.

I find that I've actually given up on most of my super-fandomy shows at some point. Like the comment above me, I can't deal with House anymore. And I'm holding onto Heroes by a thread, only because of my love for the Petrellis.

Selina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Selina said...

Great post!!! I have so much to say! I'm totally in the same situation as you... once I'm in, I'm IN. For good. Usually I start watching a show and it takes over my life for a few weeks (or months cough) and I must like, go online and read about the actors and production and what people ship etc... even with shows I don't really like! However, the one show I actually did stop watching:

Heroes. Ok so maybe that's a lie, I've still got the last 4 eps of the season and I might watch them in really desperate times, but it just came to a point last year when it became a chore to sit down and watch it every week, and I tended to either skip through it (blasphemy, in my opinion!) or half-screen it and surf the Internet at the same time... which I usually can't do unless I've seen the episode before. It just got really pointless, you know? Kring once said that they wouldn't kill people off for no reason, but when Nikki died I almost stopped watching, then when Daphne died I just lost the will. I've completely lost interest in this show.

I started watching Battlestar Galactica, and it was okay at first, but there just came a point where I just couldn't believe any of the storylines, they dragged out and despite all the show's critical acclaim I thought the storylines and character development was a mess. But I kept watching. 90210, the worst show I have ever seen in my life, I'll keep watching despite the puppet characters with adjustable personalities to fit this week's cliche teenage problem. OTH I'll keep watching, even if Mouth and Millie apparently become season regulars ("you lost your virginity!" "it was mine to lose!" "you stopped wearing glasses!" "my glasses don't define me!" *GAAAG*)... sigh. It's a curse.

As for Supernatural, I agree but I don't think it would make me stop watching lol! I don't think anything could! I completely agree it would be ridiculous and totally selling out everything the show stands for!

I'm gonna side with your friends on the Buffy issue... it's like with OTH in a way, once Angel left it just became a different show, which you can watch for its own merits. Seasons 1-3 are great, romantic and poignant... but seasons 4-7 are about growing up, and family, and it's a hell of a lot more sarcastic and funny. I actually make the comparison usually between Supernatural humour and Buffy humour, I think they're very similar. I think even though Angel and Buffy/Angel was such a big part of the show, later they developed different aspects and developed other characters, and I think it's worth watching for Xander, Willow, Giles, etc. So yeah. Give it up already! :P

Oh, wait, I lied about Heroes. I also gave up on Greys Anatomy. The Izzie/Denny thing got to me. Even though he is Daddy Winchester. It was just too much.

That's all! Sorry for comment spamming you! :D