Sunday, June 7, 2009

Suck It, TVGuide: The 20 Hottest Kisses of All Time

Back in February of 2005, TV Guide celebrated Valentine's Day by making a list of the 20 Hottest Kisses of All Time. We knew this list existed (mainly because Mae has never forgotten a JJ Abrams quote from it), but we hadn't really looked at it in years. A few days ago, Caroline and Mae got to talking about this list on Twitter with several other fangirls, and one opinion was resoundingly clear: that list sucks.

Completely unhappy with what TV Guide had done so many years ago, we decided to remedy the situation by creating a Top 20 list of our very own. We polled other TV fans and took in opinions on shows/pairings that aren't necessarily universally loved here at the blog, so we feel like we've managed to create a pretty objective list of the Real 20 Hottest Kisses of All Time. Take a look for yourselves and let us know if you agree!

Hot Kiss #20: Carrie and Big, Sex & The City, "An American Girl in Paris (Part Deux)"

After waiting practically a lifetime for these two to get their acts together, this moment was the perfect ending to the TV series--and a fabulous setup for the movie that followed. Mr. Big finally realizes that Carrie is the only woman he's ever really loved and, after seeking advice and permission from her friends back in NYC, jets over to Paris to win her back. Sure, the kiss isn't long and overpowering, but the emotions behind it definitely are. And the pure knowledge of what it finally means for their future is enough to get it a spot on this list.

Sexy Bonus Points: 10 for the "it's so epic" music playing over the kiss, another 10 for Big holding her so tightly and repeatedly kissing her cheeks.

Hot Kiss #19: Luke and Lorelai, Gilmore Girls, "So...Good Talk"

Their romance shattered thanks to the uninvited meddling of Lorelai's mother, Emily, Luke and Lorelai had been moping around town and completely falling apart as individuals who just wanted to be together and had no idea how to make it right. Emily, fed up with Lorelai for ignoring her and refusing to attend Friday Night Dinner, pays Luke a visit and tells him that he's won--go reunite with Lorelai and fix what's broken. Emily thinks this will solve all of her problems with her daughter, but all Luke cares about is the fact that he can be with the woman he loves again. Wallowing on her sofa and watching A Star is Born, Lorelai gets the best pick-me-up ever when she opens the front door and is instantly kissed by her own "Man That Got Away."

Sexy Bonus Points: 40 for the way no words are spoken, he just pounces. Day-um.

Hot Kiss #18: Josh and Donna, The West Wing, “Transition”

Even though some people around here still think Josh should’ve ended up with Amy, no one can deny that this kiss is sexy. After a few campaign-trail trysts, Donna told Josh she wanted to actually sit down and talk about things. Back in Washington, Josh was really not liking that idea. So when she shows up at his door late at night, he’s really not interested in having The Talk with her. Turns out, neither is she. Bow chicka wow wow. Nothing like seeing straight-laced ex-assistant Donna Moss turn into a wanton sex goddess to make Josh stop asking questions.

Sexy Bonus Points: 40 for the mutual feet-kicking-the-door-closed moment, 10 for the sheer awesomeness of “Who said anything about talking?”

Hot Kiss #17: Ryan and Taylor, The OC, "The End's Not Near, It's Here"

It's the series finale of The OC, and Ryan and Taylor have been broken up for six months. She's back in town, Julie and The Bullit are about to get married, Kirsten just gave birth to little Sophie Rose and the Cohen family is more than likely about to leave Newport Beach for a calmer lifestyle in Berkeley. Taylor has been slightly panicked about what this means for any potential future with Ryan, but he's been pretty unreceptive until now. Finally, he pulls her aside before the wedding to talk about it and... well, as is often the case for pretty TV people, the lingering feelings can't be pushed aside.

Sexy Bonus Points: 30 for the frantic nature of it all, another 25 for dom!Taylor and the ripping open of Ryan's shirt.

Hot Kiss #16: Dana and Casey, Sports Night, “Special Powers”

Having just broken up with her fiancĂ©, Casey’s following the “rules” by observing the statute of limitations on asking Dana out. Unfortunately, somewhere their wires got crossed and no one really knows what the statute of limitations is. During a commercial break, they try to figure things out, and they do--they decide to put off their first kiss until after the show. Luckily, though, Casey’s got enough common sense not to procrastinate their moment, and when he turns around and seals the deal, we swoon.

Sexy Bonus Points: 30 for Dana checking out his butt as he walks away post-kiss (and feeling deservedly proud of herself!), 15 for the perfect timing of “It’s In His Kiss.”

Hot Kiss #15: Seth and Summer, The OC, "The Rainy Day Women"

It's so cheesy, it's actually kind of epic. Seth and Summer broke up at the end of the first season and when Seth returned to make amends, he found Summer already dating Zach, the perfect non-geeky version of Seth. Half a season passed with Seth and Summer attempting to be friends and denying their residual love for another, until Summer was scheduled to spend a few weeks in Italy with Zach and his family -- Seth makes one last attempt to win her back, but not until she's already at the airport does she realize the mistake she's making and where her heart really belongs. She ditches Zach (but he's really sweet about it--"Can't fight fate.") and rushes back to the Cohen house where Seth has been up on the roof in his waterproof Spiderman cap trying to fix the satellite system. Like we said, it's cheesy as can be, but it's pretty hot and you have to give props to Josh Schwartz for using an epic movie moment to create an almost-epic TV one.

Sexy Bonus Points: 10 automatically for kissing in the rain, another 10 for the sheer difficulty of kissing upside down and still making it look hot.

Hot Kiss #14: Mulder and Scully, The X-Files, The X-Files: Fight the Future

This one definitely isn’t canon, but we’re also including the Mulder/Scully deleted kiss from The X-Files: Fight the Future. This one combines a lot of the elements of our other favorites: desperation, angst, the removal of barriers... The X-Files have been decommissioned by the bureau and Scully’s been transferred out of DC, just as the partners are closer than ever to finding the truth. In the canon, a bee stings Scully right before their lips touch, but on the DVDs, they’re allowed to kiss--and maybe more!

Sexy Bonus Points: 50 for their facial expressions (these two excel at conveying emotion without words), 20 for Mulder lifting her off the ground.

Hot Kiss #13: Ross and Rachel, Friends, “The One With the Prom Video”

Forget “The One Where Ross Finds Out.” That didn’t work out anyway! For us, it’s all about their first real kiss. Ross and Rachel had been fighting and making up and fighting and making up for so long, it was looking pretty hopeless. But then Monica stumbled upon a video of her and Rachel getting ready for senior prom. When it looked like Rachel’s date (the oh-so-lovable-NOT Chip) was going to be a no-show, Ross high-tailed it upstairs, borrowed his Dad’s tux, and prepared to take Rachel himself. Years later, she still had no idea that happened, because Chip showed up before Ross could get back downstairs and made the sweet gesture moot. Well, until NOW, when Rachel thanked him with a sweet (and sexy!) kiss.

Sexy Bonus Points: 20 for how his hands immediately go to her sides (love it!), 40 for the best post-kiss line ever--“See! He’s her lobster!”

Hot Kiss #12: Jim and Pam, The Office, “Casino Night”

A point of contention between Caroline and her fellow Office Twitterers arose earlier, as we debated the merits of all of Jim and Pam’s kisses. See, we were leaning toward their kiss in “Weight Loss” (not the proposal kiss, but the one where he shows up at her dorm at Pratt) or the one in “Job Fair.” But the others ultimately steered us in the right direction; their first kiss, their “just once” kiss, is definitely the sexiest. Jim tells Pam he’s in love with her, that he needs her to hear it. She’s quick to shoot him down with an “I can’t,” but we see her minutes later, recalling the night’s events to her mom on the phone. And when Jim interrupts her, ready to go all or nothing, she so totally kisses back. (And now they’re having a baby.)

Sexy Bonus Points: 15 for the continuation of this scene in “Gay Witch Hunt,” where Pam runs her hands down from Jim’s shoulders to clasp his hands, another 10 for Jim’s sheer bravery.

Hot Kiss #11: Tony and Michelle, 24, “Season Two: 2:00 AM-3:00 AM”

Note: If you have a clip of just that scene, please leave us a link in the comments!

Click here to watch!

(Scene starts with 15:30 left in the episode.)

Y’all, none of us here at Chaos in General even watch 24, but when our friend Carrie Twittered us with the clip, we couldn’t deny that this kiss is definitely worthy of inclusion. We don’t know much about 24, but I guess the days get kind of stressful around there. Tony and Michelle had been dancing around something for a while, but when things got particularly crazy in the office (A bomb! Sibling issues! Terrorism!), they stopped dancing long enough to have a really passionate, very open-mouthed kiss in the corridor. And it was hot.

Sexy Bonus Points: 10 for her being sorry--but not sorry enough to stop kissing.

Hot Kiss #10: House and Cuddy, House, "Under My Skin"

Fact of the matter is, this probably would end up higher on the list if it had actually been real. Unfortunately, the entire situation (House detoxing from Vicodin with a supportive Cuddy by his side, Cuddy confessing a twenty-year crush, their flirty banter and - yes - this incredibly hot kiss & the sex that followed it) was all a hallucination thanks to House's schizophrenic brain. Still, this is pretty damn hot. There's a desperate hunger about it; an untamed passion caused by decades of UST. It's sexy as hell, and one can only imagine what it might actually be like when it finally happens in a reality beyond House's mind.

Sexy Bonus Points: 30 for the heavy breathing/moaning on Cuddy's part, another 20 for House pinning her against the wall (Mae's favorite sexy thing ever).

Hot Kiss #9: Derek and Meredith, Grey’s Anatomy, “The First Cut is the Deepest”

Derek’s got a thing for ferryboats--and apparently for the new intern. Though she’s trying her damnedest to keep her distance, neither one of them can keep their hands off each other, as evidenced by this sexy three-story kiss in the elevator. This scene, from only the second episode of the series, shows just how much chemistry these two had from the very beginning.

Sexy Bonus Points: 30 for the all-over hands, another 25 for the fact that four seasons later, they’ll get engaged in that very elevator.

Hot Kiss #8: JD and Elliot, Scrubs, "My Monster"

On again/off again so frequently over eight years, there were lots of kisses to choose from for these two. But this one clearly takes the cake. Elliot had just temporarily moved in with JD and Turk after falling on hard financial times, and they were finding it more and more difficult to ignore the sexual tension between them that is always, always, always lingering. They become sex buddies, but eventually (as usual) it all falls apart again. However, like another "we were sex buddies once upon a time" couple on this list, it's all good because the "My Finale" flashforward shows them happily married (and parenting the requisite OTP baby daughter).

Sexy Bonus Points: 10 for the way JD swiftly brushes her hair aside and grabs her face for the initial kiss, another 20 for all of the groping and ass-grabbing involved.

Hot Kiss #7: Chase and Cameron, House, "Hunting"

These two had wanted to "jump" each other practically since the Pilot, with Chase more or less admitting it in episode three ("Occam's Razor") and (if you believe in the importance of scripted-but-cut-at-the-last-minute scenes, which we totally do) Cameron admitted it in that same episode, as well. It's not actually surprising, then, that her life-affirming response to an HIV scare would be to lose her "good girl" inhibitions through a dose of meth and place a booty call to the dependable Aussie she knew had been crushing on her all along. Unorthodox as it may be, this is more or less the foundation of their coupling. (And now they're happily married!)

Sexy Bonus Points: 50 for Jennifer Morrison apparently getting caught up in the moment & forgetting it wasn't real (she and Jesse were actually dating at the time) when she stuck her hand down his pants, another 15 for their precision in blindly navigating themselves into the bedroom.

Hot Kiss #6: Alex and Izzie, Grey’s Anatomy, “From a Whisper to a Scream”

Another kiss we love is Alex and Izzie’s first kiss on Grey’s Anatomy. Heretofore, their courtship had been an epic fail. After several dates, Alex had failed to seal the deal, and Izzie was ready to call it quits. Then, when all seemed lost, he manned up and planted one on her--at Joe’s in front of all of her friends. It’s romantic, sexy, and funny--the perfect beginning to one of our favorite OTPs.

Sexy Bonus Points: 10 for each little kiss this kiss is comprised of, 30 for the well-deserved “Seriously” that follows.

Hot Kiss #5: Chuck and Blair, Gossip Girl, “Victor/Victrola”

Of all the characters on Gossip Girl, Caroline probably likes Chuck the least. And yet when we look at all the liplocks on this show (and there are an awful lot of ‘em), we’d be hard-pressed to find another that outdoes this one. Because hot damn. Feeling reckless and out of control, Blair gives her virginity to Chuck in the backseat of his limo after a night of dancing at his nightclub, Victrola. It was probably a bad move, considering Chuck’s narcissism and downright rudeness, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t really hot.

Sexy Bonus Points: 20 for the cinematography of the episode, culminating in this choppy, film-strippy sequence, 40 for whatever Chuck’s doing with that spaghetti strap.

Hot Kiss #4: Jack and Kate, Lost, “316”

It was hard to pick a Jate kiss, but we ultimately decided upon the kiss in “316.” It contains many of the same elements as their first kiss--a tinge of desperation, a stressful situation--only now, their relationship is tempered by years of history, not just days. Here, they speak more in looks and tone of voice than in words--and they both understand. And instead of Kate running away, leaving Jack all confuzzled, the scene ends in babymaking sex.

Sexy Bonus Points: 30 for Kate’s heavy breathing, 50 for Jack’s fingers on her neck.

Hot Kiss #3: Pete and Addison, Private Practice, “In Which Sam Gets Taken for a Ride”

Why, Shonda!????? WHY????!!!! These two were the hottest thing you had going, and now you’re pushing Pete/Violet? And Addison/Married Man? So wrong. We’re all about the Pete/Addison, especially this kiss. The camera work shows it’s more than just about the lips touching--it’s also about his hands on her calves, her black you-know-what-me-pumps behind his legs, and the oh-so-dangerous glint in Pete’s eye. This kiss is locked in the CIG vault, too.

Sexy Bonus Points: 50 for how swiftly he lifts her onto that countertop, 20 for his hands in her hair.

Hot Kiss #2: Sydney and Vaughn, Alias, “Phase One”

One shoo-in (and the only one from our countdown also featured on TV Guide’s list) was Sydney and Vaughn’s first kiss in “Phase One.” For the first season and a half of Alias, these two characters circled each other, caught between their desire to be together and the certain death that would follow their coupling. (See, he worked for the CIA while she was a double agent inside a terrorist cell--tough break for a fledgling romance.) SD-6 was the one and only thing keeping them apart. And in this episode, they destroyed that one and only thing in a takeover of epic awesome proportions--and immediately ran to each other for an even more epic and awesome kiss. Their makeout sesh in the rubble of SD-6 not only made us cheer for the resolution of some serious sexual tension, it also made us shout “America! Fuck yeah!”

Sexy Bonus Points: 20 for being so into the kiss they ignore Weiss, 40 for this quote from JJ Abrams: “They were dating at the time, so it wasn't very tough for them to do." (‘Cause she was also married at the time. To someone else.)

Hot Kiss #1: “Booth” and “Brennan,” Bones, “Santa in the Slush”/Real Life

Okay, this one probably doesn’t technically count, but we’re including “Booth” and “Brennan’s” first kiss in “Santa in the Slush”--but only the sextended version available exclusively on YouTube and DVD! Yep, David and Emily went SO above and beyond on this assignment (was tongue really necessary?) that it actually had to be tamed down in post-production. It may not be official canon for Booth and Brennan, but the more-than-enough-steamboats version is definitely canon in our book (and, apparently, David and Emily’s).

Sexy Bonus Points: 40 for David getting so flustered he has to consult his script for his next line (the oh-so difficult “I don’t know what that means, but Merry Christmas”), another 30 for David opening his eyes twice to check on the status of the kiss.

12 Responses to “Suck It, TVGuide: The 20 Hottest Kisses of All Time”

Totally agreed on almost all of these (at least that I've seen), although I'd add in one of the early CJ/Danny kisses from Season 1 when it's all forbidden fruit and grabbing and kissing in the stairwell.

Also, not to be the Whedon girl around here, but I'd further add in the Buffy/Angel kiss from "I Will Remember You" (Angel 1x8). I cannot for the love of David Boreanaz find the clip on YouTube, but they touch hands and go at it on a table/against a fridge. And then there's a cute thing with ice cream and David's weirdly hairless chest.

Anonymous said...

As I was scrolling down that list (Yay for House!), I was getting a bit worried about now seeing Booth and Brennan. Then, BAM! Number one! D*** straight! :D

Skip a Bones moment? On this blog?

eilien said...

Couldn't agree more with #1 !!

Jamie said...

Couldn't agree more with #3 ! Although it should be #1, actually :)

Anonymous said...

How can you have this list and not have the famous Sawyer/Kate kiss in there? And not only that, but choosing a Kate/Jack kiss over that (or any other Sawyer/Kate kiss)?

Mae Vaughan said...

The better question, really, is how can you visit our blog and actually be surprised by that? I'd say our loyalty to Jack/Kate is more than overwhelmingly obvious.

That aside though, "hotness" is a subjective thing. There is no universal definition and, therefore, many people (like you, Anonymous, perhaps) would agree with the original TVGuide list whilst others (like us) think it's incredibly off-base. You think the Skate kiss(es) are "hot" and we here at the blog would categorize them (at least, mainly, the first one) as "slimy, creepy, and incredibly unromantic." To each his/her own, but the fun part of this being OUR blog with BLATANT 'shipper biases is that... well, we don't have to show love or appreciation for anything we more or less hate.

We love all of our readers and we're always up for civilized debate, but it really shouldn't come as a shock that we ignore Sawyer/Kate when we have Jack/Kate in the banner and an entire entry tag dedicated to "Jate Daily News" :)

Anonymous said...

Bones kiss is super-hot. and it is hilarious that DAvid forgot his line. how cute.

Unknown said...

I agree with most of them (that I watch, at least), but I would like to add another one in, as long as we're including cut footage:
(major spoilers for finale of S4 of Doctor Who)

Ooh, wait, sorry, I just thought of another: (spoilers for episode 3x08 of Primeval)
A bit of background on that one--the guy Abby talks to in the beginning is her brother Jack, and Rex is her prehistoric flying lizard creature.

Oh, and there's this, which is hot to look at, but slightly less so in the actual context (possession): (spoilers for Doctor Who 2x01)

Okay, so I got a bit carried away...

Unknown said...

@Erin -- LMAO I am watching Doctor Who 2x01 right now! For the first time. And, eh. I'm sure these two will eventually have an awesome kiss (I'm assuming they do in the first clip you linked), but this one is not so great, IMO. Very forced. Very "oh, since she's possessed, let's have her kiss the doctor." Same thing happened on Alias, ruining Sydney and Vaughn's first reunion kiss after they faked his death. Whaaa whaaa.

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ale-la-pazza1 said...

I agree with almost all,except RT