Thursday, April 16, 2009

House: How We Saw It Coming All Along

If you watched this week's House episode (and if you didn't, you're sadly deprived) you know that Chase and Cameron got engaged, just as Mae and I predicted. And it was perfect, the culmination (for now) of five seasons of development.

I was a little bit surprised by the fandom's reaction, though. Whether people loved or hated this turn of events, many of them seemed surprised, or said they'd never seen it coming.

I feel like I've known we'd end up here practically from the moment I stepped into the fandom.

So how did I know?

Here, in celebration of this squee-worthy development, I present to you a list of the major canon anvils for Chase and Cameron's relationship, and eventual engagement.


1x03 Occam's Razor

Chase: We should test the girlfriend’s theory. She thinks she rode him to death.
Foreman: [laughs] What did you tell her?
Chase: Well, I told her 22-year old men don’t die of sex.
Cameron: What’d you ask her?
Chase: What do you mean?
Cameron: I mean, I hope you got some specifics on exactly what was going on. It’s a girl who thinks it could kill you… it’s worth knowing about. [pause]
Chase: Have you ever taken a life?

Chase: I’m waiting for the Epstein Barr virus. [looks at Cameron] She’s weird, isn’t she?
Foreman: Bad idea.
Chase: What?
Foreman: Bad idea. You work with her.
Chase: What did I say? Is “weird” some new ghetto euphemism for sexy, like “bad” is good and “phat” is good? Then what the hell does “good” mean?
Foreman: “Ghetto euphemism”? [Chase laughs.] You don’t think she’s hot?
Chase: No.
Foreman: Wow, then you’re brilliant. And I am using “brilliant” as an euphemism.
Chase: Obviously, the girl is hot. You, you’re not talking about her aesthetics, you’re talking about if I want to jump her. I don’t.
Foreman: Brilliant. [long pause, a test beeps] Your Epstein Barr is ready.

Cameron: What about Chase?
Foreman: Well, the man has no physical interest in you. He has a completely professional relationship with you, he respects you as a colleague and a doctor, and yet he can’t look at you without thinking sex.
Cameron: Because I asked what kind of sex could kill you?
Foreman: You now have total control over your relationship with him.
Cameron: So, a woman can’t express her interest in sex without it being some professional powerplay?
House: No. [House walked in to the lab, unbeknownst to the other doctors.] If you look the way you do, and you say what you said, you have to be aware of the effect that it’ll have on men.
Cameron: Men should grown up.

Cameron: Sex… could kill you. Do you know what the human body goes through when you have sex? Pupils dilate, arteries constrict, core temperature rises, heart races, blood pressure skyrockets [Chase is starting to look uncomfortable], respiration becomes rapid and shallow, the brain fires bursts of electrical impulses from nowhere to nowhere and secretions spit out of every gland [Chase starts to look for an escape route], and the muscles tense and spasm like you’re lifting three times your body weight. It’s violent, it’s ugly, and it’s messy, and if God hadn’t made it unbelievably fun… the human race would have died out eons ago. [small pause] Men are lucky they can only have one orgasm. You know that women can have an hour-long orgasm? [Chase is very wide-eyed; Foreman walks in.] Hey, Foreman. What’s up?

2x07 Hunting

[Chase knocking at a door of an apartment in a long hallway. There's music blasting from inside the room. The door opens to reveal Cameron with badly disheveled hair.]
Chase: Glad you changed your mind about that drink.
Cameron: Come on in.
Chase: You should get changed, there's this new place on campus that looks… [Cameron pushes him up against the wall and kisses him. Chase looks very confused but kisses her back.] Are you high?
Cameron: Uh huh. [She strips off Chase's jacket, he doesn’t really fight her.]
Chase: I thought you disposed of the drugs.
Cameron: Not all of it. [They start stripping each other.]
Chase: Uhh, slow down… your pupils are dilated! You’re not… [She yanks his shirt off.]
Cameron: Come on Chase; don't turn into a good guy on me now.
[They continue kissing.]

Chase: Ativan. It’ll help settle you down. [He hands her some pills which she takes.]
Cameron: Why are you so calm?
Chase: Not coming off meth helps. Last night probably shouldn't happen again.
Cameron: Do you think I want it to?
Chase: When two people have had sex, unless it sucks, if they can do it again, they're gonna do it again. And that's when things get complicated. And it didn't suck.

3x14 Insensitive

Foreman: You married a dying man. You thought six months, a year, it'll be tough. But then I'll recover and I'll have the rest of my life. It's like willingly getting the flu or joining the Peace Corps. Short term.
Cameron: Wow, you nailed it. It was basically like a wasted weekend.
Foreman: The sacrifices you made were huge. But they were at the height of your love for him. Commitment is only commitment because it has no expiration date. You stand next to someone and watch them floss for 30 years like my parents have, then ask for sacrifices. That's how you know the real thing. Cameron, I wasn't criticizing you. People who avoid commitment are people who know what a big thing it is.

Chase: Happy Valentine's Day.
Cameron: A holiday that only applies to people who are already paired up. For everyone else it's Wednesday.
Chase: Wow. Thank you for that dash of cold water.
Cameron: Don't get me wrong. I still think true love's out there it's just very far away. Possibly in another galaxy. We may need to develop faster than light travel before we can make contact. (They walk outside) So I'm thinking we should have sex.
Chase: That makes sense.
Cameron: Despite the wisdom of pop songs. there's no point in putting our lives on hold 'til love comes along. We're both healthy and busy people. We work together so it's convenient.
Chase: Like microwave pizza?
Cameron: And of all the people I work with, you're the one I'm least likely to fall in love with.
Chase: Like… microwave pizza.
Cameron: The point here is to make things simpler, not more complicated. Someday there'll be time to get serious about someone. Meanwhile, we already had sex once and didn't get weird about it. So…
Chase: I get it. I get it. So, what if I'm offended by your judgement.
Cameron: Then you're not the man I'm looking for.

3x17 Fetal Position

Cuddy: House won’t care. He has his diagnosis. [She starts to leave, then stops] Dr. Cameron. Dating Chase… can only end in one of two ways.
Cameron: House told you?
Cuddy: You get married and live happily ever after or somebody gets hurt and you two can’t work together and I have to fire somebody.
Cameron: I would hate to see my personal life become such a burden to you.
Cuddy: I’m telling you this for your own good.
Cameron: Well I assume you’re going to have this same conversation with Chase for his own good.
Cuddy: Chase isn’t the one who’s gonna get hurt here.

House: Oh look. Sticking up for your girlfriend. Who says chivalry’s dead?
Foreman: He’s not joking? [Cameron gives him an exasperated sigh.]
House: Be patient. She’s going through all of us. She’ll get that jungle fever eventually. [Cameron glares at House.]
Cameron: I’m not going through anyone.
House: You love him? [Chase and Cameron each give him a look.]

3x18 Airborne

CAMERON: [tossing the bottle aside, entering the bedroom] Is Foreman right? Did you agree with me because of our relationship?
CHASE: Relationship?
CAMERON: You know what I mean.
CHASE: You mean, because of our _lack_ of a relationship.
CAMERON: I mean, because we're having sex.
CHASE: [joking] Yes, Foreman's right. I thought you were completely wrong about the medicine, but agreed with you anyway because I figured that then you'd do me in some old lady's home.
CAMERON: [playfully] Then, well played.

CHASE: I want more.
CAMERON: [joking] I thought you were getting a little worn out, but...
CHASE: That's not what I meant.
CAMERON: [losing the smile] I know. I was just hoping you'd take the hint and pretend you never said that.
CHASE: I want this to be more than it is.
CAMERON: I thought we were clear.
CHASE: In the beginning, but you can't tell me you don'...
CAMERON: [interrupting] Yes, I can. And I don't. It was... fun. That's it.
[She looks at him ruefully.]
CAMERON: And now it's over.

3x19 Act Your Age

CAMERON: You were right. An eight-year-old kid grabbed my ass. I shouldn't have encouraged him.
CHASE: [Laughs.] Well, I was a boy once I know how they think.
CAMERON: You were a pervert at 8?
CHASE: Maybe... 11. [Laughs.]
CAMERON: I didn't realise you were going to get hurt. I'm sorry I misled you.
CHASE: You didn't. You have feelings for me. You come back to me again and again.
CAMERON: For sex. It's a simple, physical...
CHASE: C'mon, you have feelings for puppies and patients that you barely know but when it comes to a guy that you've worked with for 3 years? [Takes her hand.] Had sex with, spent the night with, you're telling me you feel nothing? Absolutely nothing?

[Cut to Chase getting ready to leave in the locker room, Cameron walks in and notices flowers on top of her locker, the card reads 'Not Stolen'. Cameron smiles and takes them down.]
CAMERON: They're beautiful. [She walks a few steps closer to Chase.] I thought about what you said, and ... I really don't want a relationship with you.
CHASE: I know. I also know you like flowers. [They smile at each other Chase leaves, Cameron looks at the flowers.]

3x20 House Training

Chase: 6 mm cuts, started at the apexes. Also, I just wanted to let you know, should you change your mind, I’ll be available.
Cameron: Aren’t you getting tired of hearing me say it? I have no intention of going out with you, having sex with you, doing anything with you, except work.
Chase: You don’t have to make a big deal about it, I just thought I’d let you know. I decided Tuesdays would be a good day to do that.
Cameron: You did not suddenly fall in love with me. You were looking for something, and I happened to be st –
Chase: Cameron, it’s fine. No need to go on about it. Advancing through the lung bases.
Cameron: We need to put this behind us.
Chase: Understood.
Cameron: But you keep bringing it up!
Chase: You’re the one who’s still talking. Look, I’m not demanding anything from you, I’m not following you home, I’ve got no expectations. A gentle, polite reminder once a week is hardly stalking.

3x24 Human Error

(Monday night, Cameron is waiting outside Chase's door when he opens it)
Chase: Hi.
Cameron: Its Tuesday.
Chase: Uhh... no, it’s Monday.
Cameron: I know, it's just... I didn't feel like waiting.
[they smile at each other and share a kiss]

4x02 The Right Stuff

WILSON: Interesting. So you're seeing Cameron now?
HOUSE: No. Not interesting because not seeing. Saw. My patient wont consent to MRI's or ultrasounds, and you've dealt with more liver cancer than anyone else here.
WILSON: So you want me to share the secret scanning techniques I learned in Nepal? Unfortunately, the monks made me swear a blood oath. Where was she?
HOUSE: In the lobby. I guess we could palpate the area around the liver.
WILSON: Which wont work unless the tumour's enormous, which you KNOW, which means your here because these visions are freaking you out.
HOUSE: She had blonde hair, why would I hallucinate that?
WILSON: Yes. Yes, why are you merging Cameron and Chase? We should find out before the next time you see her when she'll be black.
HOUSE: Mm-hmm, because, of course it's scientifically impossible for a person to go back and visit somewhere they worked.
WILSON: No. But since she's not a dead cat, it is scientifically impossible for her to be in two places at once.
HOUSE: Physics joke. Don't hear enough of those.
WILSON: She just called me from Arizona. [Dials a number and turns the phone around so House can see the number.] Notice the area code – 480. They put an offer on a place in Scottsdale. [The phone is ringing.] Do you want to talk or should I? I guess we could both talk. Although they're engaged and if you're staying in touch, you might want to buy them... [House hangs up the phone with his cane.] Maybe it's not repressed guilt, Maybe it's just panic. Right now you've got enough fellows to build a rail road. But you're going to have to narrow that room full of numbers down to three people.

5x07 The Itch

House: [putting the phone on speaker] Speaking of breathing hard...Cameron, are you engaged to Chase yet?
Thirteen: Sorry, we should've clarified. We're calling about the patient, not Dr. Cameron's love life.
Cameron: We aren't engaged. It moves things along a lot faster to just give him the answers. Seizures can also be induced through--
House: [interrupting] After six years?
Cameron: A year and a half. Through sleep deprivation, or--
House: Sleep deprivation would take too long. You living together?
Cameron: We spend most nights together. There's a bunch of drugs that can lower a seizure threshold.
House: And cloud the diagnosis with side effects. His place or yours?
Cameron: His, usually.
House: Interesting.
Cameron: You would've said interesting no matter what the answer.
House: And no matter what the answer, it would've been interesting. No engagement, commitment issues. His place, control issues. Not sure whose, but interesting.

5x15 Unfaithful

Chase: [to Thirteen] Don't quit.
Thirteen: Cuddy wouldn't give Foreman a recommendation, he's not going to be able to find a decent job.
Chase: Foreman shouldn't leave either.
Cameron: You think they should split up?
Chase: Office romances are a bad idea. [off Cameron's look] We beat some very long odds.
Cameron: Wow, why don't you save the gushy stuff for the wedding? [to Thirteen] House is playing with you. If you let him get away with it, he's not gonna respect you anyway.
Chase: Or House is helping you. He knows it probably won't work out, and he's actually doing you a favor.
Cameron: Yeah, that sounds a lot more like House.

5x21 Saviors

House: You and Chase are over.
Cameron: You are wrong.
House: You decided that his single drawer of clothes is one drawer too many. But you don't have the guts to tell him, so you're emotionally walking away instead of actually walking away. Which is stupid, because only one of those is good for your heart.
Cameron: He's gonna ask me to marry him. I was looking for some thick socks. Found the ring.
House: And you wanna say no. So let's circle right back to his single drawer of clothes--
Cameron: I don't want to say anything. I don't want him to ask. Not now. Kutner--we're all a little freaked out. We go home, we just wanna hug someone, we just want to know that everything is going to be okay. I don't want him to propose just because he's scared.

Cameron: I should never have postponed our vacation.
Chase: I should never have planned it.
Cameron: I found the ring--in your sock. I didn't want you to propose out of some sort of knee-jerk reaction to what happened to Kutner.
Chase: Well, guess you don't have to worry about that anymore.
Cameron: I'm not, I...I don't care how it happens. I just...want it to happen.
Chase: Are... are you proposing to me?
Cameron: I'm...proposing propose to me.
Chase: After I broke up with you? After you ruined my planned proposal, you expect me to...
Cameron: I'm not expecting. [shrugs helplessly] Hoping.
[Chase slowly goes down on one knee and takes her hand.]
Cameron: Yes.

And there you have it, from the beginning of the series, circling back to that adorable picture that opened this entry. These are just the major anvils, the ones that told me what was to come. If you don't already know, there's a ton more little moments that I didn't include here, from ones that will stomp your heart into tiny pieces to ones that will make you squeal. Stay tuned--it's going to be a fun ride for the last three episodes of the season. And if you haven't watched yet, what are you waiting for?

(Credit to the clinic_duty LJ community for a good portion of these quotes.)

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