Thursday, February 12, 2009

Lost: It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

A couple days ago, an anonymous commenter wanted to know if I had seen the now-infamous Entertainment Weekly shots.

Yes, I’d seen them. I had definitely seen them.

I’d seen the cover, with Evangeline’s oh-so-freckly face and Matthew’s just-barely-stubbly cheeks. I’d seen the inside cover, with my OTOTP dancing and laughing in the jungle.


I’d seen the article shots, where Evangeline was perched sexily on Matthew’s shoulder, barefoot, his hand wrapped around her ankle, fingers delicately brushing against her foot.


I’d seen those pictures of them running, hands clasped, her dress flying in the wind.


And this, where his face clearly says MINE.


And I’d seen all of the outtakes, including that Basically Not Appropriate For Print Media shot, again of her on his shoulder, but where Matt’s got this face that says "Go away, man. We are busy."


And I’d seen the videos on, where they’re giggly and adorable and she’s on her back in the dirt and he’s got her in piggyback formation, all smiles.

Yeah, I’d seen them.

The problem?

I didn’t have the magazine.

I don’t know how many of you are having this problem, but according to the gentleman who works at my local newsstand, there’s some shady shit going down between Time, Inc., who publishes EW, and their east coast distributor. All I can say is screw you, assholes, because why did you have to mess up distribution this week of all weeks?

I looked everywhere. Several CVS stores, a RiteAid, a Walgreen’s, a Safeway grocery store, my campus bookstore, Borders, Target, and the newsstand.

Finally, Mr. Newsstand told me that he didn’t expect to get it at all. We had a hilarious conversation in which we both griped about not being able to get our hands on this handsy-handsy copy of Entertainment Weekly.

Caroline: “But I really want it!”
Mr. Newsstand: “Tell me about it. Have you SEEN that cover?”

So I called my trusty gal Leigh and asked her to mail me some copies. And, of course, as soon as I did that, Time figured out its problems and shipped the magazines. Because today, when I went to go purchase a twenty-pound bag of Purina Puppy Chow for Freckles AND NOTHING ELSE, there they were, her arms around his shoulders, the both of them looking SO DAMN FINE, and I let out a shocked “OH MY GOD.”

And as if I wasn’t already making a spectacle of myself lugging the biggest bag of dog food you can purchase at Harris Teeter (and it’s a big ol’ bag), then my freakout squee right there in the middle of the grocery store sure did the trick.

I bought one, even though I knew to expect Leigh’s special delivery. I justified it because I knew that now, I’d have her two copies for jart and my one copy to keep forever in mint condition.

What do I love most about this photoshoot?

How much it has invigorated the Jaters. How flipping hot those two are—you really want to argue now about whether or not those two have chemistry?

Yeah, those pictures are pretty much all we’ve been talking about for the last week.

Oh, wait. No, that’s not right.

We’ve also been talking about this:


I mean, I’m surprised Evangeline can open her mouth that wide. I’m not surprised it didn’t get cut, although apparently this Skater is:

“As to why that scene was the one cut? I can't say for sure, I don't have the privilege of being in the editing room when Damon & Carlton order the cuts. All I know is that the scene was in the screened version. The reviews and feedback were negative. And when the episode aired nationally, that scene was gone.

"Just doing the math.

"If you believe that the scene will appear in a later episode - - well, perhaps you are right, though I can't imagine how they'll fit it into the story. I expect that Kate is going to be very angry with both Jack and Ben after this betrayal. Can you think of a good scenario for the kiss to happen? Because personally, I can't. And we know this particular kiss doesn't take place on the Island, which is where they will soon be. Perhaps they'll fit it in as a flashback, at some future point, but what purpose would that serve? At this point in the story, going forward, we know Kate is going to be angry with Jack, and resist going back to the Island. Not much time for kissing, IMO.”

This poster, who Carrie the Darling linked me to, said she’d heard what happened thanks to some screeners, who revealed the plot for last night’s episode as “[Jack] then betrayed her and turned her (and Aaron) over to Ben.”

Remember that time? Remember when Jack turned Kate and Aaron over to Ben, because he’s so maniacal about getting back to the island that he doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself and his own selfish desires? He’d rather see Kate get hurt than abandon his plans?

Oh, wait. No. That didn’t happen.

That was this guy:

Jack, meanwhile, said, and I quote, “After what he just did to Kate, if you don’t kill him, I will.”

The kiss definitely didn’t get cut. It’s in next week’s episode, coupled with a teary, breathy “I’m going with you.”

What does this mean for Jate? What does this mean for Aaron? That’s a subject for another blog. This one is just about how happy I am right now to be a Jater. It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

3 Responses to “Lost: It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood”

mysticxf said...

Hi, you are made of m*ther f*cking win. I just needed to bow a little bit here to you.




Sophie Shephard said...

Oh, man. There is so much crazy on the internet. And I can only hope that The Kiss is actually in next week's episode and not, like, episode 15. Because I'm getting sick of counting down the days to every new episode, hoping to finally see it.

I almost had a fit when someone left the EW open on my kitchen table, lest the cover get bent. Although I admit, I don't really understand the shoulder-perching poses.

Me said...

OMFG! I love you. You posted the Skater's actual comments which have turned into like an urban Lost myth. I wanted to see their actual wording. That is so effing funny.

Damn though I've looked everywhere for EW and no one has had it. Makes sense now. I guess I should look again tomorrow. The pics are just spectacular.