Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Bones: Hey Now, Tiny Ramification

Hart Hanson rocked my world today when he said that Booth and Brennan’s finale sexing would not be a cheat: "No dream sequence here. No undercover assignment. Not even alcohol. They’re actually in bed having sex, and they won’t be able to just walk away from what happened. It will have serious ramifications.”

Um, what?

For the last several months, we’ve been resigned to the fact that Booth and Brennan’s hook-up would come with strings.

‘Cause first we heard they’d be in bed together naked, and we were like, “Hey, hypothermia.”

Then Hart said there’d be action, and we were like, “Hey, fantasy episode!”

No, seriously. Leigh and I had a GChat exchange just yesterday in which we lamented the fact that we knew we’d love the episode, but we were still a little disappointed that it would just be a cheat.

Now, I can’t believe it, but it actually sounds like Real Booth and Real Brennan will be having some of teh sex.

We also know, courtesy of Hart, that “there are events that precede it and events that follow.”

Amongst the girls here, we’ve been talking for the last few weeks about how much we would like Booth and Brennan to regain a little of that bickering we love so much from the earlier seasons. Hell, go beyond bickering to actual fighting. I hesitate to ask anything of Bones, because it is so generous with its giving, but I watched the pilot the other day, and day-um. That scene in the firing range is hotter than anything they’ve done all season.

It’s like they’ve really entered into this surrogate relationship and they’ve lost some of the sexual tension. It’s not tense anymore. It’s just like big piles of sweetness without any sex. Again, I am NOT complaining, but I would LOVE to see them get back to disagreeing.

So let me fill you in on where I’m going with this.

We also know that Brennan’s going to ask Booth to father her child. So far, it feels like it’s going to happen in “The Salt in the Wounds,” but I’m going to go out on a limb here (a big limb!) and say that I think the baby will indeed be related to teh sex. When we first heard the baby spoiler, I said very clearly that I didn’t think an actual baby would result.

Now, I’m the only one of me, Mae, and Leigh who thinks that’s exactly where they’re going.

Imagine this—

They argue in “The Salt in the Wounds” about the baby thing. In the closing scene, Booth lays it out there—no, Bones, the next kid I have is going to be with the person I’m going to spend my life with and raise a family with.

Maybe throughout the next few months and into May sweeps, she mentions it a couple more times. She’s looking into other options—sperm banks, etc. Booth is maybe not too happy about that, either, but whatever.

So the issue gets addressed again in the season finale. Brennan is still pushing Booth and he’s still pushing back. It’s causing lots of tension and problems. He’s frustrating her for being such a girl about the whole thing: all she’s asking is to have sex one time so he can get her pregnant, and it’s so convenient ‘cause she’s ovulating right now. Yeah, they could IVF this thing, but that costs money, and anthropologically speaking, they should be able to get pregnant the old-fashioned way, and that’s really better anyway. She’s frustrating him because he’d very much like to have sex with her, but not just to get her pregnant and especially not when she’s using words like cervical fluid or whatever. (Pregnancy has lots of weird words, and you know Brennan’s going to use them all.) He just wants her to see the whole thing from his perspective for a change and stop being so clinical about Booth and Brennan Having Sex for the First Time. It is a BIG DEAL.

And so they’re yelling and frustrated and finally Booth says, “Screw it.” And he grabs her and kisses her and, as Mae demands, pushes her up against a wall.

Now, they are allowed to write it off as a procreational project and not acknowledge that it is The Best Sex Ever. (Come on.) And then the season ends with Booth and Brennan peering over the business end of a positive pregnancy test. And Booth gets to look at her and say “I told you it was a BIG DEAL.”

And then they have a baby.

See, and everybody else is saying, “No way. No way Booth and Brennan have a baby in season five. Then the show’s over.”

Except NO. They can have a baby, because it’s Bones and Bones is ridiculous. And I came up with a list of a whole season’s worth of pregnancy stories, which I will post momentarily. They can keep denying their attraction to each other (“We’re having this baby together, but that’s it.”), but they get to do WAY more stuff together. And there’s so much more opportunity for both fluff (oh, God, Booth and pregnant Brennan) and angst (oh, God, Booth and pregnant Brennan).

Nothing really changes next year—they just get a wealth of new stories. The story doesn’t really change until season six, when the baby arrives and suddenly Booth and Brennan have a little person they have to take care of. Mae thinks this would be problematic to crime-solving, but I say get a babysitter! Episodes can end with Booth and Brennan doing their usual non-work activities, they just get to do it with baby in tow.

And anyway, that’s a problem for Future Hart Hanson.

5 Responses to “Bones: Hey Now, Tiny Ramification”

Breda said...

...are you now watching How I Met Your Mother despite protestations that you wouldn't? Because you totally, totally should. It's amazing.

Also, I don't think I will ever get over the horror that overwhelms me whenever I think about Booth and Brennan being together and having kids. (I totally reserve the right to take this back the minute it happens.)

Unknown said...

Okay, Breda, are you hiding in my apartment somewhere? Because, yes, I have been watching the HIMYM repeats on Lifetime, and, yes, they are freaking hilarious. But I still want it to end up with Ted/Robin and it's just not and it breaks my heart.

And I think Monday was the ep where Ted and Marshall are deciding who's gonna get the apartment, and they flashback to the past when they decided it was a problem for Future Ted and Future Marshall.

Is that what you based your question on? Because otherwise, please get your hidden cameras out of my living room.

mysticxf said...

This just made me laugh quite a bit. I like your scenario, nay, I WANT your scenario. That would be... guh, and you're absolutely right, Bones IS ridiculous, and they're probably one of the very FEW shows that could pull off a baby without being horrific or having to alter characters. *sigh*

Bring on Teh Sex!

Breda said...

Caroline: yes, that's exactly it. Don't worry; my hidden cameras have more interesting places to be. :D

For some reason I never really got into Ted/Robin. I thought they were adorable, sure, but they were never my OTP. Maybe because I knew from the start that they weren't (which I think was a really clever thing to do, actually), and maybe it's because I only started watching towards the end of season 3 and the people who got me into it had a different OTP (which I now adore). So I was ok with that, and just had fun with their relationship, without the worry that accompanies an OTP.

Anonymous said...

At first when i heard the whole baby thing i was like: Oh no! But after reading your scenario, i really hope they have a baby :)
I think with Booths help Bones will be a great mother :)

And i stopped watching HIMYM after i found out Ted and Robin wasnt going to end up together. They are so great together :)