Thursday, January 29, 2009

Lost: Please Don't Baby William Le Petit Prince!

I was thinking earlier about what I know about this season of Lost and I got a little nervous. For Aaron.

Because, after next week’s episode, “The Little Prince,” I can’t remember hearing anything about the little prince. And having watched one of my favorite characters of all time give her son, who was very, very special, up for random adoption, I knew it could happen.

I was suddenly frantic about the possibility that Kate, to protect her son, would give him up.

It sure fit with the promo I saw last night.

And then I really worked at it. And I realized, there’s no way she could give up one-sixth of the Oceanic Six for anonymous adoption. If Lost was real, there’d be paparazzi photos of Aaron Austen on the Celebrity Baby Blog. And then I’d know how and where to purchase his precious little t-shirts.

Plus, that’s going to be really hard to explain to Claire, who they’ve got to assume is still on the island. (“Lost,” but still alive.)

In thinking about how this might end up happening, I realized there’s an easier—and more stomachable—answer.

Kate (and maybe Jack?) decides to send Aaron back to Korea with Sun.

A few pieces of evidence that lend credence to this idea:

1. Sun: “Are you sure you want to do this?”
2. That behind-the-scenes video of Sun on the phone with Ji Yeon, in which she discusses a new playmate, Aaron.
3. Shots of Jack, Kate, and Hurley joining up with the ol’ DI—with no Aaron in sight.

This is good because it’s really convenient. I’ve been wondering for months how they were going to solve this problem—the Kate as Mommy Problem. Because Kate’s big on going on A-Missions. And without Locke, she’s the only tracker they’ve got. But do you really think Jack’s going to want her to go trekking through the jungle when Aaron’s back at camp waiting for Mommy? Uh, no. This way, Kate can A-Mission the hell out of the island while Sun takes care of Aaron.

It also gets Aaron out of California and American jurisdiction. It’ll be much harder for the lawyers (and the US Marshals, hey-yo) to get their hands on Aaron when he’s in hiding in Korea.

What does that mean for the Kate/Sun friendship? ‘Cause I was getting a serious passive-aggressive vibe last week, and now Kate’s leaving her kid with her?


Still, I’m betting that’s what happens.

Maybe that face-eating kiss happens after Kate sends Aaron off. Jack comforts her and promises that he’s off the stuff and ready to keep the whole family safe. Jaters melt with the love, Skaters cry act of desperation.

While we’re at it, let’s talk about two long-standing theories that have been affected by recent developments.

Sawyer sees Kate and Claire in the jungle. Darlton confirms that you could come across a time-lapsed version of yourself. Hey there, Adam and Eve!

The beach camp is gone. The barracks are (maybe kinda) gone. The caves are looking like a pretty good place to make shelter. Hey there, Adam and Eve!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Snap!Spec #5: Comparing Notes

There are casting notices out for an upcoming Bones episode, but no sides yet. (Please tell me this isn't Fox tightening up on spoilers--I live for those sides!)

Nothing really exciting yet, except for one thing--Dr. Wyatt is back. Yes, Booth's original therapist Gordon Gordon returns to assist on a case, and I couldn't be more excited. I can't wait to watch Wyatt and Sweets to collaborate and I speculate...

There's a delightfully hilarious scene involving Drs. Wyatt and Sweets swapping notes on Booth and Brennan's relationship neuroses.

The Office: Is Anyone Else Concerned About the Post-Super Bowl Episode?

Yeah, it has Jack Black, Cloris Leachman, and Jessica Alba.

Yeah, Give Me My Remote raved about the episode, saying it was a delightful throwback to season two.

Yeah, the cast has been going on and on about it.

You know what I think? I think y'all said the same thing about "Dinner Party." And that episode was terrible. You know what else was terrible? Last week's episode, "Prince Family Paper." I suppose it's possible that they poured so much funny into "Stress Relief" (airing Sunday) that they didn't have any left over for its predecessor, but I'm doubtful that they can take such a huge leap from craptastic (no seriously, I never even cracked a smile) to comedic brilliance in a mere ten day turnaround.

The clips I've seen aren't very funny, although then again, the clips I saw for "Weight Loss" weren't funny, either.

The Jam storyline seems to be promising, though.

From what I can piece together...

Pam's dad shows up to tell her that he and her mom are splitting up.

Pam is pretty upset, and Jim tries to cheer her up by watching bootleg movies (?). But Andy is the only one who knows how this works, so they have to deal with Andy (?).

The breakup of Pam's parents makes Pam question her relationship with Jim (if Mom and Dad can't make it work, how are Jim and I supposed to do it?), but Jim is wonderful and reassuring.

And then Jim and Pam elope. (Okay, I made that one up.)

I promise not to forget that both Alias's "Phase One" and Grey's Anatomy's "It's the End of the World" were post-Super Bowl episodes and they lived up to some very high expectations. I refuse, however, to stop questioning why NBC chose The Office and not 30 Rock for this spot.

Snap!Spec #4: Soldiers, Boats, Certain Deaths--Why Did It Take Me So Long to Make This Connection?

In the X-Files episode "Triangle," Mulder goes looking for a ghost ship in the Bermuda Triangle. He finds it and time travels back to 1939, where the ship is sailing through the Caribbean, populated by Nazis, famous scientists, and the like.

Of course, these people are all represented by characters like Skinner, the Cigarette-Smoking Man, and Scully herself.

Mulder figures out a way to save the future and enlists the help of the Scully character to turn the boat around. He tells her what to do, gives her a big, goodbye kiss, she slaps him (hard), and he dives into the ocean to save history.

So I was thinking today--who else is going to find himself trapped on a water vehicle with a ghost?

Um, Booth?

Now, I'm pretty sure we're not going to get a kiss in this episode, but I think a declaration of love probably isn't out of the question. I wouldn't be surprised to see Booth either:

A. Tell Teddy Parker that he loves Brennan.
B. Tell Brennan that he loves Brennan.
C. All of the above.

An important distinction is that this would be a declaration of love, not in love. Not that the latter isn't true, I just wouldn't expect Booth to put that out there quite yet, and definitely not to Brennan.

Here's the clip of 1998 Mulder telling 1998 Scully that he loves her. (Also, I feel old.)

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Lost: Squee Freakout #4589

According to one of Dark's sources, in an upcoming episode, half of the Oceanic Six returns (from what we've seen from those BTS videos, seems like it'll be Jack, Kate, and Hurley) and their return is kind of a big deal. The ultimate squeefest? "Juliet and Sawyer are living together."

Now, it's possible that they're just roommates, but, uh, doubtful.

And I'd really like to know how possible y'all think it is that, if the Suliet thing really happens, the couples could ultimately end up doing some bizarre swappage thing. Seems highly unlikely to me.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Snap!Spec #3: What. A. Diss.

The press release for episode five is out, and the only truly interesting thing is that included in the guest list is "Fionnula Flanagan as Eloise Hawking."

This surely lends fuel to the "Mrs. Hawking is Daniel's mom" theory, seeing as our favorite rodent from "The Constant" was named Eloise.

A few ideas:

#1. Dan hates his mother and names lab rats after her.
#2. Dan loves his mother and named a very special lab rat after her.
#3. Mrs. Hawking, at least for a time, was also operating out of Oxford, was doing her own time travel work, and Dan gave the rat the name ironically, since they were both time travelers.
#4. Eloise the Rat is Mrs. Hawking.

ER: Well, That Was Unexpected

I never thought I’d see the day. I even wrote on this very blog about how it would never happen, because it was too ridiculous. And it’s still ridiculous. But George Clooney is coming back to ER. Allegedly. Probably.

I love Clooney. I love Doug. I love Doug and Carol. Even so, I think this guest appearance is going to suck beyond all measure. But I will watch it. Because I am weak. And the set pictures floating around have Doug wearing a wedding ring and, well, I lived through all that nonsense with kissing the paramedic and Doug skipping town and missing the pregnancy and the way they tried to make Luka/Carol happen. So if we get to expand upon that one little moment of happiness where they reunite on the dock (regardless of whether they get Julianna Margulies back)… I’ll take it.

Which isn’t to say it won’t be cheesy and awful. There’s no way it can’t be. Because all of these guest spots from old cast members have the same problem. And that is that Neela is the most senior cast member. So you wind up with two, maybe three recurring nurses who know the old cast members, while everyone else stands around and shrugs. It’s awkward.

And the lack of connections between characters means the writers try to create connections where they don’t exist. They try to do this fanfic-y thing where all the characters on the canvas are magically besties. When Gloria Reuben came back last year, she had a throwaway line about meaning to visit Doug and Carol in Seattle. Wha?!? If I remember correctly, Jeannie briefly worked with Doug in season five and then he crashed a car in his last episode and nearly killed her. That was the extent of their relationship, and Jeannie and Carol were never particularly close.

They did the exact same thing when they wrote out Elizabeth Corday. Her farewell scene was with Carter, whom she had almost nothing to do with. He was just the only one left from that era.

So, yeah. I don’t look forward to the story that either brings someone (Carter?) to Seattle or lands a member of the Hathaway-Ross family in the ER. Neither way makes any sense and if his episodes do coincide with Noah Wyle’s, I’m sure TPTB will invent a close relationship that they never had.

And yet… George Clooney looks really cute in scrubs.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Lost: In More Concrete News...

There are new promos and promo pictures out for 5x04, "The Little Prince."

The idea I'm getting is that Claire's mom is the one leading the charge to test Aaron and Kate's DNA. And, from old spoilers, that Ben's trying to kidnap Aaron. A lot of people are speccing that Ben manipulates the situation to encourage Carole Littleton's involvement, thereby forcing Kate to take action and perhaps seek solace on the island.

I hoped a long time ago that this would incite Jack and Kate to join forces, at first just for safety's sake. I wanted to see them act as concerned parents in this situation, and while I'm sure the whole thing will go down in a much more intricate way than I can conceive of, it does seem like the situation is going to lead to some pretty heavy stuff for Jate.

In a behind the scenes video of shooting "The Little Prince," we see Jack and Kate arrive at a marina meeting together in Kate's Volvo. Jack says softly, " that we get you and Aaron someplace safe," to which Kate replies, "Safe from who?" Later (or earlier, who knows?), she asks, "Jack, why did you call me today?" And he says, "I told you, I was worried."



Carpooling to the Oceanic Six meeting!

Quite unexpectedly, I saw a new promo for Lost during Grey's Anatomy the other day. Now, this promo isn't up on Dark, but I swear to God, I saw it. It shows Jack and Kate kissing--and smiling.

And then there are these pictures, which for the life of me, I can't stop looking at.

Jack in the rain! Smiling! The other day, I wanted to change my Facebook picture to one of an excited-looking Kate, and I was stupidly surprised to find that there really aren't that many pictures of either one of them feeling gleeful. Yeah, there's jolf, and verbal copulation, and there's "Something Nice Back Home," of course, but these pictures here really capture that SQUEE I wanted. And look at these! The angles surely suggest they're making eye contact here:

Now, if you do see the same promo I saw (with the kissing), don't be fooled by the shot immediately after of a man holding a gold band in his hand. I will admit that I gasped when I saw it, thinking, by the transitive property, that the ring belonged to Jack, but then I remembered there's been a spoiler about Ben giving Jin's wedding ring to Sun. Nice try, promo monkeys, but you will not get my hopes up high just to dash them to the ground!

I'm anticipating that this episode will be very angsty for Jack, Kate, and the whole Lie!Fam lie. But what's exciting is that it seems like we'll get some shippy moments, too. Maybe it'll even be like SNBH in reverse--angst at the beginning, romance toward the end. I would surely appreciate that.

Finally, I would just like to point out some quotes that came out today from Evangeline Lilly and Josh Holloway. In the SkyOne thing that everyone's been talking about today, Evie said she thinks Kate will end up with Jack and Josh said he thinks Kate should end up with Jack.

What would be awesome is if somehow this season we could just get the answer to the triangle question--that even Matthew Fox wanted to know the answer to--definitively. Then I could survive some Skate interaction in the latter half of season five or in season six. Because I'd know how it would turn out. Or, conversely, I'd know that I could comfortably stop watching the show.

I'm pretty sure we're right, though, Jaters. You know how being a Lost shipper is a little like being bipolar, where one day you're so convinced you're right and the next you've resigned yourself to the fact that you're probably wrong? Well, I've been having a lot of good days lately, encouraged by everything being said by the producers, the news that Sawyer has two non-Austen love interests this season (yay! I'll ship them both!), and the concrete Lost information that's been coming out.

But check in with me tomorrow. I might need a hug.

Lost: Closer and Closer to Saying It Out Loud...

According to one of Dark's sources, an upcoming episode features (avert your eyes, spoiler-free folks!) Aaron and Ji Yeon on the island twenty years from now.

This means they are doing some flash-forwards; the storytelling is taking a futuristic bend.

That casting notice that went out a few weeks ago? It could be...

Here's the thing.

It's so specific. Two to four years old, Caucasian, girl, brown hair, brown eyes.

Why so specific? Seriously, please tell me any reasons why the show would be specific about eye color. I just did a scroll through Dark's "casting" tag, and only found one other notice--out of probably about two dozen--that specified eye color. And that one didn't specify hair color. Basically, this has the most appearance specificity of any notice that's gone out for all of season five so far.

Now, Desmond and Penny both have brown eyes, but they also both have sandier colored hair. Which is not to say that this little girl couldn't be Desmond and Penny's OTProgeny, it's just that I don't really understand why they'd be so specific about her hair color, if that was the case.

She could also be, as some people in the comments over at Dark have suggested, Little Kate. Except this doesn't seem very likely for a couple of reasons. #1: We seem to be kind of done with traditional flashbacks. We are going to see Little Sayid, though, so that's a kick in the face for my logic there. #2: I would normally expect an episode involving Little Kate to involve lots of Little Kates, in the style of "Cabin Fever." There were no similar notices.

She could be a lot of things.

My brain is working overtime to try and figure it out. Because half of my brain is saying "She could be ANYONE" and the other half is saying "Who else could she POSSIBLY be?"

I'm still not ready to say it out loud, and if this kid turns out to be Baby Widmore-Hume or Little Kate or Child #4, I'll deny ever having thought the things I'm thinking. Because I'm not thinking them.

Bones: But What Does It Mean?

If you haven't seen the sweet-as-sugar episode capper to "Fire in the Ice," you should do that right now. In fact--

(Thanks, 206_bones!)

I mean, I just...I've watched this scene about thirty times so far. Every time, I'm like, "Okay, this time I'm just going to focus on Booth." "Okay, this time I'm just going to focus on Brennan." "Okay, this time I'm just going to focus on Booth's hands."

I love everything about the scene--him watching her with adoration and awe, her grasping his arm with both hands, him steadying her by holding onto her hips. We knew this scene would be romantic when we first heard the words "ice rink" and "disco ball," but I'm not sure I was prepared for just how wonderful it would be.

At first glance, it's just about the most romantic thing we've ever seen.

And then, as we so often do, we paid a little too much attention to the dialogue and got confused.

Because what does Booth mean when he says, "You know what? Forget about Agent Perrotta. All right? Nothing's gonna change between me and you."

Courtesy of Leigh and me, here are some possible translations:

1. The OMGLOVEYOU Variation: "Yeah, I've been thinking about hitting that. But now I'm here with you and you're so freakin' adorable and sweet and just...everything. Agent Perrotta is so not worth messing with this."

2. The Stop Feeling Threatened Variation: "I know what you're trying to say, and I get it. You're feeling a little threatened. And I'm telling you, forget about Agent Perrotta. That's not happening. I have everything I need right here."

3. The We'll Be Okay Variation: "Yeah, listen, I'm working on that. People have needs. But not matter what happens with her, it doesn't change the way I feel about you."

4. The Partners Forever Variation: "Okay, seriously? Forget about her. I want to be out in the field with you. I want to work with you. That's it. Don't worry."

Ultimately, we think the Bones writers don't really write dialogue that's meant to be overanalyzed.

If anything, we think it was a slight admission by Booth that he's a patient guy. He may have to wait a while for her to figure out that she wants the whole package, but he's really okay with what they have right now. He can tell her secrets, and she doesn't make fun of him or call him stupid. She's supportive and trusting (Hello! Knives!) and she's figured out how to make him calm, happy, and content. She's enough.

Notice how she brings up Perrotta with a hint of nervousness. Seems like she threw out that "You're the only FBI agent I want to work with" in an attempt to get reassurance that he wasn't going to mess with their team. (In this respect, he definitely succeeded in reassuring her.)

Over the course of their conversation on the ice, Booth seems to realize what was going on and allays her fears.

It doesn't say much about what, if anything, he was trying to accomplish with the flirting with Perrotta, Leigh noted, but maybe the last scene was also meant to cancel all that crap out, including that conversation Brennan had with Perrotta about the twinkly eyes.

Because seriously, no twinkly eyes that Booth has ever made in his life compare to the twinkly eyes he makes at Brennan. It's ridiculous.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Bones: Fall Semester Report Card

Ok. So I'm holding my breath that nothing else comes up to pre-empt Bones, again. Now that everything is back to being shown in its proper order, and my blood pressure is back to normal, let's stay on track, please. I don't like change!

As we head into the spring semester, I think it's about time to grade the fall semester, no?

Brennan is getting it. More on that later.

The updated credits. Great mixture of old and new scenes. Just enough flash. Also? That theme song still kicks ass. For the 30 seconds it comes on my iPod at the gym, I'll admit, I run a bit faster.

The Founding Fathers bar. Sure it's only been in one episode but it was a damn good one. Having a bar means flashing back to the days of sweet moments and shippy-eyed gazes over drinks. And thank god we don't have to worry about anyone slipping back into alcoholism. I don't need that on more of my shows. Thanks.

Needs Improvement:
Brennan had asked Cam to hire another full time forensic anthropologist so she could "aim Agent Booth in the right direction" and spend more time with him in the field but I miss moments of Booth and Brennan being in the lab with everyone else. As much as I like the amount of B/B screen time, there seems to be a divide between the lab and the field that didn't exist before. I miss the days when they would all stand around on the forensic platform and shout out ideas, do re-enactments and make inappropriate comments. There have been a few scenes -- but not nearly enough. Booth hasn't had much interaction with the other squints or the interns of the week. Brennan doesn't interact much with the interns either, even though they are hers.

That being said...

Let's lose the intern of the week. It was funny for a couple weeks but I'm over it. Either pick a new intern (Clark!!!) or get Zack out of jail since it was casually thrown in that he didn't actually kill anyone or commit ANY type of crime. Pick what you want. Just fix it.

Working With Others:
I'd like to thank Con Man In The Meth Lab and the end of Man In The Outhouse for being the source of most of the relationship progression as the B's continue to get closer and closer to the inevitable. Even Emily admitted it in a recent Fox TCA interview.

As I mentioned before, Brennan is starting to get it. The puzzle pieces are starting to assemble. There continue to be times where, just for a moment, she sees Booth in a different light. Then, with something as simple as, " dad drank", the ever-guarded Booth made an effort to let her in and they found new ways to strengthen their connection.

Caroline made the observation that the reason why we haven't gone batshit crazy yet is because the B's aren't tortured by not being together. But the hugs, semi-sexual chiropractic care, an attempt at a librarian fantasy, cake at a bus stop and Booth's memorization of Brennan's book reviews have also helped to placate me during the fall semester. David and Emily's chemistry goes a long, long way.

I feel like I should have more to comment on -- but I really don't. The fall semester seemed to be one of those "things happened but nothing really happened" type deals.

Particularly Notable:
"I'd like to make a toast to my partner, Seeley Booth. I know who he is but I forget sometimes because -- because he never shines a light on himself. He shines it on other people. Anthropology teaches us that the alpha male is the man wearing the crown, displaying the most colorful plumage and the shiniest bobbles -- he stands out from the others but I now think that anthropology may have it wrong. In working with Booth, I've come to realize that the quiet man, the invisible man, the man who is always there for friends and family -- that's the real alpha male. And I promise that my eyes will never be caught by those shiny bobbles again."

Brennan thinks anthropology may have gotten it wrong. Come again? That's like Newton rethinking that whole gravity idea he had.

Looking Forward To:
Short term: Isn't it obvious? Hero In The Hold and Fire In The Ice. Come on. I don't think I need to expand further, do I?

Long term: Honestly, with all of the information pouring out about events coming up in the spring semester, it's tough to pick one particular thing to look forward to. Sure there's one thing us fangirls are all looking forward to but with the absurd amount of anvils Hart & Co. are dropping and the confirmation of some HUGE events that will be taking place, I'm ready for class to begin.

Overall Grade:
I'd say a solid B. Only 2 episodes this season have really blown me away from start to finish. David and Emily's chemistry along with a number of A+ scenes have helped but not enough to warrant an A grade.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Twittering the Lost Season Premiere!


I created a Twitter account forty-five seconds ago.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


In the past week, I have moved apartments (no more traffic noise ruining podcasts from ten stories below!), started a new job, housebroken my dog Freckles, met Ben Affleck and Josh Groban (one's a douchebag and the other is not), hosted five guests for three nights of inauguration festivities, and flirted with the bartender at a party at my boss's house.

Big week, people. Big. Week.

And at the end of it all, now that my houseguests have vacated the premises, the tourists are filing out (no offense to any of you who may have visited the D.C. area), and my romantic relationships with both Mr. Groban and with the guy who made me three margaritas and two tequila shots are going nowhere, I'm so pleased to have so much hope and change to look forward to.

No, not the new president, who I blame for this utterly claustrophobic week.

That's right, everybody.

Lost premieres tonight.

As we venture into the unknowns of war (Hostiles vs. DHARMA vs. Left Behinders?), financial crisis (what the hell's going on with Charles Widmore?), and some serious climate change (the island freaking MOVED!), I'm offering up a few words to our favorite castaways.

Please make good choices.

Please be coherent.

And please, for crying out loud, end the triangle.

Bring it on, bitches. I'm ready to rock this season!

I'm going to sleep now--I have the feeling tomorrow's gonna be a late one--and I'll leave you with this delightful tidbit from Ausiello:

Question: Lost? Anything? -- Bia
Ausiello: Sawyer and a female character whose name isn't Kate will make out this season.

Grey's Anatomy: Derek Has a Ring. Oh, No.

The big Grey's news right now--at least for MerDer fans--is that McDreamy has a ring.

He has a ring, y'all!! The family heirloom, given to Derek by his approving mother, was maybe the last push he needs to convince himself that, yes, Meredith is the one. I feel like his half of their journey has been in reconciling the fact that it feels right, it just hasn't always functioned right. Having Carolyn Shepherd voice her opinion that Meredith is The One--and who saw that one coming? Not me--had to have felt like such validation to Derek.

He got all teary when his mom said, "She's the one," immediately responding with a watery "Yeah."

Here, we see that an upcoming episode will show Derek taking steps toward an engagement: "Now that Derek has the engagement ring, he searches for the perfect way to propose to Meredith."

So, MerDer shippers should be feeling pretty good right about now. Ring in hand, things definitely seem to be looking up for Derek and Meredith. In this promo, we even see Derek showing the heirloom ring to Cristina:

At first glance, it's all OMGSQUEE.

And then, I recalled this.

Susan: Oh, wow. That is a nice rock.
Carter: It was my great-grandmother's. My great-grandfather gave it to her the day he left for the army.
Susan: You know, I don't think she'll mind that it's second-hand.

And then, I recalled this.

And then, I recalled this.

This is the face I make every day in response to Carby woe.

So I refuse to get my hopes up on Derek and Meredith getting engaged. Because even though we have this picture of what looks like McDreamy preparing for a McProposal, we also have a picture of him holding the telephone and looking shocked/confused/disappointed.

That said, proposals NEVER go as planned, even the ones that eventually work out.

Chandler and Monica's hopes looked dashed right up until they finally proposed to each other. My shock at The Office's season four ending without a Jam engagement was far smaller than my shock at its fifth season starting with a Jam engagement. So just because I'm confident that the first MerDer proposal won't take (because there's no way it's going to be that easy), it doesn't necessarily have to spell doom and gloom.

Or you can believe TV Guide.

Yesterday at the nail salon I picked up the Evangeline Lilly issue of TV Guide, which--in addition to featuring some gorgeous pictures of Evie--had a little teaser of the upcoming Grey's Anatomy/Private Practice crossover dealio. Apparently it involves Addison's brother having a brain condition, so Addie, Archer, Sam, and Naomi road trip to Seattle, assumedly to get help from Dr. Ex Husband.

(Could this be the shocking phone call Derek gets that interrupts his proposal plans? The timing seems right.)

Now, that's not the most interesting part of the story. The interesting part is that the article refers to Derek as Meredith's "fiance."

Obviously, this could just be a slip-up. Live-in boyfriend, fiance--same difference, right?

The rest of the snippet, though, seems to insinuate that the writer had seen at least some of the crossover material. Is it possible that TV Guide let slip something that we weren't supposed to know? Like that Derek and Meredith are already engaged by that point?

I'm not really sure. I would be delighted to see them get engaged during February sweeps, but it just doesn't feel like they've been on a long enough "together" trajectory for that to really be feasible.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Bones: Fox Gets Scheduling Correct; In Other News, Pigs Fly, Hell Freezes Over

Okay, first of all, sorry for my absence. I've only really been remiss in blogging; my eyes and ears have not strayed far from the rumor mill. So much has been leaked since my last post, I just haven't found a free half hour to post.

Seriously, I have so much to talk about, I could do nonstop blogging until next Wednesday and not say everything there is to say.

So, in a bizarre series of events leading back to President Bush's Farewell Address, Bones will indeed be airing in the originally-intended order: "Double Trouble in the Panhandle," "Fire in the Ice," "Hero in the Hold."

Excuse me while I do a dance of joy.

We did a few posts on the ridiculousness of the out-or-order airing, which would have made it "Panhandle," "Hero," and "Fire." Basically, "Fire in the Ice" introduces Agent Payton Perrotta, who comes on with eyes for Booth and therefore a significant bias against her. In "Hero in the Hold," she's around, helping Brennan solve the case. So, wouldn't it be weird for her to help our team save Booth in "Hero" and then the very next week, it's, like, "Here's this new agent, Booth. She's investigating you for murder."

Um, awkward.

The inevitable payoff of awesome in "Hero in the Hold" is all the more awesome if it comes after they go through the initial "Fire in the Ice" mumbo jumbo; I'd be a little crushed if Booth has monumental progress with Brennan in "Hero" and then gets all flirty-flirty with this new girl the very next week.

So what happened is Bush pushed "Panhandle" off the schedule this week. Fox tried to compensate by airing two episodes next week, initially announcing it would be "Panhandle" and "Hero," in its original air schedule--not its original writing or production schedule. But then it seems like somebody thought twice, realizing that "Hero in the Hold" is too big to (A) not promote the hell out of it and (B) not to air during February sweeps.

So while I'm disappointed that we'll be waiting a little longer for "Hero," I'm glad that everything's in the right order and that we're finally going to get to see "Fire in the Ice," in which Booth and Brennan take to the ice and have a (romantic?) skating session. It's maybe our favorite anvil, and the girls of Chaos in General have been waiting rather impatiently for this episode since we saw the sides last year.

Well done, Fox, well done.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Lost: Press Needs Re-Packaging

I'm reading the latest TV Guide, the interview with Evangeline Lilly where she declares she was unhappy with her handling her first two years and she's weird and loud and, oh yeah, she's, liek, omg, that Sawyer's alive! As a rational human being, I rationalized that, of course she's going to look like she's seen a ghost when she sees someone she thought was dead is not actually dead. As a rational human being, I also rationalized that she's going to have this reaction to, oh, I don't know, everyone ELSE on the island she thought was dead too.

And that's when I became an irate (not irrational, that takes the real world to accomplish) human being, quite concerned with the state of journalism. Apparently to the average journalist, with Lost, the "must read" important stuff is about Sawyer. Sawyer? Really? There was nothing else to ask about? Nothing at all? Something, maybe, relating Kate to the plot of the show…

Let's review for a moment, to clarify the ridiculousness of the situation. Kate managed to get off the island that disappeared into the water leaving her to understand that her friends are dead. Off the island she raised a child that wasn't her own, she did it mostly on her own (let's ignore for a moment that Jack was there a good portion of that time), she went on trial for the murder of her father and got away with it, and then there's that little tiny insignificant side story in which she, you know, GOT ENGAGED TO JACK.

But let's ask, "Hey, Evi, what's it like when Kate finally sees Sawyer again!"

And let's ask it as though it were important. Because this is an important interview. It's an interview leading up to the premier, which means it's what you want to use to get people's attention towards Lost. You want people to see this leading lady so you write an interview in which she's kind of shunning her fans, eschewing Hollywood, and giving a quote about Sawyer, implying that the most important thing coming up this season is how she'll feel when she sees this shirtless hick bounce out of the jungle.

I'm so glad TV Guide watches Lost, that they pay attention to the details. Whether Sawyer's left nipple is higher than his right, and how the droop of his shoulders matches the droop of his pants. The important stuff. In his honor I'm going to recap some of his astounding accomplishments thus far.

1. Encouraged Jack to happily steal from people; they're "in the wild" afterall.

2. Opened a convenience store of necessities, and enabled a bartering system of stolen goods!

3. To boost morale, he gave everyone fun nicknames they'll cherish for life.

4. Started a bar, one-upping actual psychological help with a prescription for alcoholism.

5. Engaged in combat with the enemy to put his 'death wish' into action. (Because he ain't no Hero.)

6. Facilitated "Girls Gone Wild: Others Edition" in the name of consoling a victim of mental breakdown.

7. Offered himself as a gigolo to emotionally distraught women.

8. Entertained a criminal with prose before executing him, totally ethically, with a rusty chain.

9. Hopping out of a helicopter to make sure Jack doesn't (which would have been followed by Kate).

10. Soothing a woman with booze and his shirtless self.

If he's lucky he gets an actual storyline this season; if he's really lucky, he doesn't get saddled with the triangle again, and if we're lucky, he'll get locked in a basement for two years so we can get some REAL press on Lost. Press that can ask Evangeline Lilly some decent questions. I'll provide some as examples.

1. What were Kate's feelings regarding leaving the island and leaving everyone else behind?

2. Was she resentful towards Jack for any period of time for this?

3. How did it affect her relationships with the rest of the Oceanic Six?

4. How did you see Kate's life in that time between Hurley's party and Kate's trial, specifically the time during which she and Jack were separated and she had to cope with being a single mother?

5. What motivation would be necessary for Kate to consider returning to the island, taking Aaron with her (or possibly leaving him behind)?

6. Returning to the island requires a reuniting of the Oceanic Six, who seem to have drifted apart in the time after getting to the mainland, how will this reuniting as people who have now spent five years back on the mainland apart affect their relationships with one another.

7. How will it affect their relationship with the people they're going to be returning to on the island?

Heaven forbid they ask her questions with any kind of substance. Something that might give us some insight into the coming season, seeing as this was supposed to be a lead-in article to the show's return. With the door open to a broad spectrum of questions and topics (including her upcoming movies) brought up during the interview, it's saddening that the only thing they could ask about Lost was how Kate reacts to seeing Sawyer again.

Sadder still is thinking she was asked better questions, but the answer they chose to include was the one about a character who has, up until now, been mostly set decoration. Maybe Evi should consider these things the next time she chooses to proclaim she dislikes how she's being "packaged" by her 'handlers' because the media's packaging of her has been far worse.

Lost: Won't Even Allow Myself to Type This One

Lost is currently looking for a 2 to 4 year old, brown haired, brown eyed little Caucasian girl.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Mid-Season Report Card: House

Show: House.

Excels At: Uh, winning the People's Choice Award for Favorite TV Drama despite consistently-falling ratings and endless bitching/moaning from loyal fans, apparently. It boggles the mind. Oh, and also: being a constant disappointment.

Needs Improvement: How much time have we got? Sigh. Although the overwhelming focus on Thirteen seems to be subsiding slowly as the episodes have gone on, it's perhaps too little, too late. I (as well as many, many others) am already far too sick of her. That having been said, she's charmingly delightful and enjoyable when relegated to her rightful place on the sidelines with the other newbies. Let's do more of that - I find myself paying more attention to her when she's barely there as opposed to when she's there in almost every scene. Which is practically every episode. So, ya know, let's do something about that. Also, the House/Cuddy relationship (which we'll get to momentarily) was and still could be thoroughly enjoyable, but now it's starting to feel like it's being shoved down my throat just as painfully as Thirteen was in the beginning. Learn to lay off a little. There's something great to be said for a slow build when hoping to get people connected with a character/pairing. Less really can be much, much more.

On an even bigger level, the focus on House/Cuddy & all things Thirteen is severely detracting from any efforts to put some focus on Wilson, Taub, Kutner, Chase and Cameron. Wilson is back to being nothing more than House's conscience, which is maybe okay since Robert Sean Leonard prefers to work as little as possible anyway, but "House's Head/Wilson's Heart" was one of the greatest pieces of television ever - I'd like to see more Wilson exploration. And Foreman's getting his just desserts now with the Huntington's drug trial and (gag me) his budding romance with (gag me) Thirteen. But Kutner and Taub basically run around like the new bossom buddies--and wildly crack me up in the process, mind you--who we rarely learn anything worthwhile about at all. And Chase and Cameron are still (still!) nothing more than glorified guest stars who pop in for a cameo once or twice each week. If even that much.

The point here? Share the screentime wealth. This is an ensemble show. Yes, it's basically about House, but it's still an ensemble. You've been promising character integration and equal story time for over a year now--time for some follow through! Oh, and get rid of the new and absolutely irritating 6-act format. Too many commercial breaks makes it almost impossible to really get invested in an episode.

Interpersonal Dynamics: New to the fold is Foreman/Thirteen - better known as the cheeky "Foreteen." Truth be told, this pairing could end up being pretty interesting if done properly. And doing it properly means taking the advice given above: slow and steady wins the race. Do not shove these two down my throat, okay? I'm sick of Thirteen enough as it is, and I've never really been very fond of Foreman. You're walking a fine line of "incredibly, unbearably boring" with this pairing, but... maybe two characters who are dreadful on their own could end up being kind of interesting together. The other new development (sort of) is House/Cuddy. This has been building for years--since practically the Pilot. It needs to be explored, like it or not, if only to be able to say "been there, tried that, it didn't work." I have nothing against this pairing, beyond what I stated earlier about Bogarting the screentime, but I still don't think it's really possible for this "couple" to become anything serious; if for no other reason than that I can't imagine House ever being in a long term, serious relationship again. Unless Stacy comes back. Which would be totally okay with me.

And, of course (did you think I would not mention them?), there's Chase/Cameron. It's great that we finally got more insight into their relationship with "The Itch," but even that was just the tip of the iceberg. And it's nice that most of their cameo appearances lately have been in scenes together, since that was a rare occurrence last season & at the start of this one, but we're still being neglected of practically anything that establishes them as anything more than friends/colleagues. These two have been in a canon, committed relationship for over a year and a half now--if you want to bring romance back into the fold of the show (which you seem to, with all of the Foreteen/Huddy action lately), then try doing so with the established relationship you've been neglecting since practically the moment they became an established relationship.

Particularly Notable: Chase steals the show every week, and he typically only has one scene. Sometimes only one or two lines in that singular scene. But Jesse Spencer has become surprisingly adept at facial expressions and line delivery--he was always pretty good at his quick quips, but lately it's been insanely perfect. The character of Chase is vastly different in attitude than the pansy-ass brown-noser that he used to be (despite knowing, and loving, that he still has a romantic soft spot inside), but this self-sufficient, rebellious, snarky-little-bastard version of Robert Chase is much, much more entertaining. In the words of Cameron, "I like him better like this. You?"

Also notable, for the record, was the morgue scene at the end of "Let Them Eat Cake." I have not laughed at this show that loud or that hard in a very long time. And I doubt I'll ever get tired of watching Kutner and Taub scream like little girls.

Pay Attention To: The possibility for ethical dilemmas in the "Foreteen" relationship. Word is, Foreman's going to compromise ethics to make sure Thirteen gets the real drugs in the trial instead of the placebo. I've got good money on the probability that he'll find himself fired for it soon. It's also bound to get under House's skin, finding out that his attending is dating their subordinate--fun antics are surely in store when House starts trying to ruin their relationship, which I'm certain he will.

Next Semester: The upcoming boss!Cam story. Although I do think it's probably just temporary, there's another part of me that's certain Cuddy's baby is permanent and is also the much-touted "show-altering change" that we were told was coming. Perhaps she's show-altering in more ways than just her existence--perhaps this change between Cuddy & Cameron isn't all that temporary after all. And even if it is, the boss!Cam plot holds far too many awesome possibilities of exploration for it to not end up having a tremendous affect. DON'T SCREW IT UP. Oh, and, for chrissake, give Chase his own story arc already!

To make a long story short, just... stop telling your fans that we don't know what we need. You disregarded our opinions and demands for the past 18+ months, and your ratings are still tanking--I don't care what the PCA's say. Listen to your audience. Try it our way now.

Overall Grade: C.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Mid-Season Report Card: Private Practice

Show: Private Practice.

Excels At: Not much. Reminding me that Party of Five is one of my all-time favorite shows?

Needs Improvement: Like Party of Five, Private Practice makes every episode into a Very Special Episode, in which some Big Issue is tackled by Addison and her team. This season alone, the Oceanside Wellness Group has dealt with polygamy, abortion, pedophilia, meth babies, revirginization, accidentally married siblings, prostitution, unwanted life support, HIV responsibilities, getting pregnant for the cord blood, pregnancy among the terminally ill, assisted suicide, kidnapping by parent, pregnancy among the comatose, and the economy. Unnecessary and poorly executed! This tactic never fails to come across as heavy-handed and ingenuine. And even though I usually agree with Addison, she usually seems like a militant bitch. At least Party of Five had a little humor (whether intentional or not), that precocious Claudia Salinger, and lots of amazing mid-90's flannel.

My friend Lily says that the problem with Private Practice is that their problems are those of people in their 40's, which we have trouble relating to.

Interpersonal Dynamics: I despise all of the ships on this show. From the beginning, the show told us we'd be rooting for Cooper/Violet, Addison/Pete, and, to a lesser extent, Sam/Naomi. Right now, we're enduring Cooper/Charlotte (ugh), Addison/Kevin (double ugh), maybe Addison "Monty"/Wyatt (interesting, but ugh for right now), Violet/Pete (just nasty), Pete/Meg (doomed but still ugh), Violet/Sheldon (SO ugh), and, for at least that one episode, Naomi/Archer Montgomery (gross).

For some reason, all of the characters on this show just come across as pathetic when it comes to their love lives generally.

Particularly Notable: Dell just generally sucks hard. That whole daughter with the meth addict thing was one big eyeroll.

Pay Attention To: Dr. Wyatt Lockhart. First of all, we all know the deal with nicknames. What's more, he's got a look about him I like, and he's definitely not wooing Addison in the "traditional" way. Although, of course, this is television, so I totally see where he's coming from--the smarmy jackass.

Next Semester: Grow up, calm down, and do your jobs. Writers, please realize that we don't love these characters the same way we love the guys at Seattle Grace. Stop making them do such unlovable things.

Overall Grade: C-.

Lost: Break's Over. Time to Get Back to Work.

It's a funny thing, my relationship with this show.

I've said it here many times that my first feeling once "There's No Place Like Home" ended was absolute relief. I was thrilled to have nine months of freedom, because any Lost fan will tell you that it's nothing if not exhausting. Constantly scouring the internet for spoilers, speed-texting Mae to analyze released promo pics, getting wrapped up in the nuance of how Darlton (or anyone, really!) describes the development of the Jack/Kate/Sawyer love triangle--it's the most tiring thing I can think of.

As the months have worn on, I've begun to get more and more excited and geared up for the premiere of season five. In early fall, I was starting to jones for new information, ready to see new footage of my people. When I found a minute-long Jack/Kate deleted scene from "The 23rd Psalm," I got teary-eyed. And when that first new promo aired, I made a fool of myself in the computer lab of the student union and school.

Now, though, as we get our first real, tangible information for the first couple of episodes, I'm finding myself filled with a new emotion: dread.

As excited as I am to pick back up with my favorite castaways--including, for the first time ever, Juliet and Sawyer--I find myself less than thrilled to get back into the grind of being terrified of Skate, disappointed by Jateless episodes, and worried about the fate of Jack Shephard.

The Lost season is both my favorite and least favorite time of year.

Over the holiday break--or, at least, my perhaps-too-lengthy holiday break--screeners for the first two episodes went out to the press. I've read every review, every hint posted over at DarkUFO's spoiler page, and analyzed every tidbit of information.

That's the most frustrating part about being a spoiler whore--when other people have information and I don't. My jealousy is palpable.

It's also really difficult to piece together the nuances and biases of different reporters. For instance, I'm really interested to hear about what's going on with Suliet. One reporter insinuated that some scenes suggest that the show is leading up to that; another said there was nothing between them that could be considered romantic.

The thing about this show is that they could both be right. There are probably elements of these episodes that suggest that there could be a future for Sawyer and Juliet, but if you're not looking to ship them (i.e. you're a Skater or a noromo), you'll probably be able to disregard whatever they do.

There are a few other highlights from the spoilers I'd like to hit. There are generally way too many to even try to summarize them, but if you want to be spoiled, head over to Dark's website, because he's got lots of good info. (That said, I still have no idea what's going on.)

The most intriguing spoiler I've heard so far is that Daniel, traveling back in time, meets Desmond on the island. (Constant, indeed.) Desmond has no idea who Daniel is, and from the sound of things, Daniel has a hell of a time trying to explain the situation. Now, Darlton has said a few times that you can't pull a back to the future scenario and change the present by fiddling with the past. But unless we're creating parallel universes here or something, why wouldn't Desmond have remembered Daniel upon their first meeting last season?

Ugh time travel.

We also know now that, despite my hope, we're not picking up three years later on the island. We're picking up in the days following moving the island. Now, this bodes well for 108 Days in 108 Days 2009-2010, my upcoming pre-season-six hiatus project, but really confuses the crap out of me when it comes to reconciling "real world" time with island time. Because I'm going to be really irritated if the Oceanic Six spends three years off-island, and when they get back, Rose is like, "Wow, Jack! I've missed you these last two weeks!" or whatever. And how would that even work with Aaron? All of a sudden, after a couple weeks apart, he suddenly looks like a kid and has gained motor skills and the power of speech? Now, we've had moments of somewhat-clarity about the difference between these times, notably when Daniel conducted the "fire the payload" experiment last season. But they've got to figure out how they're going to deal with the discrepancy between the Oceanic Six being in 2008 and the islanders being in 2005. And somehow, I don't care how, I want the three-year difference to positively affect the relationship between Sawyer and Juliet.

Another exciting element is that apparently the season opens on the island, with a scene that features Pierre Chang and perhaps Daniel and/or the mysterious crying Chang baby. No details, but that's definitely interesting. Here's hoping this sheds a little light on the Dharma Initiative and/or the island and/or time traveling and/or the incident.

Okay, and another thing. Kristin dos Santos says that Ben "seems to imply" that if the Oceanic Six return to the island, then that's that. They'll never be able to escape it again. First of all, Kristin used the word "seems," which says that it's her own perception, and I wouldn't trust her perception to tell me whether or not it's raining outside. Still, this seems plausible, especially since after all this, can you really imagine the series ending with everybody off the island?

I have but one problem with this scenario.

I. Want. Jabies.

So somebody better start working on the Pregnant Women Death Vaccine, because Jack and Kate, after all this junk with Aaron, need a child of their own.

So I was thinking, and you know that whole mysterious business about where Charlotte was born and maybe she was born on the island but we don't really know? Well, I wonder, how could Charlotte have been born on the island? Was it a situation like Rousseau or Claire, where her mom arrived pregnant and merely gave birth to her on-island, or does Charlotte perhaps hold the key to the Pregnant Women Death Vaccine?

I would really appreciate that, thank you.

At the end of the day, we know a lot of stuff about the premiere--and we still know nothing. Yep, sounds like Lost.

In other (sort-of) Lost-related news, I have a new puppy named Freckles. Despite her name, she is already a Jater.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Mid-Season Report Card: Grey's Anatomy

Show: Grey's Anatomy.

Excels At: Piling on the romance nice and thick, even if it's not always the specific romance one wants to see. You're a dream show for a 'shipper, really, because there's always some pairing going on for us to love, hate, hate to love, or love to hate. And there's typically more than one happening at the same time. The multi-tasking of relationships provides us with a plethora of choices. Don't want to watch Derek and Meredith? Have some Alex and Izzie. Don't like Alex and Izzie? Come play with Mark and Callie. Still not interested? Here's George and Lexie. Or George and Izzie. Or George and Callie. Or George and Meredith. No matter what, someone is always hooking up, breaking up or making up.

Needs Improvement: Your new interns are becoming about as annoying as the new fellows on House, and - save for the wonder of Lexipedia - they are pretty much just taking up precious screen time. Sadie has got to go. No, really. It's impossible to think about anything other than NSC/Covenant double-agents and treacherous, murderous wives when Melissa George is on the screen, and Sadie seems like nothing more than an attempt at shock-and-awe television to me. Her antics are not at all entertaining. On the contrary, they're eyeroll-worthy and (again) using up precious screen time while others are suddenly being ignored. Which brings me to...

Interpersonal Dynamics: Apparently having Derek & Meredith "happy together for good" translates to Shonda Rhimes as "completely uninteresting and incapable of being story-worthy anymore." We want to see our OTP actually being happy in their relationship - not just hear about it every once in a while. Show them starting to build the house, enjoying life now that they live together. Show them dealing with external forces of angst that involve moments of supporting each other instead of moments of fighting until they break up again. The other amazing relationship development so far this season has been the return of the Izzie/Alex romance. I was so excited and thrilled to finally see that explored again with more fervor. Keep moving forward with them - but ghost!Denny has got to go. Immediately. If this is going to lead to Alex & Izzie being closer and even more in love, then I will probably accept it in the end. So long as that end is very, very near.

Cristina and Hunt is a completely adorable and interesting development. Mark and Lexie is a completely creepy and unlikable one, though. Callie just lost Hahn, not long after losing George, and Mark has been her touchstone through it all. Let's get back to that dynamic instead, and let Lexie play with George for a while. Or meet a lovely young intern in her own class.

Particularly Notable:
My favorite moment so far this season has been from "Brave New World," when Miranda Bailey jumped in during a rough streak of nonsense, boredom and disinterest to spout out a monologue about the undiscovered country of the va-jay-jay and bring the show back to life. I laughed so loud and so thoroughly, I completely forgot how bored I was with this show for a while. Bailey is definitely the MVP of this first semester.

Pay Attention To:
Mark and Lexie, who are sure to end up causing major waves of drama once Derek and Meredith find out about them. And, as much as it annoys me, the ghost of Denny is surely setting us up for some totally incredible Alex/Izzie plot that may go down in the books as one of the best romantic twists ever. It's just a hunch, but I've had my eye on those two since day one - something screams that this is their year.

Next Semester:
The Derek/Meredith romance needs to come out of hibernation. Let's get back to focusing on the basics, here. More relationships - both romantic and friendly - instead of so many crazy antics and jump-the-shark-esque twists. You sucked us in initially with the character interactions, and that's still why we're sticking around. Flooded hospitals don't do much for me if it doesn't lead to any major relationship developments. Love is all you need. Listen to Lennon, kids.

Overall Grade: A solid B+.