Monday, November 24, 2008

Lost: Call Sheet Spoilers! (At Least I'm Not the Only One Who's Massively Confused)

My new best friend Jodie got her hands on a Lost call sheet for 5x04, “The Little Prince.” It does look like, as I specced several weeks ago, the title will refer to Aaron. The call sheet is chock-full of tiny tidbits and massive confusion. Let’s go quote-by-quote and talk about this.

“Ben admits he’s the one trying to take Aaron.”

Um, okay. Aaron is special, no? And Ben is really good at kidnapping babies. I would love to see someone verbalize the irony of Kate passing off Aaron as her own, when we’ve been told for so long that Ben taking Alex was super-bad. You know me, the Jater, wants to see Kate and Jack as Protective Mom and Dad here. We do have a note that “Kate is having it out with Ben” in one scene, so obviously Kate’s got a problem with Mr. Linus trying to take her kid. I get that.

Gosh, it’s times like this when you really understand why Scully gave William up for adoption, huh?

“Jack needs to see Kate.”

That’s all we know about this scene, other than that it’s filmed in the parking lot of St. Sebastian’s. By this point, will they be on good enough terms that he can call her up and she’ll meet him at the airport without a big to-do?

“Jack resigns.”

Well, yeah. Going on A-Missions is like a full-time job, Dr. Shephard. Oh! And I also realized that this means that Jack didn’t get fired. Which I think insinuates he’s back on the wagon by this point, because he should have gotten fired for stealing all those meds and being high on the job. Snaps for Jack.

“Sawyer sees Kate helping Claire give birth.”

I don’t pretend to understand what this means. Obviously, ugh, Skate, but I’m really curious about the nature of these flashes. (Definitely odd, considering Sawyer wasn’t present for Aaron’s birth—Charlie and Jin were—so it’s not like this is a typical flashback where we’re supposed to imagine that the character is remembering something.)

And what’s with all the nosebleeds? In this call sheet, we see that both Miles and Juliet get them; the promo shows Charlotte with a bloody nose. We know this started happening to Minkowski when he was time traveling without a constant. So does this insinuate that the left-behinders:

(A) have found a method of time travel and are trying on purpose to use this to save themselves?
(B) have accidentally stumbled across time travel and are effing screwed?
(C) are being terrorized by the Dharma Initiative?
(D) have caught The Sickness?

Obviously, something really wonky is going on here. We’re seeing events that occur post-O6 Rescue, events that occurred in 2004, events all the way back to the Dharma Initiative, and—according to this call sheet—events involving “Young Rousseau” and her team.

Somebody’s traveling through time. Or maybe the whole island is. This is starting to sound like Michael Crichton’s Timeline.

The call sheet stipulates that, while most events take place in 2007—including all of the Oceanic Six scenes—there are happenings in 2001 and 1988.

I’m confused but SO excited.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Lost: Three Minutes of Squee!

I’m sure we’ve all seen it by now, but just in case...


Let’s talk.

You know I have to start with Jate analysis. First off, for an episode so “universally” disliked, “Something Nice Back Home” is featured awfully prominently, what with clips from Jack’s proposal and Jack reading to Aaron.

And even though we can’t identify who Kate spins around to see (at about :25), there’s a lot of Jate insinuated into this video. With careful observation, the person who opens the door for Kate (at 2:28) looks like Sun, but with a flash to Jack in a doorway in the following moment, they’re sure telegraphing the reunion (if not reuniting) of Jack and Kate.


I’m thrilled to see clean-shaven Jack. Though we’ve seen flashes of this in previous promos, I was hesitant to get excited about it since I knew it could just be a flashback. But now, I think we’re going to see Jack get it together in the first couple episodes. I couldn’t be happier.

In fact, the situation I’m conjuring in my mind is one of Jack shaving, getting ready to go confront Kate about going back to the island. He knows Crazy Bearded Jack is going to have a hard time convincing her of anything, so he cleans himself up for her.

Enough about Jate.

Let’s talk about my new favorite ship...

Juliet and Sawyer.

Was I the only one who saw their hands-clasped running through the jungle moment as highly reminiscent of Jack and Kate’s hands-clasped running toward the helicopter moment?

Juliet: “Bernard’s still in his tent!”
Sawyer: “I’m not leaving without you!”


No, seriously—these two have my vote already, and the season hasn’t even started. And I don’t think this is my overactive imagination here. Not only are Sawyer and Juliet running for cover in tandem, but the first (and so far only) promotional shot for season five is this:

Should we read into this? Maybe not, but I’m still going to.

And then there’s Desmond and Penny.

A close-up on Dark’s Web site shows that Penny’s got a ring on that all-important finger, so at least one thing’s working out for them.

And as for the more mysterious business?

I have no idea.

I have no idea what’s going on with Sayid and Hurley, what’s going on with that compass looking all embedded in Locke’s hand, what’s going on with the fire arrows getting shot through the air.

Try me later. Or never. I’m so out of practice with this mytharc.

Bones: Working Under Laboratory Conditions

I am, inexplicably, taking physics this semester. It's my last three weeks of undergrad EVER and I'm in the middle of physics hell. Two-and-a-half hour labs once a week, which would be unbearable if not for constant text message contact with Leigh throughout.

Why would I bring up my dumbass painful physics labs?

Because it reminds me of Bones.

See, the reason why physics labs are so effing stupid is because they rely on assumptions that you just can't make. Like, today, we had to assume that this piece of cording had no mass. Except, hey, guess what, it's not. And even when we do get, say, frictionless tracks for the purpose of simulating a car accident, you can't translate that to the real world because most asphalt highways are not frictionless.

We spend a lot of time here coming up with theories. Will this OTP's baby be a boy or a girl? Who's the next obstacle to come in the way of this ship? What does this upcoming guest star mean for the ensemble? You try to extrapolate that theory to television as a whole: OTPs almost always have girls. A new love interest is about to be introduced for season three. That person's going to mess with our secondary characters.

And yet, when we're watching The Office or Lost or whatever, we get it wrong sometimes. It's hard to predict how Jim and Pam or Jack and Kate or Jack and Locke are going to react to a specific catalyst, and they surprise us a lot of the time.

But Bones--Bones is like working under perfect laboratory conditions at all times.

Bones is delightfully predictable. They use all the formulae (pretend to be married, get put in charge of a baby, get jealous over new love interests) without any kind of deviation. Anvils are their friends.

And I am so grateful for that. Not only because it makes my job here WAY easier, but it also makes for a delightful viewing experience.

Like, Wednesday’s episode was ostensibly all about “improvising.” Lately, Bones episodes have taken themes a little more seriously—not going so far as Grey’s Anatomy, with its “My name is Meredith Grey and this episode is going to be about workplace bullying,” but making a point to have the case overlap with the Booth/Brennan development.

Now, here comes the spoiler section of this post.

“Double Trouble in the Panhandle” seems to have a theme of “trust.” The case is about conjoined twins who—obviously—did everything together; Booth and Brennan have to trust each other while undercover as knife-throwers.

“Fire in the Ice” looks like it’s about “supporting each other.” Brennan has to support Booth and help clear his name from the suspect list; Booth returns the favor by “supporting” Brennan in the closing scene on the ice rink.

Looking thematically, then, what would you say the sides for “The Bones That Foam” suggest?

Because I’m pretty sure there’s a way to read this episode—involving shady used car salesmen—as “being sneaky.”

There’s a scene involving Booth picking up Brennan from the Jeffersonian in a Lamborghini one evening, which seems vaguely date-like, but could also just be, you know, Booth and Brennan being Booth and Brennan.

There’s also a scene in which Booth is interviewing a suspect or a witness or something, who tells the agent that he’s not allowed to date the people he works with. Booth’s response? “Neither are we.”

I would love—love love love—to see Booth and Brennan starting something, only to decide that, either because of bureau policy or because they just don’t want to talk about it publicly, they’d rather keep it under wraps for a while. Thus...being sneaky.

I know it’s a reach, but it almost feels possible, no? Maybe I’ve got my hopes up way too high for “Hero in the Hold.”

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Grey's Anatomy: Give Up the Ghost. No Seriously.

When I signed on for season five of Grey’s Anatomy, I did so with the expectation that it would be the season of Derek and Meredith. I was imagining house-building, family planning, a finale engagement or wedding.

I was wrong.

I’m still so frustrated by producers who think that once a couple gets together for good (whatever that means), they’re officially boring. It’s why I’m still so pleased with Jim and Pam’s relationship on The Office. For so long, I kept waiting for them to break up or cheat on each other or lose trust in their relationship. They manage to still have angst and drama, but, as I told a friend the other day, it’s the angst of Jim and Pam against the world, not Jim and Pam against each other.

Anyway, I guess I overestimated Shonda Rhimes and Grey’s Anatomy again, when I thought they would finally show my OTP in a committed but interesting relationship. Epic fail, so far.

I would be more broken up about it if it wasn’t for one thing: Alex and Izzie.

This has by far been the most delightful surprise of the season—watching Alex grow and be open and honest and serious with Izzie. At the beginning of the season, his attitude was almost intolerable, but I’m so loving where his character is going now.

This? It kills me.

So you know what I’m not loving?

Um, Denny.

Seriously, I thought we were over this a long time ago. We’ve been talking about Izzie getting Denny closure since season three, when Izzie built the clinic. Wasn’t that supposed to be closure? Two weeks ago, when Jeffrey Dean Morgan was on for the second time this season, I broke my keyboard in a moment of squee when Alex replaced Denny in the locker room.

I am so over this storyline. I was over it three years ago. Three years! Izzie and Denny were never convincingly in love, it took him forever to die even though we all knew it was freaking inevitable, and he never did anything to begin with. He was boring! And if you can’t get over it for Alex, who despite his obvious flaws is pretty effing great, then maybe you do need to have McDreamy check your brain out. (I’d be interested to hear Mae and other House fans weigh in on this, as it seems like there could be some parallels here between Izzie, Cameron, their dead fianc├ęs, and their future inability to make good choices.)

For the record, Shonda says Izzie doesn’t have a brain tumor, although it sure felt that way when Denny kept going on and on about how “I’m here for you, Izzie Stevens.”

And it also doesn’t look like that Hahn death rumor was true, although I have to give huge kudos to whoever came up with that rumor ‘cause it was brilliant spec and, frankly, would have been a way more awesome end to that episode.

Basically, I think Grey’s is making all the wrong choices lately. Killing Hahn would have been unsavory—but AWESOME. Especially in the ironic “Hahn is finally able to save her heart patient” way described by the brilliant liar who started that rumor.

Giving Izzie a brain tumor may seem predictable at this point, but it sure sounds better than whatever else they’ve got going around in the writer’s room.

Because here’s what I’ve got.

Denny is playing some kind of bizarre grim reaper role for Izzie.

There are some kind of rules as to the interactions possible between the living and the dead. If you’re alive, you can’t touch dead people. This would be evidenced by the brush-pass Izzie and Denny had in “Some Kind of Miracle” two years ago, right? They could occupy the same space and feel each other’s presence, but they couldn’t actually make hand-to-hand contact.

But if you are somewhere between dead and alive, you can touch them, as evidenced by Meredith being about to touch her mom in “Some Kind of Miracle.”

So if Izzie’s having sex with Denny, we should probably assume that she’s somewhere between dead and alive. Right?

Only here’s the thing.

This is Grey’s Anatomy for crying out loud. You’re not Lost or Pushing Daisies. I don’t want you to have rules about who can and cannot touch dead people. I’m so sick of resurrection I could vomit.

(That was clearly the best sentence I’ve ever written in the history of this blog.)

This storyline—when it ends in five episodes or whatever—needs to have a damn good payoff. Either Izzie needs to finally give up the ghost—literally—and move on from Denny, meaning NO MORE JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN ON THIS SHOW EVER AGAIN, or Izzie Stevens needs to die.

I will not accept anything in between.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Snap!Spec #2: High-Altitude Shenanigans

So we've seen the promo for next week's Bones--some of us, namely me, have seen it about thirty-five times--and we're shocked by how forward Booth is with his sotto voce suggestion that Brennan indulge his sexy librarian fantasy.

If we're entering territory wherein it's okay to be wildly suggestive, then I'll propose:

Somebody makes a mention of the Mile High Club next week.

Snap!Spec #1: An Old OTP and Tonight's 30 Rock

Welcome to a new feature of Chaos in General, where we throw out sometimes-serious, sometimes-silly speculation that would create insanity in my brain if it actually came true. Tonight's is about the fast-approaching episode of 30 Rock, guest-starring Jennifer Aniston:

There is some mention of Greenzo.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Things You Don't Come Back From: The Jared Booth Story

You nervous about tomorrow? Not us.

We’ve seen the new material that came out this morning.

And we’re so not scared anymore than the unthinkable will happen.

Because just like all of us, Hart Hanson and the Bones crew know that there are certain things—like sleeping with your partner’s brother—that you just don’t come back from. That just cannot happen. Because even in fake reality, that’s just going to stir up way too much drama.

Not that we’re afraid of a little drama, mind you.

We’re pro-drama, as long as it’s not too much. So we’re now actually excited about tomorrow’s episode. Because now that we’ve seen the promo and the sneak peeks, we’re confident that Brennan is not going to make an unmentionable choice, but Booth will still be allllll caught up in a delightful tizzy of jealousy.

Another thing.

Those clips this morning showed some marked changes between script and screen.

I got excited when I saw in the sides for Jared Booth that after Booth introduces his brother to Dr. Temperance Brennan, Jared reacts with a hearty “Bones!”

Implying, obviously, that Booth talks about Brennan around his family.

In the sneak peeks, Jared does jump out to greet her with her nickname, but Booth is not happy. In fact, he immediately corrects his brother—“Dr. Brennan.”

In a sense, it’s Don’t call her Bones. That’s Booth’s nickname for her and he is not willing to share the nickname or the girl.

What I didn’t like from the sides was that, upon meeting, Brennan looks at Jared and says that his “facial structure is even more symmetrical and pleasing than Booth’s.” That bothered me, because of the whole baby thing. The argument is that once Brennan wraps her brain around wanting a baby, she’s logically going to want to have said baby with Booth, because he’s obviously got the best physical and emotional qualities necessary for babymaking.

Well, in the sneak peek, you’ll notice that the line’s been changed: “Your facial structure is even more symmetrical than Booth’s.”

It goes from an endorsement of Jared’s superior features to an anthropological observation about his bone structure.

Especially for Brennan, these are two very different sentiments.

We’re putting together this situation wherein Brennan—probably subconsciously—is paying all this attention to Jared because he seems like a viable alternative to He Who She Cannot Have. Even Hart Hanson said this was the case!

So the events of the episode have to prove her logic flawed.

Obviously, we’ve got Angela calling Jared “Booth-Lite.” Brennan refutes this, but I have a feeling Angela’s going to have a “Sweetie, please” and a nice non-anthropological approach to why Seeley Booth is clearly the better choice.

Also, we know that Jared proves to not be the best guy, judging from the scene pages we have of Booth bailing his brother out after a drunk driving snafu.

So this is all leading up, we think, to Brennan having a moment of clarity wherein she realizes that Booth is pretty much as good as it comes. She’s been slowly figuring out the Booth Situation as this season has progressed, and while it’s not quite to the point where she can say anything about it, I think this episode will be an important milestone on the way to Brennan making a decision.

Mae and I have specifically been speculating on the inevitable closing Booth/Brennan scene tomorrow. Remember that this episode constitutes a pretty shit day for Booth—Jared’s got eyes for his girl, he’s getting looked over at work, and it’s his birthday. At the end of the day, it’s going to be time for Brennan to reassure Booth. She has to end this episode telling him that she prefers him to Jared, asymmetrical features and all, because Seeley Booth is a good man. He’s a good father, a good partner, and an honorable man. And, hell yeah, Bones likes him better.

So it doesn’t matter that Booth doesn’t get to go to Hawaii, because he gets to spend the weekend hanging out with Bones. (There’s no way they’ll both go to Hawaii, is there?)

Thursday, November 6, 2008

When Good Squee Goes Bad: Life Lessons from Tonight's Gre&'s Anatom%

This is what happened at the end of Grey's:

The Y key is permanently dented, but still functional. Lifelong proof of what Alex and Izzie do to my brain. And my electronics.

Grey's Anatomy: Rumor for Tonight's Episode Leaves a Lot to the Imagination

Okay, did y’all see this on Dark yesterday?

I just wanted to prepare you guys for what goes down with Erica Hahn (Brooke Smith). They do not leave it open for her return. They don't outright say that she's dead, but it makes it obvious.

She leaves at the end of the episode because she resigns at Seattle Grace. The reason she resigns is that her patient, the one that Izzie stole the heart from in Season Two, is treated at Seattle Grace. She finds out what Izzie did and gets upset when everyone, even Callie, defends Izzie.

She operates on her patient and tells the family that she hopes the procedure will be enough for him to survive with until a heart becomes available. After that, Callie tells Erica that she can't be with her anymore and Erica leaves. You see her drive away.

The next thing you see is someone calling UNOS to say that they have a heart for the guy at Seattle Grace, the one who has been waiting for two years. They say it's a healthy, 41 year old female.

And then you see Denny's ghost (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) hold out his hand and smile. But you don't see Erica. You just know it's her.

Couple things.

First, do we really think this is going to happen? I have to say, if it’s fake, then somebody is a really freaking good speccer, because this is a quality rumor. It puts all the pieces together—Izzie’s meltdown, Hahn leaving, Denny’s return—in a way that’s not way too obvious. Like, there was a Lost rumor last week about Kate and her parole officer and the whole thing sounded fishy to me, because it ONLY built off the promo and the speculation that the Oceanic Six might be doing some traveling in the near future. (Plus, it would have required the “parole officer,” who in this rumor turns out to be a Widmore lackey, to make it upstairs into Kate’s bedroom, and that seems a little fishy to me.)

Anyway, this is about Grey’s.

If this is indeed happening—and I’m going to go ahead and believe this rumor in the interest of being excited for such high-quality drama—then why?
Lots of people, including GLAAD, are expressing their disappointment that it looks like ABC has a gay problem. I seriously don’t think that’s the case. Because if ABC was uncomfortable with the gay thing, then why is this happening now? Why didn’t they put the kibosh on the whole gay Hahn thing when Shonda sent over the script for, I don’t know, say, “Piece of My Heart”? It’s not like the ABC brass just saw last week’s episode.

For those of us here who watch Grey’s, this development isn’t that heartbreaking. In our Grey’s finale podcast from last season, Leigh cracked Mae and I up when she went off on this diatribe about how much she disliked Hahn. She even sent me an email today saying that Hahn “just really didn't bring any value to the show.” I’m just starting to wonder if cardiothoracic surgeon at Seattle Grace is starting to become akin to the drummer in Spinal Tap.

What I’m really curious about is why this news broke earlier this week. Are Ausiello and Kristin just that good at their jobs? (Short answer: No.)
I don’t think that’s what happened, because then how come Brooke Smith and Shonda Rhimes did interviews with Ausiello? (Although I guess it’s not like Brooke owes Grey’s anything at this point, even discretion.) Obviously, most people who watch Grey’s aren’t like you and me. If they know anything about this, it’s that Hahn is getting written off; a very small percentage of Grey’s watchers have seen the Dark post. Still, though—how did this happen with two days left until the episode airs?
Of course, this could also be a huge hoax. We could get zero information about Hahn’s departure tonight and this whole post could be totally useless.

One thing’s for sure—tonight is Erica Hahn’s last episode. And you know what we say to that?

More time for Derek and Meredith.