Friday, April 20, 2007

OCTOBER ROAD: A Brief, Shining Moment - And Then That Dialogue

When it comes to brand new shows on television, I've gotten to a point where I stick with what I know and trust. For instance, if something was created by J.J. Abrams then I'm automatically going to be watching it - he's kept me happy and intrigued for years and years, with many different shows. I'm at a point where I more or less trust him to not disappoint me - or to at least not disappoint me until after the first season.

On the same token, if something is created/produced/written/whatevered by John Wells, it's an automatic deal-breaker and I won't go anywhere near it. That man broke my heart (mine and Caroline's and about 957987452 other people's, for that matter.) when he went against canon and killed the Carter/Abby lovestory on ER in one of the most ridiculous plot twists ever. I know other people that say he destroyed Third Watch, too, and both Caroline and I noticed an obvious and unlikable shift in the stories on The West Wing once Wells took over the helm for that show, as well.

I basically despise that man and refuse to watch anything that he has anything to do with at all. But I do know who I trust and who has been involved in making me happy over the years, so I tend to go where they lead.

Which is exactly why I was excited about October Road. Andre Nemec and his team are alumni of Alias, and other Alias alums (Ken Olin, etc) had already proven themselves more than worthwhile away from JAbrams with the wonderful new addition of Brothers and Sisters. How could I possibly go wrong following Andre and his boys into their new venture about coming home again?

Oh, if only it were true.

I'm truly sorry if you actually enjoy October Road, because I think it's an absolutely ridiculous show. I wasn't impressed by the pilot, but I gave the second episode a chance to redeem itself. It didn't work. I didn't watch it for a few weeks, but last night I watched it again because I was too lazy to pick up the remote and change the channel after what turned out to be a very boring episode of Grey's (which I'm sure will be blogged about soon enough).

It was just... bad. The premise itself is actually not terrible, and the storyline of Nick, Hannah and "their" son Sam is actually kind of nice to watch for the most part. My problem is with the supporting cast. My bigger problem is with the writing.

The dialogue is some of the cheesiest bullshit I have ever heard. What happened, Andre? You did things so well with Sydney and the gang! Where did the magic go?

It's as if my ears are fighting very hard to not start bleeding out in pain from the ridiculous dialogue this show is spewing. When the boys ran into the frat house to pick a fight, it was simply laughable. Stupid. Like reading a really bad crap-fic. You know the kind I'm talking about.

And Hannah's speech about the crutches that Nick made for her and how she liked to lean on them? Wow, that was such a subtle metaphor. I almost puked. Not to mention that the whole "hugs for sale" moment at the very end could have actually been kind of cute, had it not been followed through in entirety. Perhaps if Nick's dad had just said "I got hugs for sale" and then Nick walked over knowingly, hugging him - instead of going through the entire cheesy routine we had heard about earlier in the episode - it would have played out with less of a gag reflex. But it didn't.

I have absolutely no love for this show, and it actually makes me sad because I only wish the best for writing teams who have done me so well in the past. But honestly, I pray for this show to be cancelled.

The season finale is next week, and I can only hope that ABC sees that open timeslot as a perfect place for Perfect Gentleman. They can't really go wrong having viewers go from watching Patrick Dempsey on Grey's straight into watching Michael Vartan on his new show. I sure as hell won't be complaining.

The ratings would go through the roof and ABC would have a solid clench on Thursday night. And it would be the first time since I gave up on ER and lost Friends that I would truly feel as though Thursday is the best night on television. Ever.

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