Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Caroline Crosses Over: How TV's Finest Can Combine Efforts

In an early season four episode of Alias, Sydney and Vaughn throw a party for Weiss’s birthday. Everybody’s having fun, eating pizza, drinking beer. Suddenly, if you listen very carefully, you can hear the music subtly change. The new song is none other than “You All Everybody,” the single by Driveshaft, Charlie’s beloved band on Lost.

Crap like that makes my day. I love when my favorite shows mention each other, or when it is inferred that they exist in the same universe. Obviously such allusions were pretty easy between two shows in the Jabrams world; they’re more fun to catch when they’re more random. For instance, because of this reference, are we to believe that Charlie’s ex-girlfriend Lucy’s father owns Werner-Hogg, the British Office’s Dunder-Mifflin?

I wish crossovers happened more often. In fact, I already have several ideas about how some of my favorite shows could combine efforts. Here are some of my best ideas.

I. ER and Grey’s Anatomy: McClooney?

When Julianna Marguiles and George Clooney left ER, their characters moved to Seattle to settle down with their daughters. Now, Carol Hathaway and Doug Ross are presumably working as medical professionals in the Seattle area. Why not, then, bring these two beloved characters to Grey’s Anatomy, a show set conveniently in a Seattle hospital? Grey’s needs more nurses, and it never hurts to bring in another sexy doctor. I was anticipating the announcement of Patrick Dempsey as People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive, but George Clooney definitely took that honor this year.

I’ve also been saying for a while now that Grey’s needs a pediatrician; I predicted here that Meredith would choose pedes as a specialty, and she’s gonna need a mentor. Plus, Hathaway and Meredith can bond over attempted suicide, while Izzie and Doug can chat about getting too involved with patient care. Sounds like a party to me!

II. The West Wing and Private Practice: The First Wives Club?

I don’t think I’ve yet said this here, but my favorite West Wing character of all time was Amy Gardner. Basically, I want to be her. I’m interning this summer at a big non-profit women’s activism group, and I’m pretty much going to pretend I’m her all summer. God, she’s so badass.

The only TV character who could ever compete with her for badass-ness is Addison Montgomery. I have this theory that Amy and Addison were best friends in college, but lost touch when Amy moved to Washington and Addison moved to New York with Derek. So I’d love to see the two characters “reconnect” by having Addison help Amy with, say, a prenatal healthcare initiative. In addition to getting legislation passed that will help Addison (and lady doctors everywhere) do her job better, they can also dish about Josh, Derek, and those slutty slutty whores Donna Moss and Meredith Grey. Just kidding. (Hey, this crossover is better than the one I came up with wherein Evil Francie, played by Private Practice cast member Merrin Dungey, infiltrates the fertility clinic to steal eggs for Covenant purposes.)

III. Lost and The X-Files: Did Jack Also Have a College Boyfriend?

Compare the following:

“I know your size. I know your blood type, your resting heart rate, your childhood fear of clowns. I know the name of your college boyfriend, your true hair color, your ATM pin number, favorite charities, pet peeves. I know you spend too much time alone. And I know that on one lonely night you invited Mulder to your bed. I was as surprised as you are.” – Shadow Man, The X-Files, “Trust No 1”

“I know where he was born, I know what his parents did for a living. I know that he was married, and who he was married to. I know why he got a divorce. I know how his father died. I know his height, his weight, his birthday, and his blood type.” – Juliet, Lost, “Left Behind”

Could Juliet be a supersoldier? She seems to know just as much about Jack as the Shadow Man knew about Scully. Now, I guess we’re supposed to assume she knows so much because the Others have files for all of the Lostaways (all of that info would supposedly be easily accessible to somebody willing to do a little investigative research), but I would really enjoy it if Juliet was actually an alien.

For those of you who don’t know, the Shadow Man was played by none other than Lost’s very own Terry O’Quinn (although he’s credited as Terrance Quinn).


Well, yeah.

But maybe Locke is, like, still a supersoldier. Maybe he TOLD Juliet all that stuff about Jack before he left with the Others.

That would be awesome.

IV. Alias and The Office: SpyFam Part Deux?

I am a big fan of connections. Like, say, Blythe Danner played Noah Wyle’s mom in The Myth of Fingerprints and also played Maura Tierney’s mom in Forces of Nature, so basically, Carter and Abby are siblings, right?

Hee, so fun. It’s like Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, only with my TV people.

Anyway, my favorite villainess this side of Cruella DeVil is Lauren Reed. Her mother, Olivia Reed, also a Covenant operative, is played by Peggy Lipton. Peggy Lipton’s daughter in real life is Rashida Jones, who plays Karen on The Office.

So basically, Lauren Reed and Karen Fillipelli are sisters.

I would really enjoy a reveal that Karen is actually a terrorist, posing as a paper saleswoman in order to...well, I’m not really sure why she would need to do that. I’m pretty sure Jim doesn’t know any national secrets. Maybe they are both deep-cover agents of competing intelligence agencies. Jim is CIA, of course, and Karen is Covenant.

I will really need to work on the whys of this little scenario, as I can’t imagine what kind of information you could get out of infiltrating Dunder-Mifflin. I mean, I’m pretty sure if Michael Scott knew any government secrets, you could just ask him and he’d tell you. Not a very good secret-keeper, that one.

Maybe Dunder-Mifflin is like Credit Dauphine, just a front for a secret branch of the CIA. And the only people who know the truth are Toby, Jim, and Creed. The selling of the paper is just a pointless exercise so that the branch can maintain its cover.

Do you know how pissed Dwight would be if he found out?

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