Okay, okay, okay. I know I said nearly a week ago that I was going to write a Grey's blog about the finale, but... the thing is, I keep trying to come up with something intelligent or philosophical to say, and I just can't. Try as I might, I can't do it.
I was on the phone with Caroline last night and when this subject came up, this is what I told her: "I'm pretty sure that the way you feel about the Bones finale is more or less how I feel about the Grey's finale. I know there were tons of great things in the episode that I loved and thought were amazing (Alex/Izzie), but none of that matters to me because all my brain can think about is Post-it notes and how angry they make me."
But then news about George's fate was leaked, and I figured it was as good a reason as any to sit down and try to talk about the finale. I make you no promises that this will be insightful, but I'm pretty sure it will at least be an adventure in spiteful sarcasm and a lack of anger management.
As reported yesterday by E!Online's Marc Malkin (so strange when it's not Dos Santos, don't you think? Oh wait, I hate her), George O'Malley is very much dead. As if that wasn't blatantly obvious, but still. I mean, not only had we been hearing about TR's supposed inevitable departure for what feels like years now, but did anyone actually think George was going to come back after that kind of an injury? Really?
No, seriously, if you even for one second stopped yourself and considered that maybe - just maybe - George would survive, I beg you to explain to me why and how? WHY? HOW COULD THAT HAPPEN? The man's face was crushed, and we've already (annoyingly) done that story before. If you remember the sheer torture that was Ava/Rebecca, then you should remember that the only way that worked was because they gave her a "new" face and she didn't even look like how she supposedly looked before a giant chunk of concrete took a nap on top of her.
Tell me, then: How exactly was TR Knight going to carry on portraying the character of George if George was never going to look like TR Knight again? Ever, ever again?
If that dose of not-so-subtle hinting wasn't enough for you (How?!?), then the fact that George was already off the elevator and waiting for Izzie to join him should have solidified it for you.
The cliffhanger wasn't whether or not George was dead. He was. He is. The end. The cliffhanger was about whether or not Izzie would be joining him on the other side.
Which, by the way, she won't. That would just be stupid.
But let me just say for the record that if Izzie Stevens-Karev dies and/or abandons her adorable husband just so that Katherine Heigl can leave the show, I will never watch again. I mean it.
You know why?
Because Alex/Izzie have slowly but surely become the only real reason I watch this show anymore. I love Derek/Meredith. I really do, and I'm sure that I always will, but Shonda Rhimes just does not know how to stop fucking with them. She's like an anal retentive cook in the kitchen who can't stop poking at the grill instead of leaving the chicken alone to cook through on its own time.
I do not understand why she has this apparent aversion to a Der/Mer marriage.
She got Alex and Izzie married, and that's precious and adorable and I love every bit of it. I loved their plot in the finale, I really did. I loved Alex's frustration and fear, and his admittance (which I saw coming a mile away) that things are kind of screwy now because they only got married since she was supposedly dying. It's not like he actually wants her to die or regrets marrying her, but they're married now nonetheless and he's the one left picking up the pieces... just as Alex has always done with all of the women in his life. I love those two together, and I was waiting for the bottom to drop out beneath them the whole time because as soon as Izzie signed that DNR I said, "That's totally going to bite her in the ass later."
Lucky for her, she has a stubborn husband who wouldn't just let her die without a fight and friends/co-workers who care too much about them both to let that happen. Screw the DNR. There's more Alex & Izzie plot to explore in the future, and you can bet your ass that those two won't resort to Post-its in order to say how they feel.
Because, honestly. Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me, Shonda? Why? I beg you, please, explain to me why it's so difficult for you to let Derek and Meredith be totally and completely committed to each other? You keep saying that they're together "for good" now and that we have nothing to worry about, but you still can't seem to let them take that final step. Stop being so damn terrified that you'll ruin the show and any interest in that pairing if you actually allow them to be happily married and experiencing life without internal angst.
The two of them being happily married isn't going to ruin the show or make people lose interest in them. Screwing with your fans and stringing them along by a trail of Post-it notes, on the other hand...
I've heard several people (including Leigh) say that the "wedding" scene in the locker room was actually very romantic and sweet. It was, I agree, but you know what? I don't care. It was a cop-out. It was a pathetic excuse to say, "Hey they're married now! Well, at least they are in their hearts! Isn't it sweet?" and yet still bypass anything official so that the window is left wide open for things to go wrong between them all over again.
I get that Meredith isn't the kind of girl who would put on a white gown and walk down the aisle with violins playing and people smiling all around her. I get it, and it's totally true. But what was wrong with going to city hall? Did we really have to resort to something as easily disposable as a colorful square of paper with adhesive on the back? Seriously?
Shonda says that "the Post-it wedding will have big reverberations next season." Fuck that. You hear me, Shonda? Fuck. That. Of course it's going to have reverberations! It wasn't legal!
I play to win, kids. I'm not in the game of 'shipping for the pure fun of it, okay? When we're dealing with OTPs, I want my engagement rings to be sparkly, my first-born children to be girls, and my weddings to be legal. Is that so much to ask?
I really don't think so.
Wherever Shonda Rhimes thinks she's going with this Post-it business, I have no idea. But I'm pretty sure I'm not going to care anymore unless she gives me something else to cling to.
I'm willing to accept a McBaby as a consolation prize. Just sayin'.