These are just a few of the emotions I have felt since watching "The End in the Beginning."
If you listened to the podcast, you'll know that my reaction was probably best described as, well, angry.
Here's the thing. I spent months analyzing these spoilers. So did a lot of people. And I really felt going into the finale that the only way all of those things could add up was with an unplanned pregnancy. Call me pretentious, call me an asshole, but I still think that might be true. Because Hart Hanson can Twitter his little heart out about how he only obfuscated and fancy-danced, but I maintain that he lied. He specifically said, "No dream sequence here." And, folks, that whole damn finale was a dream sequence. Yes, it could have been Brennan's book (more on that later). Yes, it could have been a flashforward (more on that later). Yes, it could have been "the meeting of two minds," as Hart said (more on that later). But please tell me if you can think of any literary device they can use on the show to tell us which of these (if any) it was. I'm pretty sure there isn't one.
For all practical intents and purposes, that was not Booth and Brennan naked in bed together. Again, please tell me specifically how that will have "serious ramifications," how that will be something they can't walk away from? Because that's what I was told, and that ain't what happened.
So, yeah, I should probably be eating crow and admitting I was wrong about my months of baby!spec. But I won't, because given the information I had, I maintain that that's where I should have been. I don't think I was wrong because I suck at speculating. (Okay, seriously--go ahead and call me deluded and stupid and pretentious. It's okay.)
So yes, I have a problem with the fact that I feel lied to. I also have (had?) a problem with how trite this amnesia business is. You know what the last show was that pulled this stunt? Desperate Housewives. Yeah. It's soapy and silly and I just don't like it. Mostly, my issue is this: We all know that Booth's going to regain his memory. I give this storyline two episodes max; Mae gives it upwards of half a season, but at the end of the day, we all know he's going to remember. What I wanted and expected from that finale (baby or no baby) was a real gamechanger. Real sex would have been a real gamechanger, in that all of a sudden, Booth and Brennan know things. The sexual tension may even have been heightened by the fact that Booth knows the sound of her heels hitting the wood floor as she disrobes to get in bed with him and she knows how his voice sounds when he's whispering to her in bed.
Not only do I feel lied to, I feel cheated. Hey, Leigh, remember after "The Bones That Foam," I called you and told you that I had translated that last scene as "Buckle your seatbelts everybody, 'cause in eleven episodes, they're totally gonna do it"? I know I'm not the only one who felt some serious build-up over the last eleven episodes. From tearful confessions of childhood abuse in "Mayhem on a Cross" to frank conversations about the power of love in "Cinderella in the Cardboard" to slamming her up against a wall in "Science in the Physicist," I really thought we were headed toward Booth and Brennan Naked in Bed Together. Literally. Without ambiguity.
But apparently there was more ambiguity in that sex scene (in that entire episode, really) than in the season finale of Lost.
And that's what I have a problem with the most.
Since everyone's initial shock wore off, other (more observant and less angry) people have found some inconsistencies. Most notably, there are two different clocks in Booth and Brennan's bedroom (the first, in standard time; the second, in military time). Some of Hodgins's voiceover (specifically "You see two people and you think they belong together, but nothing happens") isn't typed on Brennan's computer. And according to some people, Brennan's wearing two different engagement rings.
There are other inconsistencies that I did notice and was slightly perturbed by. For instance, why does Sweets maintain his "psychologist" persona in his role as the bartender, but Angela is no longer a "visual" person? Why is Jared still Booth's brother, while Max isn't "Bren"'s dad? Doesn't make sense.
All I have to say is seriously?
Even if all of those things are there on purpose (and Hart Hanson says that everything was done for a reason), what now? Does it matter? I just spent twenty minutes on the phone with Leigh theorizing that, perhaps, "Mr. B" and "Bren" are the introspections of Brennan and Booth, respectively (explaining why Mr. B doesn't wear a ring, but Bren does), while the sex is the fantasy/future/etc. of both of them. But so what? Even if by the end of the summer, the fandom has concluded that it was something like that, or that the voiceovers are Brennan and the visuals are Booth, or that the sex takes place sometime in the future, making it more of a "promise"--who cares? No matter what it was, I don't see how they're going to bring it back up. Are Booth and Brennan going to have a conversation about his dream and what she was writing? "I dreamed you came home at five in the morning and I made love to you." "ZOMG me, too!" I just don't see something like that going down.
Hart wants to call it "a meeting of the minds," but it just doesn't matter what it was, because the canon outcome is going to stay the same: nada.
Which is why it bothers me so much. One of the reasons why I love Bones so much is that it's usually so easy. I love that Bones isn't Lost. I don't want to overanalyze Booth's nightstand, y'all. I just want it to be light and fun and campy on occasion. Especially because on Lost, it's like...well, take the four-toed statue. It's taken three years to piece together all of the little details and identify it as Tawaret, the Egyptian goddess of fertility. But Darlton gave us the clues. It all added up there, in the end. We have these details for Bones (the clock, the ring, the damned character inconsistencies), but I have no expectation that it's going to add up in the end. How could Hart give us the "aha!" moment of "Okay, I get it. That was Booth hallucinating Brennan and Brennan writing Booth as Andy Lister" or whatever without a convention like, say, I don't know, time travel?
I'm sure he knows exactly what it was/is in his own mind, but without the literary devices to relay that to the audience, it's useless. It's inconsistency for inconsistency's sake.
However, even with alllll of that, I'm still warming to this idea. (I know, right? This is me warmed up.) Because now I can see that Bones is no stranger to cliches. This is the show that did buried alive and Christmas quarantine and joining the circus, for crying out loud. And I happen to really enjoy two of those three episodes. If anyone can do the amnesia story, it's these guys, right? And it lays the groundwork for some pretty good Booth/Brennan moments. I think I'm going to get through this summer powered only by thoughts of his first post-breakthrough "Bones."
And then there's this, Fox's official teaser synopsis for season five.
As Season Five of BONES begins, Booth and Brennan contend with the emotional fallout resulting from the sea-change in their relationship brought about by events at the end of Season Four. This includes Brennan’s request to have Booth father her child and the strange, profound, almost psychic link they shared during Booth’s coma, which left both of them wondering what thoughts and emotions the other is experiencing. While Booth endeavors to come to grips with these unleashed emotions, Brennan insists that, with the aid of her “squints” in the lab, the two of them focus their attention and energy on their main job – catching murderers that no one else can catch.
"Strange, profound, almost psychic"? Really? Maybe we are going to elaborate on their cerebral connection. (I'm sorry, but didn't this happen on Fringe?) It also sounds plausible that Cyndi Lauper, who's going to be recurring as a psychic, will play a role similar to Sweets--she helps with cases and then analyzes Booth and Brennan when she's off duty. But I'm skeptical of the idea that either Booth or Brennan would admit that they felt they had an "almost psychic" connection during his coma.
The one word I do like? Sea-change. Like I said, I wanted a gamechanger. So if they can convince me that what happened was a gamechanger (beyond the few episodes it's gonna take to avail Booth of his memories), I'm all for it. If you're going to go with this psychic thing, I'm in.
But be warned, Bones. You're officially on notice.