Friday, October 31, 2008

After Three Years, I'm Breaking My Silence on an Important Topic

So there’s a show I watch every single week and never talk about on this blog.

I’m totally engrossed with the characters, I have an associated OTP, and I clamor for spoilers and news for this show.

So why isn’t it a staple of my television commentary?

Because it’s called The Hills.

Not only does Mae hate The Hills, but we agreed upon first creating this blog that Chaos in General would be for analysis, predictions, and commentary on scripted shows.

Well, one might argue that The Hills is scripted, and anyway, it has everything I need to sustain a delightful following.

And as she just summed up in a response to my permission-asking email, “Those people are more like characters anyway.”

‘Cause seriously, who needs Sawyer when you’ve got Justin-Bobby?

Who needs Jim and Pam when you’ve got Lauren and Brody?

Obviously, there is reality to The Hills, which is why it’s problematic to be as enamored as I am with the idea of Lauren and Brody getting together. Because, where we all knew that Jim and Pam would eventually end up together, there’s a very real possibility that Lauren and Brody will never want that.

With scripted television, we could whine and bitch until the writers stopped making Audrina such a pushover, but on reality TV, we just have to accept that she’s always going to end up going back to Justin-Bobby, no matter how many times she says “I am done.”

And now with Whitney’s spinoff, The City, premiering in December, there’s no way I can keep avoiding talking about this important part of my TV life.

As my first note on The Hills, please enjoy these two YouTube contributions.

Here, Jimmy Kimmel shows LC Heidi’s music video. In case you are unfamiliar with Heidi Montag’s music video for “Higher,” it was filmed on the beach by the show’s ubervillian, Spencer Pratt (also Heidi’s boyfriend). As if the song itself wasn’t horrible...

Right at 4:00, it get hilarious.

The Office: Shocked?

So the synopsis for next week's Office says:

Dwight and Jim are shocked when they get the results of the annual customer survey report.

I've been thinking about this for weeks.

Obviously, the "shocking" choice would be for Jim to be the winner. We know that in the past, Dwight has outsold Jim, and Jim of Season Two didn't really care that much about his job.

Or would the shocking choice be Dwight, because Jim's been putting in so much effort lately (since "Job Fair") and Dwight's been distracted since his breakup with Angela a year ago? Also, we know that Dwight outsells Jim, but wouldn't we think that customers probably like dealing with Jim better, because he's so charming and, you know, he's Jim?

Here's my bet. I bet the shocking part is that it's neither Dwight nor Jim, but rather Phyllis or Stanley. Oh, God, or Andy.

I bet this is another heartening-slash-depressing episodes in which we see that Jim wants to go beyond Dunder-Mifflin paper sales but can't because he's on a show called The Office. Le sigh.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

30 Rock: New Casting Scoop--Too Perfect for Words!

Ausiello is reporting that Mad Men's Jon Hamm is in talks to play Liz Lemon's love interest for a few episodes of 30 Rock.

I mean, I loved Floyd (Jason Sudeikis) and all, but, oh my, I can really see this being great.

Makes sense, doesn't it?

Best Drama, Best Comedy...

He was on SNL last weekend; so was she...

He's sleek and debonair and hot and so Liz's (and my) type.

I'm so feeling it.

30 Rock: Just Watch It. I Wish I Had More to Say.

It won a boatload of Emmys, including for Outstanding Comedy Series.

Tina Fey is practically the most popular woman in America right now, thanks to her SNL moonlighting as Sarah Palin. If you haven't seen this clip of her talking about how much Sarah Palin confuses Tina's daughter, Alice, it's precious and you should watch it:



Anyway, so everyone loves Tina. And everyone's talking about 30 Rock. And, let me tell you, I don't talk about it that often on the blog because it doesn't really have, like, mythology or OTPs, but it's definitely my second-favorite show on television right now. I identify with Liz Lemon in a way that I've never identified with a TV character ever before. Here's a conversation I had with my mom, who just finished watching season one of 30 Rock:

Mom: So I decided that Liz Lemon is you.
Caroline: Gee, thanks!
Mom: Eh.

I really hope that this year is the year that 30 Rock becomes mainstream and popular and No. 1. Because it so deserves to be.

This is why I don't blog about the show. It's too hard for me to make coherent statements about 30 Rock. All I can say is it's amazing and I hope all of you watch it tonight--or have already watched it on Hulu.com OR RIGHT HERE ON THIS BLOG.



Next week they have Oprah.

The Office: Didn't You Know--New York City is the City of Brotherly Anxiety

So I think the Jim's brothers episodes is tonight.

When I first reported on this news, I was really jazzed. At the time, I was thinking about how much I love when siblings come on and shake things up or give people a little perspective on what their future is going to be like as a member of this family.

But lately, I'm thinking that's not really what I think.

Because, um, I'm kind of dreading this Jared Booth business.

And I remember what happened when Eric Wyczenski showed up on ER. (P.S. I spelled that right on the first shot--snaps for Caroline.)

So what kind of trouble are the Halpert boys going to cause on tonight's Office? I doubt they're going to cast doubt on Pam, because, well, they're Jim's brothers. They've been hearing about Pam for years at this point, and, duh, they're going to think she's awesome. What I bet happens is we (and the Halperts) realize that Pam's kind of changed in New York. She's Fancy New Fancy New Beesly.

And while that's kind of good, she's got to have a reason to come back to Scranton, which I'm sure is happening during sweeps. Right? RIGHT?!!? And her reason has to be that she loves her art, but she's not a New Yorker. Her dream is to have her cozy life with Jim and also have her art on the side. She wants to have a family with Jim, and I think Pam sees that happening in Scranton--or, where many of us think they'll end up, in Philly.

So we'll see a little disconnect between FNB and FNFNB. And maybe she comes off as a little pretentious. But we all love Pam and Jim loves Pam, so it'll all be fine in the end.

And seriously? I'm hoping they mention who the Larissa Halpert of Emergency Contact fame is. Sister? Mother? Secret wife?

And what are the brothers' names going to be? 'Cause if one of them is Jon, there are going to be some happy fangirls for serious.

ETA: According to this article, Jim's older brother's name is Tom Halpert. Our chances of getting a Jon have just decreased by 50%.

Friday Night Lights and Lost: Reason No. 4856 Why I Love Matt Saracen



I just...yes. I was actually talking with a friend last night about how most people have a TV "type." She was a Pacey person, now a Sawyer person. I was a Dawson person, now a Jack person.

Now I need to GChat her and ask if she's a Riggins or a Matt person...

Friday, October 24, 2008

Lost: New Tidbits About Season Five

So much to talk about! How did things suddenly get so busy—and why did it have to happen during midterms? Seriously, there was so much commotion about those Bones sides that we failed to even mention the first footage of Lost’s new season, which aired in a terrifying and awesome 1:15 second promo this week.

In case you haven’t seen it yet, here it is:

Click here.

Mostly, I’m just so excited to see them all again. There’s Beardy!Jack and Clean!Jack in this promo, which is always appreciated. I really wonder if that means we’re going to be in beard territory for a while with Clean!Jack flashbacks, or if there’s perhaps a scene in the premiere in which Jack gets it together and shaves. (Oh, and my mind’s going to the scene in I Want to Believe in which the exact same thing happens.)

I also can’t wait to find out what changes Kate’s mind—so much that she’s packing her gun hurriedly and telling Aaron, “We’re going on vacation, baby.”

And then there’s all this island insanity. I can’t make out what’s going on to save my life. There’s a dude in one of those Kelvin Inman quarantine suits coming out of a hatch and pointing a gun, there’s left-behinders trekking through the jungle, there’s Sawyer and his island wife Juliet up to some serious business.

I mean, it also looks like there's a scene in which Dan and Juliet "discover" the hatch. When I said "a hatch" earlier--it sure looks like the door to the hatch. And where it looks like Juliet wiping dirt off a window--it sure looks like the hatch of the hatch.

You know, when all that speculation was going on about moving the island through time, back to the era of DHARMA and stuff, I kind of rolled my eyes. Because, seriously, how would that even work? But I don’t know anymore, y’all. Maybe that is what happened. Or maybe the Dharma Initiative finds the island in real-life present-time.

Also, today Dark spoiled the titles of the first six episodes:

Episode 5.01 - Because You Left
Episode 5.02 - The Lie
Episode 5.03 - Jughead
Episode 5.04 - The Little Prince
Episode 5.05 - This Place is Death
Episode 5.06 - The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham

So 5x06 would look to be Locke-centric—if there is such a thing as –centric anymore, I suppose. I’d also be willing to bet that 5x04 is Kate and Aaron-centric. (Or Jack, Kate, and Jaby-centric, although that seems highly unlikely.)

I wonder what lie is bad enough to be known as the lie. This could be in reference to the Oceanic Six’s lie, I suppose, as they try to figure out how to go about their missions without rousing too much suspicion. “Jughead” would seem to be a reference to the Archie Comics character—a Hurley-centric hour, perhaps?

I love speculation!

Anyway, there’s much more fun to be had in the TV world this week. On my to-do list are posts on The Office, Law and Order: SVU, How I Met Your Mother, 30 Rock, and, as always, more Bones. Check back often as I try to crank some of these out this weekend.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Chaos in Stereo: Now We Want a Pony

Last night, we heard a big Bones spoiler. Seven pages of sides came out for an upcoming episode, and if you don't want to be spoiled, I won't even tell you the name of the episode, because it might just give too much away. I told Mae; Mae told Leigh. But...no one told Jen. So the three of us conspired to use our podcast skills and record her immediate reactions--which were pretty much what our immediate reactions were, too.

Here's the thing. We knew it would happen, I guess. Between when we recorded the podcast and when I was done editing the podcast, more sides came out. And I was working really fast to get the podcast done.

So while this podcast contains exciting predictions, there's so much stuff that the new sides ALREADY proved that Mae, Leigh, and Jen were predicting and I thought weren't necessarily germane to the conversation at large. (Such as, which recurring cast members also appear in this episode and, well, who the bad guy is.) But, it's midterms. It would take two hours or more to reedit the podcast, and, well, I have physics lab in 65 minutes. Just take my word for it.

And that's not to say that this podcast is totally unusable anymore. There's still tons of excitement to be had here, including the biggest, most hard-hitting, sweetest, most touching moments of what is sure to be a classic Bones episode.

Also, you'll get to hear us talk about how this episode looks like it will fulfill one of the things we asked for in our "little things" challenge last week. Should we start asking for more little things?

And if that's not enough, you can listen to me giggle for thirty-five minutes straight.




Sunday, October 19, 2008

Bones: Shot -- SCORE!

"The Fire In The Ice"

OMG. Hockey. Episode.

CAPS LOCK CANNOT EXPRESS MY FANGIRLY JOY!!! Seriously. I love hockey. You combine that with my favorite show and, more importantly, it's sexy male lead who knows how to play and you've got me as your bitch. There isn't much in this world that is sexier to me than a handsomly hot man who knows how to work it on the ice. Yes, Vartan. I'm talking about you too. I can't count how many beats my heart would skip each time we saw Vaughn on the ice.

Before I started watching this Bones, I began asking Mae the battery of questions I always ask before getting into a show including, "Have they introduced a sport yet?" Weird, I know. They hadn't at that point but I was told Booth's office had random hockey paraphernalia and a framed Mario Lemieux jersey over his bed. I told her and anyone else who would listen that I was going to lose my mind if/when I ever found out that skating or hockey was going to surface on Bones -- and then it happened. And, as I predicted, I lost it. Props to me though for being able to partially control myself since I was coming out of a concert with my family when I received the message.

Over the past few days it seems like I've gotten an answer to almost every question that has popped into my head about what we may or may not see. Once I learned that we would, in fact, see Booth playing hockey and checking guys into the boards (!!!) and that Brennan just so happens to be there (!!!), I was content to not learn annnnnnything else. Unfortunately, I went snooping around trying to find a clip of David announcing the Phillies lineup during game 5 of the NLCS on Wednesday (genius, Fox, genius) and happened to find some sides which I thought were ones that Caroline had already told me about. Nope. They were new. Blast! Okay -- so I'm not allowed to click on anything having to do with this episode. I've got hockey. That's all I need to know. WOOT! I'm really hoping that any hockey details that are given are actually -- accurate. God knows I ruthlessly picked apart Booth's speech about his bowling accolades and the entire House/Chase bowling scene. Not one bowler on either staff?!!? Come on!

Anyway, I envision the shooting of this episode to be similar to that of Alias when hockey was involved; David f-ing around on the ice all day while Emily sits there freezing her ass off thinking, "Why must I sit in the cold all day?" David? David. DAVID!!! We have to shoot now. DAVID!!!You have to believe that Vartan probably didn't give a flying hoot about shooting his scenes on those days either.

For now, and for the next few weeks, I must sit and wait.

Before I do, I make one request to Hart Hanson...

...please don't disappoint me.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Grey's Anatomy: Brave and New, Indeed

So I know I said the other day that I was going to blog during class. Fear not—I was not actually paying attention to my professor, but some other, more important things came up. Like picking off all my nail polish.

Now, that’s not to say that there aren’t important things to be blogging about. There are, and let’s get to them.

Last night’s Grey’s was amazing.

It was written by my favorite Grey’s writer, Debora Cahn, a West Wing transplant who was the only one who could bring the banter after Aaron Sorkin left. As an aside, when I met the West Wing crew a few years back, I asked a producer if she’d written the episode we were watching being filmed; he said Debora Cahn (who had written the ep) was John Spencer’s favorite post-Sorkin writer, too. Everyone loves her; she is amazing.

Most importantly, “Brave New World” was funny. The theme was beautifully executed across the stories. Sure, the season premiere’s theme was “happily ever after,” but when you only have, like, two stories working for you, it’s pretty easy to follow the theme. Easy, but boring. This episode had so many stories—all of which were great and perfectly did that whole Grey’s Anatomy mirroring-of-the-doctors’-lives thing. It was obvious, but it wasn’t OH MY GOD MY HUSBAND CHEATED ON ME WITH MY BEST FRIEND SO WATCH OUT ‘CAUSE YOUR BOYFRIEND IS GOING TO CHEAT ON YOU WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND MEREDITH GREY.

I’m really feeling for Lexie. She’s in an unenviable situation, and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight. Boys really are clueless, aren’t they?

Derek and Meredith—again, this is the kind of drama I can live with. I love that he gave her the trailer to be her and Cristina’s girl-friendly getaway place—AKA “Dermatology.” Even that whole thing—about the pampered docs up in Derm—wasn’t nauseating, which I thought it would be.

And Meredith’s hair looked amazing.

Alex finally took credit for his douchebaggery, which was appreciated by me AND Izzie. That’s not to say that he’s totally off the hook, but I think we all needed to hear him say aloud that he’s taking it out on Izzie because he knows she’ll still be there once he figures his shit out.

George was GREAT, passing his intern exam and being a fantastic practitioner in the meantime. That kid was my favorite patient in a long time, and he facilitated one of the best moments of the whole episode: “Hey, where’d that guy’s face go?”

Love.

But the real winner last night, hands down, was Doctor. Miranda. Bailey.

That speech about finding the embassy and politely demurring if you find you don’t care for the local cuisine was by far the most amazing Grey’s moment in the history of Grey’s.

Oh. My. God.

Mae went so far as to say that last night’s Grey’s was her favorite hour of episodic television so far this season. If I hadn’t liked The Office’s “Weight Loss” so damn much, I’d probably be inclined to agree with her.

Next week’s Grey’s is “There’s No ‘I’ In Team,” in which there’s some kind of big domino procedure, but the real drama is that Derek’s getting all the credit for the clinical trial. There’s a promo pic that (seemingly) shows Meredith opening a present from Derek, and they sure seem like they’re on good terms by the end of the episode. I’m not worried. Here’s the pic:



In the meantime, I’m anxiously awaiting the new podcast. If you don’t listen to these, head to ABC.com to have a listen. They’re kind of terrible in terms of podcasts, and definitely terrible in terms of making Shonda Rhimes seem like a pleasant person. Last week, Shonda and Betsy Beers spent the entire podcast talking about how proud they were of their biblical metaphor episode. Did you catch that? ‘Cause I didn’t. Y’all, this is Grey’s Anatomy, not Lost. You are the lowest common denominator of television. We watch it for the pretty people, not for its thought-provoking rethinking of the story of Job. Stop being pretentious. If I heard the word “lovely” one more time, I was going to hop on a plane and slap someone.

I’ll be interested to listen to this podcast, though, because, unlike last week’s episode, I thoroughly enjoyed last night’s.

Grey’s is back, people!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Little Moments: The Top 5 Tiny Wishes for Our Top 5 OTPs

Lately, I've been thinking about how most 'shipper desires for any respective OTP are pretty broad-spectrum, cliché, and blatantly obvious to be wished: epic first kisses, hot sex, confessions of "I love you," gorgeous diamond rings, marriage and babies. I wanted to focus on those smaller details that may seem entirely insignificant to a non-shipper but would swell the hearts of those of us who love them.

Caroline, Leigh and I joined forces to put together lists of five tiny wishes, in no real order of importance, for the 'ships that make up our collective Fave Five.

Jack & Kate - Lost

(5) Dancing. You just know Jack can properly ballroom. He can teach Kate how to waltz.
(4) More Parenting. To witness them feeding the baby or other such Aaron-centric moments.
(3) Daddy!Jack. We still need to see him actually holding the/a baby for once.
(2) Quiet moments of normalcy. Can they just happily brush teeth side by side?
(1) "Out at the airport. You know where." Why? What happened there before? Significance?


Jim & Pam - The Office

(5) A real, honest relationship fight.
(4) Pam meeting Jim's new baby nephew & the cute one that plays tee-ball.
(3) Finally getting themselves the puppy they've been alluding to lately.
(2) The answer to what was in Jim's letter at Season Two Christmas.
(1) The "Shortest Engagement" Dundie.


Booth & Brennan - Bones

(5) Booth in life-threatening danger. Brennan in absolute panic. You gypped us once, Hart. Time to follow through. ("The Hero in the Hold" & "The Critic in the Cabernet")
(4) Awkward yet perfectly comfortable slow dancing filled with all that UST.
(3) Forehead-touching eye sex. Preferably after something precious is said.
(2) Brennan losing herself in a moment of child-like joy. Booth looking on with total adoration. ("The Beaver in the Otter")
(1) Calling her "Bones" is great, but let him call her "Bren" once they're together. ("The End in the Beginning")


Chase & Cameron - House

(5) A glimpse of home life. Show us domesticity, please. Or even just a hug! ("Under My Skin" [home life] "Saviors," "Both Sides Now" [hugging])
(4) Playing Doctor/Patient. No, not the sexy way. One is sick/injured while the other one is the caretaker. Although, the sexy way is acceptable, too.
(3) Cameron taking relationship initiative. A random, unplanned marriage proposal from her would be the epitome, but any step forward on her part is joy. ("Saviors," "Both Sides Now")
(2) Spill your guts. Telling one another all about their damaged pasts. [I am *so* close to striking this one out! You can tell they've done it, we just didn't *see* it happen!]
(1) Nick-names and terms of endearment: They can call each other "babe" ("Saviors"); he can call her "love" or "beautiful" or "gorgeous." Most importantly, though: Chase calling her "Ally."


Derek & Meredith - Grey's Anatomy

(5) Meeting more of Derek's family, perhaps at Shepherd Family Thanksgiving? ("Sympathy For The Devil")
(4) It's Meredith's turn to support him, now. Be it emotional or physical injury, she needs to step up with worry and take care of him for once. ("Stand By Me," "Elevator Love Letter")
(3) Fighting and bantering over dream house blueprints.
(2) Derek teaches Meredith how to fish. And she probably hates it. And he knows.
(1) Mer walks in to find Derek asleep. Quietly musses his hair and gently kisses his forehead before curling up beside him.


So there you have it. With any luck, we will be able to start crossing things off the list as time goes by. But then, of course, we'll just come up with even more!

In the perfect words of the adorable Brad Paisley: I live for little moments like that. And so do we. The big occasions are incredible, but week after week it's those little details that keep our 'shipper hearts believing that the best is within reach.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Lost: DHARMA Goes Global

Lost spoilers.

Okay, so now it's official. There are several DHARMA stations worldwide, with at least one located in Australia and one in Portland, Oregon.

Makes sense, no?

I was thinking about this today, and I bet there are eight of these stations. I mean, it's not outlandish to think it'll be one of the numbers, and if there are only four, then why would we be seeing all this filming of an Oceanic Six round-up?

So then you could have as station-goers (wheel turners?)...Jack, Kate/Aaron, Sun, Hurley, Sayid, Desmond, Frank, and Walt. Am I forgetting anyone? And then you have Ben left to kind of orchestrate the whole thing. Are we thinking he'll be able to hoodwink the California Justice Department long enough for Kate and Aaron to jaunt off to Oregon for a quick little minute to flip a switch or whatever?

Or is it going to be like the frozen donkey wheel--the effect of getting back to the island will be instantaneous? 'Cause either the stations will transport those guys back to the island immediately, or it just "opens the portal" to return, so to speak. That way would be more convenient, since then Jack and everybody could pack a big ol' boat full of supplies to take back with them.

'Cause, seriously, it'd be hard to make the choice to go back to sleeping in a tent for the rest of your life. I'd be making sure I could bring my own pillow, man.

The Office: New Sneak Peeks...Oh, Goodness

Dark's got new sneak peeks from Thursday's Office and I am officially stoked. I just sat here and laughed out loud. On my couch. By myself.

Click here and watch!

It's Jan's Michael's baby shower, which of course is going to be ridiculous. Jan picked the girl baby name--Astird. (No, that's not a typo.) Michael picked the boy baby name--Chevy.

Good God.

I so badly hope Pam comes down for the shower. Putting a couple of pieces together, looks like there will be at least a mention of Jam babies this week, but we don't really know what that specifically means.

I can't wait.

I have a big to-do list for blogging today, so I'm going to try to crank some out while I'm in class from (gag me) 3:30 to 6:00. Last semester, bitches. I couldn't possibly care less.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Hey, Remember When Grey's Was Awesome?

My roommate and I are watching some old-school Grey's Anatomy right now--"It's the End of the World" and "(As We Know It)"--and remembering how great it used to be. I mean, this is pretty much the height of drama--bomb in a body cavity, Bailey refusing to push, the chief having an anxiety attack, Alex and Izzie having sex in the linen closet--and yet it still manages to be freaking hilarious. Alex screaming back at Screaming Wife?

Amazing.

Meredith's one demand when she thinks she's going to die: that George and Izzie get to stay in the house. I really hope that by the time Derek tries to bring up kicking the roommates out, Izzie and Alex are on better terms and the Derek McDreamhouse is practically completed.

Also, it cracks me up that when the shit comes down (you know this happens when Anna Nalick's "Breathe" starts playing) and Kyle Chandler wants Meredith to pull the bomb out of the body cavity, he wants her to imagine someone she likes more than him.

Now, sure, she's not in love with Coach Taylor, she's in love with Derek, but how could you possibly like anyone more than Kyle Chandler?

That's all.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Lost Hiatus '08 Day 21: Fill in the Blank

It's been three weeks and four years since Oceanic 815 crashed onto the island. I've managed to stick to my Hiatus Project promise--to watch scenes daily in keeping with the timeline provided by Lostpedia. This morning, I watched scenes from "Whatever the Case May Be."

At the beginning of this venture, there was an awful lot to watch. Day One involved scenes from 11 different episodes; most early season one episodes cover one day, with the next episode picking up right where it left off. As we move into mid-season, though, things are spacing out a little. Yesterday, I didn't have any scenes to watch, and there have been a few days already when I'll just have, like, thirty seconds from "The Other 48 Days" or something.

It really makes me wonder what everybody was up to.

Last week brought Charlie's near-death experience at the hands of Ethan. I love "All the Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues" for a lot of reasons (Jack backstory, Jate development, first fight with an Other, finding the hatch...), but it's really interesting to see it in this perspective, knowing that these characters had only known each other for two weeks. Two weeks, and there they were, trekking out into the jungle to find Charlie and Claire, following in the footsteps of Crazy Ethan.

It's way easier to contrast the beach camp survivors with the Tailies when you're watching it this way. Obviously, the Tailies had problems with the Others from the get-go, but there's definitely something to be said for Jack's superior leadership skills and Ana-Lucia's vastly inferior ones. She sucks. Survival under Ana-Lucia was a breeding ground for fear, suspicion, and paranoia. Survival under Jack wasn't necessarily the most fun thing ever, but at least there was some semblance of trust and, you know, live together, die alone. It's kind of no wonder the Others picked the Tailies to terrorize for a month and a half.

Also, I'm still confused about that. We're supposed to believe that the Others are perhaps "the good guys." Ben or Tom or somebody reminded us that the Oceanic survivors had killed more Others than Others had killed survivors. But here's the thing--the 815ers never kidnapped people and murdered them in cold blood. It was all self-defense or, in some cases, revenge. Here's what I got:

Survivors on Others
Eko kills two Others in self-defense. ("The Other 48 Days")
Ana-Lucia kills two Others in self-defense. ("The Other 48 Days")
Ana-Lucia kills Goodwin. ("The Other 48 Days")
Charlie kills Ethan. ("Homecoming")
Sawyer kills an Other who's stalking. ("Live Together, Die Alone")
Sun kills Colleen in self-defense. ("The Glass Ballerina")
Sayid, Jin, Hurley, and Bernard kill ten Others in defense of the beach camp. ("Through the Looking Glass")
Sawyer kills Tom. ("Through the Looking Glass") Tom had surrendered--I'll give Ben this one.

Others on Survivors
Goodwin kills Nathan. ("The Other 48 Days")
Ethan kills Scott. ("Homecoming")
Mikhael kills Charlie. ("Through the Looking Glass")

In almost all of those cases, the survivors were provoked--intensely. What was interesting--and this is getting off the topic of my Hiatus Project--was seeing what happened when the Freighters arrived. Had Jack and company tortured and terrorized Dan and them, it might have put the Others in a different light--defending their territory and afraid. Yeah, Jack and Juliet pulled that ol' "The Hunting Party" trick of surrounding the Freighters in the jungle, but that was it.

Yeah, now's not the time to get into Keamy's atrocities and Locke's crimes and Ben's choices. All I'm trying to say is that I love Jack--he's better than the Others and better than Ana-Lucia. And, yeah, I needed the Hiatus Project to learn that.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Fangirls and Apathy: Two Words That Don't Belong Together

Maybe you noticed (or maybe you didn't, but I wouldn't blame you) that no one around here has said a word about Brothers & Sisters or Heroes since last season. Really, we haven't been talking about much of anything at all in terms of excited episode commentary. That's because, really, TV is stuck in an epic fail so far this year. Save for the joyful excitement that Caroline and others are getting out of The Office, and some really good spoilers for Bones, we haven't exactly had anything good to say recently.

That is completely depressing. What is the deal with TV this year, you guys? It's boring.

Although, the reason for the complete lack of B&S and Heroes discussion is entirely caused by the fact that no one around here appears to care about them anymore. I've really always been the only one of us that watched and blogged about Heroes, and, frankly, I completely lost interest in that show about halfway through last season. I can't pinpoint exactly what happened; all I know is that suddenly I was watching about 20 minutes of the new episodes before my mind started wander and I left the couch to go do something more interesting.

You can tell me over and over again that it's gotten awesome again this year (and several people have already tried), but it's just too late. I really don't care anymore.

Brothers & Sisters, on the other hand, I do still totally care about. And that's why I can't be bothered to watch it. I still have the past two new episodes saved and unwatched on my DVR, and I'm not sure if I'll ever bring myself to sit down and give them some attention. At the end of last season, I said repeatedly that I wouldn't be able to watch anymore if they actually chose to go with a romance between Justin/Rebecca - I don't care how damn cute Dave and Emily are (and, whoa, that's some crazy Bones confusion, there). They have amazing chemistry, yes, and they're completely great together on the screen; it means nothing to me, because I can't stop thinking it's entirely weird to be making out with someone that you thought was your blood-sibling for over a year up until just a few weeks ago.

It makes me shudder, just a bit. I can't help it.

Leigh isn't about to come talk about B&S, either, unless it's to have one final rant. She told me she also hasn't watched the last two episodes and can't decide if she even wants to. There's a spoiler/rumor circulating that Robert may have an affair, and that would be the absolute end of Leigh's relationship with this show seeing as Robert/Kitty is her B&S OTP.

It's all just a big clusterfuck of bad writing lately. Not just for B&S and Heroes, but for all of our shows in general.

Bones has been back since September 1st and there still hasn't been even one episode that caused us to squee into our pillows and race to the phone to discuss. The best thing so far was the last few minutes of "Man in the Outhouse" with the precious speech of foreshadowing and all the intense gazing. It was incredible, sure, but it was just one scene out of many full episodes. That's not going to cut it. Upcoming spoilers look reluctantly promising and worthy of squee, but they're still just spoilers; it's doesn't really count until I witness the improvement on my TV screen.

Not even Alex gazing dreamily at Izzie, or Derek and Meredith being precious on the couch, was enough to keep me interested in and get me excited over the last episode of Grey's. I honestly don't even know how to react to that level disinterest.

Really, it's just kind of disheartening and frustrating to feel this way so far into the new seasons. We're fangirls. 'Shippers. This kind of thing really never happens. I mean, sure, we've been frustrated with our shows before, but it's always been because they were messing with our 'ships and working us into a tizzy. At least in those scenarios, we felt some sort of actual emotion about TV; right now it's mainly just apathy.

When the only real emotions I'm feeling toward TV lately are anxious paranoia and overly-dramatic hatred, I have to conclude that something is seriously wrong in TV land right now.

This is not good. November Sweeps had better rush in with some major repairs.

Otherwise I'm going to have to find other ways to occupy my nights until Lost and FNL come back to me in January. Maybe I can go get one of those "life" things that all of my non-fandom friends are always talking about.

Anvils for Skaters--Nope, Not That Kind

We haven't switched to the dark side, we've just discovered a long-established anvil that we'd never before thought to categorize as such.

I'm having YouTube difficulties tonight--why aren't any of these clips online? I'd do it myself if I could, but you start throwing words like "divx" and "codec" and "bitrate" at me, and I'm lost.

Anyway, there are new Bones sides out which show Booth and Brennan solving a case that involves ice and skating and maybe hockey.

And you know what that means...

Skating lessons!

The last scene in the episode is Booth and Brennan on the ice late at night, arms linked. Brennan is not a good skater; Booth, a fan of le hockey, obviously is a good skater.

Same thing that happens to everyone.

Jim and Pam, circa "Michael's Birthday." Everyone heads to the ice rink, Jim helps Pam get her footing on the ice. I squee.

Luke and Lorelai, circa "Women of Questionable Morals." Lorelai's having issues with the snow, so to cheer her up, Luke builds an ice rink in her front yard and brings skates. He stays on solid snowy ground, but he does watch with amusement as she enjoys her gift.



Sydney and Vaughn, circa "A Dark Turn," "Second Double," and "Nocturne." Vaughn's an avid hockey player, and once they get together, he brings her along for practice. Though Syd's a natural on the ice (what is Sydney Bristow *not* good at?), Vaughn teaches her how to play. Very sweet.



And now Booth and Brennan. I guess it was really only a matter of time before these two took to the ice. I think skating has perhaps a very childlike, innocent connotation--wintry magic combined with the need to gather support from your OTPartner. It also gives just-friends/partners the opportunity to touch. In these sides, it says "they intertwine arms."

Also, these are the sides for episode thirteen. When in the world are we going to get the Booth/Brennan relationship development that's been hinted at so hard it hurts? At this point, I go into every episode thinking it's going to be the week where they finally hook up. And then you know what? They never do. So maybe this is the episode that pushes them across the line. Up all night (Mae says Booth must have a concussion), ice rink lit only by a disco ball, music playing--if that's not romantic, I don't know what is.

Tell you what--this is making me yearn for winter. Bring on the holiday season and some skating love for the agents!

Friday, October 10, 2008

House: Anxious-Scared? Or Anxious-Excited?

I was planning to post about this before I even got home today and found out that even more things have taken place. For those of you who don't give three shits about my House obsession and are tired of hearing me talk about it -- I'd leave now. Just sayin', fair warning.

As everyone knows, Chase & Cameron finally got promo-love again on Tuesday night. That was relatively jarring to see, honestly, because every week for the past year and 3 episodes I've been hoping to spot them in a promo again. And it never happens. Ever. I got a thrill, because I personally think receiving promo-love again actually means they'll be in the episode for more than just 45.7 seconds this time. And it was kind of adorable because they both looked so ratty and busted and in serious need of a hair salon.

I get home about 30 minutes ago and check what Dark has to say, because I've grown to always depend on him the most for any info on any show at all. And there's a new promo for next week. And they're both in it again. And it's not the same shots from the first promo. This excites me. Except that I am slightly worried by the look on her face, especially seeing as it is obviously aimed at her adorably sleepy boyfriend. But then the mild feeling of worry dissipates and is replaced by excited squee because I think it's pretty cute that he's laid himself out for a rest on one of the empty beds in a wide-open curtain area in his beloved's noisy ER pit. Hee. And, aw.

They could be bickering, sure. I fully expect some warning signs of "trouble ahead" to start reeling their ugly little heads in this episode and the next, seeing as I'm betting good money that Episode 6 (their [finally!] centric hour) is going to be chock-full of the angst. So, her mopey little frown in his direction could easily be over something personal and problematic between them; I think it's more likely not, though. At least not in that particular moment. If you ask me, the girl just looks downright busted with exhaustion - and, clearly, Chase is worn out, too. We know House is going to be away from the hospital, and thus away from the patient and his team, so I'm willing to bet (again) that Chase and Cameron get sucked into helping the newbies & Foreman diagnose/save that PoTW. They've probably both already been working/on-call for way too long, and now they can't go home and get any peace because they're being held hostage by guilt-trips and pathetic pleas from the newbies.

Not to mention, I'm sure Cameron is overly-worried about not only the PoTW but, more importantly, House and what he's up to on this road trip/the emotions behind it all. If there is any kind of TV god at all, she's even concerned about Chase - as I would think he'd be trying to spout off total bullshit about how House is fine and it's a personal decision whether or not people want to attend a funeral; he skipped his father's, too, and it didn't affect him any, he'd say. She'd know better and get a face full of concern just like that one in the promo screencap. But, ya know, I highly doubt that's the case because I really highly doubt the writers will bother to bring up Chase's dad and maintain a sense of continuity. That would be the right thing to do, and clearly that doesn't actually matter much to them these days.

Whatever the case with the sad and busted looks of disarray, I don't actually expect any real drama out of Chase and Cameron next week - underlying tension and tiny red flags of rough waters ahead, though, for sure. I still think I'm going to completely love it. It's Episode 6 that I'm twisted up in a ball of confused emotion about; you know how sometimes you get a spoiler about an upcoming episode/story arc for your 'ship and all you can think is, this is either going to win at life, or it's going to absolutely destroy my couple - you know that feeling? Yeah. That's where I am with Episode 6 (and the subsequent arc that shall follow) at this point.

I wish we had a title for it already. I wish the blasted official episode description would get released already. I wish we knew absolutely anything about it other than just, "It's Cameron/Chase-centric with a window into where their relationship is right now, and House/Cuddy are going to kiss." Oh, and if Jesse Spencer is to be believed (which is always debatable), Cameron will be forced to examine her relationship with Chase and finally decide what it is that she actually wants in life and love.

Angst. Yes - good. Unless, of course, it's all just going to end in tears.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Lost: The Oceanic Six, More Lostaways, and the Possibility of International A-Missions

Kristin has some new quotes that put some Lost spoiler pieces together.

Well, remember what Michael Emerson recently said about Ben's statement that if any of them are to return to the Island, everyone who escaped has to go back too? He said, "I think [that dictate is] a scientific condition of the mechanism by which the Island operates. I don't think it's an esoteric or spiritual issue, I think it's science."

He wasn't just talking pretty. What I'm hearing is that the reason Jack, Kate, Sayid, Sun and Hurley need to reunite is because the Oceanic Six need to fan out to a group of Dharma stations.

Even more intriguing? According to my source, these stations are not on the Island, but in other locations, and these off-Island stations are believed to be the ticket to getting back to the Island.

It's an old trick.

Derek and Meredith have to inject virus into patient's brain at the same velocity at the same time. Hell, remember when Sawyer, Shannon, and Sayid had to set off the bottle rockets at the same time to coordinate signal triangulation in season one?

There's just a couple of problems.

The most obvious is that unless one of these stations happens to be in California, Kate's kind of screwed. Because we think she'd probably be okay skipping out on her parole if it was to go back to the island forever, but it seems a little risky for her to be jaunting off with Jack on international A-Missions.

(Yeah, see what I did there?)

We've seen filming reports from Dark, and it seems like the first few episodes are all about rounding up the Oceanic Six. I'm really intrigued by this prospect, and it means that Jack and Ben are in the process of...

(A) Finding Hurley and Sayid;
(B) Convincing Sun she wants to go back--we heard something about Jin's wedding ring perhaps being involved;
(C) Convincing Kate that Claire was just kidding when she said "Don't you dare bring him back"; and
(D) Figuring out how to most easily transport Locke. (A DarkUFO commenter noted that in addition to "Reincarnation," the name on Ben's van "Canton Rainier" also anagrams to "An Incinerator.")

Now, could you do that stoned on your pills? 'Cause I couldn't, that's for sure.

So we're left with more questions.

How many stations are there and where are they? Some folks at DarkUFO are saying they might correspond to places with high levels of electromagnetism--like Isaac of Uluru's compound. Bonnie and Greta were "on assignment" in Canada; could that have been DHARMA-related? I personally like the idea of Jack and Kate having to head to Australia--though there's nothing to suggest that they would go together (logically, they wouldn't), I would really appreciate if they got to the island again by way of Australia and then could be totally justified in naming their daughter Sydney. (Jacks should have Sydneys, no?)

Tell me straight--who has to go back? So...the Oceanic Six. Locke. That much we understand. What about Ben? Will he be allowed to go back now? What about Desmond? (Seems that way, since we're seeing him hanging around with Jack & Co.) What about Walt? What about Frank?

As usual, these spoilers have just created more questions. But at least it gives us something to do!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Grey's Anatomy: A Little Pre-Show Analysis

The Grey's contingent over here made some predictions.

I asked Mae and Leigh their thoughts on a few topics of interest in regard to tomorrow's Grey's. Here are the results of my ridiculously unscientific poll. (Unscientific because I demanded that Mae answer--I refused to let her get away with "I kind of don't want Derek to succeed at kicking them out, but then at the same time I obviously do.")



Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Lost and Pushing Daisies: Is Aunt Lily Jacob?



Here's a fun little game--what would these "siblings" think about each other?

One's been reanimated, and the other, well, might need to be at some point. Jack, find Ned--and then get far, far away!

Okay, sorry for that silliness.

The Office: The Fandom and the Flax

So we've always known that Holly wasn't sticking around. Amy Ryan's contract was limited to a few episodes, and as she's a pretty up-and-coming actress, no one expected her to hang around The Office. (That said, Steve Carell isn't exactly begging for food or attention, so it's not like this show is a bad place to be, even if you are relatively famous and busy.)

Anyway, we knew her time was limited, but I'm not sure any of us expected to fall so insanely in love with Holly P. Flax!

She has added so much to the show and to Michael's character. Yes, he still drives me insane, but when I was getting ridiculously bored of his annoying antics, Holly made him lovable again. I want him to get the girl and live happily ever after. Y'all, Michael/Holly is, like, my new OTP.

But we can't have everything.

"Employee Transfer" is the title of an upcoming episode, and it's not much of a secret who's the transferrer.

Sounds like it's a corporate decision to relocate Ms. Flax, and everyone--or at least me, Michael, and Holly--are feeling kind of sad about it. No word yet on whether Michael and Holly will pursue a long-distance relationship or how this is going to affect Michael's relationship with Jan and the baby.

It's probably going to make Michael insufferable again.

Because even though the prospect of Michael As A Dad is jaw-droppingly delicious in terms of comedy, it's obviously going to be tempered by freaking Jan, who's crazy and mean. And who makes Michael painful to watch. Ugh.

I will say, however, that I feel like Holly will end up with Michael. The writers created her as basically Michael's soul mate, and that doesn't come around very often. Whether she eventually joins the cast (at least on a recurring basis), pulls a Clooney and shows up in the series finale to kiss Michael on a pier, or is merely mentioned in passing at the end, a la Robert Downey, Jr. in the last episode of Ally McBeal, I'm confident that this is the girl for Michael. It's kind of no question.

Right?

Monday, October 6, 2008

Grey's Anatomy: Big Catastrophes, Minor Inconveniences, Promo Monkery, and Basic Shark-Jumping



Is anybody else concerned about the potential shark-jumpage of this episode?

I was disappointed by the premiere, but I’m letting it go. I’m blaming it on the fact that it was two hours. My attention span just isn’t that long. (But Caroline, you watched all three hours of “There’s No Place Like Home” and didn’t complain once!)

I’m ready to get back into Grey’s, but this episode has me on edge. A big flood at the hospital? Seriously?

It’s not that Grey’s hasn’t pulled off BIG CATASTROPHE episodes before. The problem is that they have. The commercial made this flood seem like a big catastrophe—Water on the patient! Wading through the hallways!—when it actually seems like a pretty boring day when compared to Bomb in a Body Cavity ca. season two or Ferry Boat Disaster ca. season three. That promo has BIG CATASTROPHE while the plot pretty much insinuates MINOR INCONVENIENCE.

And seriously—it’s episode two. God, I hope we don’t need to be getting into big catastrophes yet. It’s not even sweeps.

Although I’m going to give Grey’s the benefit of the doubt, it’s sort of seeming like Ms. Rhimes is off her game a little. She’s certainly not making any fandom friends lately, what with her comments in USA Today: “‘For good’ doesn't necessarily go past this season, Rhimes says. ‘But they're definitely together for good for now. I'm with them. They believe they are together for good. I believe they are together for good.’”

What the hell does “for good for now” mean? That’s a blatant oxymoron, and while I’m writing it off as Shonda playing little mind games, if Derek and Meredith break up again between now and the series finale, I’m out.

Done.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Agency Procedurals and Outside Help: Civilian Consultants Make the World Go 'Round

Last week on Fringe, Olivia coined a new phrase for an old institution: civilian consultant.

Upon receiving increased access to the Federal Building (and Olivia herself), Peter got himself that new title.

And I started thinking about how, when you think about it, the FBI, the CIA, and apparently the Department of Homeland Security are totally helpless without the aid of outsiders.

On literally every show I've watched about government agents, civilians have to be brought in to save the day. While I'm sure it's not altogether unrealistic, it's making the agencies look kind of weak.

Because, seriously, what would Bones's FBI do without, well, Bones?

As a civilian consultant to Booth, Dr. Brennan (and the rest of the squints) provides extraordinarily valuable forensic evidence for the Bureau's most grody crimes.

And where would The X-Files (in the late seasons and in that terrible movie) be without Mulder and, later, Scully?

Because when she was all pregnant and helpless, that dude was the only one who knew anything. And in I Want to Believe, neither of them worked for the government in any capacity. One of the federal agents was practically incompetent, and the other one got killed on the job. It took two civilian consultants to "save the day."

And apparently the CIA under Director Dixon was quite dependent upon its civilian consultants, Agents Bristow and Vaughn. After retiring to the Lost island with Jack, Kate, Scully, and Mulder (no, seriously, what is it with these people and freakin' deserted island beaches?), Sydney and Vaughn continue to moonlight as superspies every once in a while. And from the sounds of it, they're pretty much the CIA's only hope.

Isn't this the premise of Chuck, too?

Which brings us back to Peter and Olivia--the newest agent/civilian team. They've begun to charm me, little by little, and while I'm still not sold on them as a relationship, I'm definitely enjoying them as a partnership and as individuals. It's not your typical man of science/man of faith dynamic. Because neither quite understands the science, and neither has unbreakable faith in anything, really. Their dichotomy is much more complicated, rooted in dark pasts (neither of which we've even brushed the surface of yet) and strange neuroses. I'm decidedly intrigued.

So thank you, Olivia Dunham, for giving a name to something I've long been trying to find a word for. And thank you, civilian consultants, for making the United States government function properly. Sort of.

The Office: Halfsies Spoilers from Kristin--Which Are Legit?

Kristin's got a new "game" over at her site--apparently, six of the following twelve scenarios are real. Which ones do you think are legit?

Office Spoilers and Foilers Game
1. Pam cheats on Jim
2. Dwight births a watermelon
3. Angela and Andy make sweet, sweet love
4. Dunder Mifflin gets robbed
5. Jim gets in an accident on the way to see Pam in New York
6. Dwight bids on Phyllis in an auction
7. Phyllis blackmails Angela
8. Creed leaves Scranton to join a rock band
9. Andy has no man parts
10. Kevin could be the father of Jan’s baby
11. Michael names Jan's baby "Ass-turd"
12. Ryan and Kelly get engaged

Here's what I say.

1. Pam cheats on Jim. No way. Moving on.

2. Dwight births a watermelon. I can definitely see this happening at Jan's baby shower. I'm saying this one's true.

3. Angela and Andy make sweet, sweet love. I think this is true. Ausiello said there's a sitch coming up where Andy goes to Angela's, leaves, and then Dwight shows up. Obviously we're not going to see inside Angela's apartment. We'll just see a camera crew in a car staking out. We'll get the idea that Angela has sex with both of them in the same evening. Little whorish, Ms. Martin.

4. Dunder-Mifflin gets robbed. Yeah. We heard this is happening--it's true.

5. Jim gets in an accident on the way to see Pam in New York. I'll say this is true, mostly by process of elimination. We've heard there's some tension coming up between these two, and car accidents always create angst--hello, Derek and Meredith much?

6. Dwight bids on Phyllis in an auction. False? Process of elimination.

7. Phyllis blackmails Angela. Um, I sure hope so. Let's say this one's true.

8. Creed leaves Scranton to join a rock band. Haven't heard rumors of anyone leaving, so we'll say this one's not true.

9. Andy has no man parts. Uhh, what? False.

10. Kevin could be the father of Jan's baby. BRILLIANT. You know Kevin would so donate sperm. This one's gotta be true.

11. Michael names Jan's baby "Ass-turd." I have a feeling once the baby is born, Michael's going to be way too besotted with it to do something like that.

12. Ryan and Kelly get engaged. This would be hilarious, but I'm saying this is false. That's an awful lot of engaged people for one season, no?

What are your thoughts?

Friday, October 3, 2008

The West Wing: The Times Brings Back Bartlet

I don't want to belabor--or even really get into--politics on this blog, but I do think there's one relevant point that's come out of the election news cycle in the last week or so. If you haven't seen it already, New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd contracted out last week's column to her ex, writer genius Aaron Sorkin.

In it, Sorkin writes a dialogue between Barack Obama and Jed Bartlet. It's witty and topical and kind of on-the-nose about the ideological problems Obama's been facing, but told from that Bartlet perspective that's as heartwarming and awe-inspiring as it is condescending.

And there's a good, old-fashioned Bartlet monologue, after which "Obama" quips, "Well, it’s not as if I didn’t know all of that and it took you like 20 minutes to say."

I don't want to spoil it for you, but the end is so classically Bartlet, I got the warm fuzzies. Comedy Central called this "Obama fan fiction," but I have to say, from the fandom perspective, it's almost part of the West Wing canon. Although obviously Barack Obama doesn't exist in the West Wing universe. Regardless, it was nice to spend a page or two with a man I wish was real--oh, how many of those there are.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Bones: Don't Come A-Knockin'?

Spoilers for Bones.

Several new sides (about 33 pages worth) for Bones are out, and they have Mae and I all confused. They came in two batches--and I wouldn't be surprised to see more in the next couple days. When the second batch came out, there had been rewrites, so it's kind of hard to tell what follows what, but I think I did an okay job sorting through and putting them in a fairly decent chronological order. Click here for the amalgamated sides for "Double Trouble in the Panhandle."

In this episode, Booth and Brennan are undercover as carnies to solve the murder of conjoined twins.

Yep.

In some ways, this episode looks unfathomably ridiculous. Booth and Bones are, respectively, a knife-thrower and his assistant. And they have to perform their little "act" to maintain their cover. And they're married--Buck and Wanda Moosejaw.

Also, they seem to want to delve into the ethics of separating conjoined twins, while also creating this really odd and politically incorrect scenario in which these girls were part of a circus act.

While I'm thinking about it, how come Brennan is an expert on everything? Yeah, I know, she's really smart, but why does the show perceive her intelligence as encompassing everything from forensic anthropology to whether or not conjoined twins can medically be separated? How is that something she would know and be able to make an actual argument for or against?

There are other ways in which this episode looks kind of freaking awesome. Uh, did you catch that part about Booth and Brennan undercover as marrieds? And he literally at one point throws knives at her. Of course, it makes Booth really freaking nervous and Brennan, you know, just thinks it's great. She actually encourages it.

There's mutual admiration of each other when they first see each other in costume. There's actually a stage direction that says "Booth keeps stealing glances to Brennan amazed." There's cute dialogue like, "Where is the Buck Moosejaw I married?" And he calls her beautiful.

And then...

EXT. BUCK & WANDA'S TRAILER - DAY

The mobile home is rocking back and forth on its springs, SQUEAKING. Henry and Dorrie stand back, arms crossed, watching--

DORRIE LAVALLE
Whaddaya think?

HENRY SIMON
Let's hope they're as good outside the trailer as they are in.

DORRIE LAVALLE
I give 'em good marks for staying power.

Henry Simon and Dorrie Lavalle walk away. The trailer keeps rocking.

FADE OUT.

END ACT TWO.

When I first talked to Mae about this earlier, I said, "Probably just some knife-throwing practice."

And then we kind of analyzed it some more, and it seemed...I don't know. Yes, it's probably knife-throwing practice, but...

(1) How do you practice knife-throwing inside?

(2) Sweets, via phone, right before we cut to this trailer rocking scene tells Booth and Brennan to "act like you're more interested in each other than any of them." And then the stage direction is "They hang up. They look at each other and shrug." And then we CUT RIGHT TO THE TRAILER ROCKING.

(3) Normally, if they were going to do one of these cutesy things, you'd slam right from Booth and Brennan's trailer rocking to a hilarious reveal that they're actually inside practicing their knife-wielding skills. But the act just ends. After we see the trailer rocking, we cut to commercial. (And we have the page that starts the next act, and it doesn't reveal knife practice or any other non-sexual excuse for trailer rocking.)

If it's just knife practice, they're giving us an awfully long time to think it's something else.

Mae was concerned, of course, that this would be Booth and Brennan's first time having sex, and it would all happen offscreen, only hinted at--"very Mulder/Scully," she says.

But what if, I said, they've already crossed the line by this point? It's entirely possible that Booth and Brennan hook up in a previous episode and these are just the first pages we've seen that give that away.

What if they are actually having sex in that trailer?

Eh, I'm sticking with knife practice.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

House: Gasp! A Non-Chameron Update!

SPOILERS FOR HOUSE


But it's not just spoilers. It's information that may induce vomitting or rage blackouts.

I just... I saw this last night and I couldn't even form a coherent thought. Now I've thought about it sporadically all day at work and I'm concerned the only coherent thoughts I can manage are thoughts of...things that are sinful, illegal and would likely land me in prison for the rest of my life.

Question: How about some non-Huddy House scoop for a change? -- Dani
Ausiello: Could I interest you in something on Thoreman? Never heard of that particular portmanteau? That's about to change, since executive producer Katie Jacobs tells me that a major, potentially romantic story line involving Foreman and Thirteen will kick off in November when Olivia Wilde's ailing alter ego agrees to participate in a clinical trial overseen by Omar Epps' Foreman. As a result, the pair "are going to be spending a serious amount of time together," reveals Jacobs. Thirteen's leap of faith will follow a tumultuous few episodes in which she has a random hookup with an unidentified lovergirl (see last week's AA for more on that) and witnesses firsthand the horrors of Huntington's via a patient played by Lori Petty (A League of Their Own). "I don't want to see Thirteen come down with Huntington's," confesses Jacobs, "but I think it's important for the audience to see what she's up against in dealing with [the disease]."


Yeah. I believe the phrase you're looking for is, "Well, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic."

I can't even... I keep re-reading it with one eyebrow raised and an inability to fathom why David Shore and Katie Jacobs think any of that is a good idea.

I have always hated Foreman. He is arrogant and boring and horrible. And, despite hoping I wouldn't, I officially hate Thirteen. And it's not even about her, it's simply that forcing her on me with more screentime than any other character (House included) has resulted in total overload and a lot of usage of my fast-forward button on the DVR. I hate her. The idea of a Foreman/Thirteen romance is enough to make me consider tuning out completely.

But I'll probably keep recording it and fast-forwarding, wishing and hoping for anything at all that involves House, Cuddy, Wilson, Chase and/or Cameron without sharing the scene with For/teen.

I'll just, ya know, go bash my head against the wall repeatedly.

Alias: It Stopped October 1st.




HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!


To think that seven years ago today, the world of Alias was introduced to us all for the first time. Wow.

Well, technically it wasn't introduced to me until, let's say, four years ago. Because I have a tendency to catch on to really great shows really, really late in the game.

Sydney and Vaughn were (and probably still are) the epitome of your eternally fluffy and oft-tortured OTP. Whereas Jack and Kate keep us waiting year after year, teasing in tiny bits, Syd and Vaughn were solid only a year and a half into it. And, really, it wasn't like we were all sitting around desperately hoping for them to realize they were in love with one another - the above scene kind of cleared that up for us quite well. It was always so nice to have an OTP that you just knew without a doubt would end up together - even if they did go and fake-kill the boy toy. Angst was never anything other than enjoyable, because it was an inevitability that the angst-initiator (read: Whoren) would disappear and they would reunite to have lots of sex and babies.

Which, ya know, they did. Squee!

I just wanted to take a moment to bask in how awesome these two were and how incredible it was to have a 'ship that went the distance - all the way into an epilogue six years down the line. And, personally, I never questioned their endgame status for a single second.

That kind of blind faith and total certainty in a 'ship is sorely missing from fandom these days.

I miss you, Alias! Thanks for all those years of fluff and squee!