Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Gossip Girl: No. Happy. Couples. EVER.

It’s been two days and I still don’t know whether I loved or hated Monday night’s Gossip Girl. Like last season’s finale, there was a ton of angst and drama and twisty-ness. And also like that finale, things were looking good for every couple on the show… before it all crashed and burned by the end of the hour.

I get the dilemma of the Humphrey/Van der Woodsen quadrangle. It would be creepy to pair up both children and parents and then your boyfriend is also your stepbrother. And if I had to choose only one ‘ship – Rufus/Lily or Dan/Serena – well, that would be an impossible choice to make. Of course, this episode crushed all of our dreams, so right now nobody wins.

They’ve left a tiny bit up in the air, but let’s assume that Lily had Rufus’ baby and gave it up for adoption. I’m not thrilled with GG going this route three months after the new 90210 did it. We don’t need a little Rufus or Lily showing up during sweeps and being all sweet to its new parents and half-siblings, only to be revealed to have sinister motives. While I have no doubt that GG would do that story a thousand times better, we’ve still been there and done that. At least, those of us who spend too much time on the CW have.

P.S. A tip for you, Lily and Rufus. Stop making plans to meet up with each other and run off for a weekend away. Something will always happen and you will never make it out of the city. The only time you two managed to hook up? It was spontaneous and in New York. That’s the only way it’s going to work.

And then there’s Dan/Serena/Aaron. S & D are totally still in love and they both know it. Aaron is gross and they both sort of know that, too. I would hope that Serena lands in Buenos Aires with an inbox full of text messages like “It’s okay! My dad hates your mom! We can be together again!” But we’ll see.

Unfortunately, Aaron’s now a legitimate part of the show, as Blair’s stepbrother. Go back to RISD, Aaron, please! Or make yourself over in the vein of the book version of Aaron Rose, at least. If you’re going to continue to be on the show in any capacity, take pity on the audience and shave your horrible little facial hair.

Last but not least, Chuck and Blair. Chuck was pretty damn brutal this week, to everyone. And, okay, he’s entitled to some of it in his grief. But what did Eric ever do to you, buddy? I’m not a hardcore Blair/Chuck fangirl, but they’re definitely hot when they’re together and entertaining when they’re not. But I’m sick of being jerked around when it comes to them. They’ve gotten almost-but-not-quite together about a dozen times already this season and it’s only been thirteen episodes. Blair was right – she’d have to be a masochist to put up with any more of this. Man up, Chuck. Do your little suicidal rooftop dance in the next episode, have a nice breakdown, then grow up and get with Blair for real.

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