In light of how being spoiled for The Yanks in the U.K. kind of destroyed the Bones experience for us girls, some of us are trying to abstain from spoilers. This girl is not one of them. I could try, but who am I kidding?
Spoilers for Episode 410.
So Booth's brother, Jared, is in town.
At first glance, yay! It's always good when family shows up--this is one of my all-time favorite anvils, right after babysitting and quarantines.
I love that when Booth introduces Jared to "my partner, Dr. Temperance Brennan," Jared reacts with "Bones!" (Obviously implying that Booth talks about Brennan around his family. That's delightful.) Jared also gives some insight into Booth's character, his tendency to "stay in his comfort zone" and not take risks.
But after reading his casting sides, I'm highly concerned.
Because Jared's putting the moves on Brennan!
And she's allowing it!
Hands to self!
Brennan: "Your facial structure is even more symmetrical and pleasing than Booth's."
What? My entire theory of Brennan reasoning her way into marriage and babies is that, once she decides she wants those things, she should--anthropologically speaking--want them with Booth because she holds his paternal skills, his protection instinct, and, yes, his bodily features, in the highest regard. You can't let her say that about Jared! It destroys my theory!
That's not even the worst of it.
Jared is supposed to take Cam to some fancy schmancy White House event, but ends up--for some as-yet-unknown reason--taking Brennan instead. And he sweet-talks her and calls her beautiful and then...he kisses her.
Now, this is all framed in the context of Seeley Booth. He's talking about how Booth doesn't take risks, Brennan asks for an example, and that's when Jared plants one on her. "I bet Seeley never took that risk," he says.
That's still not the worst of it.
What's really bad are the accompanying stage directions, in which Brennan...? She laughs at this comment, then clinks glasses with Jared and drinks.
I mean, what the hell?
I'm so uncomfortable.
Were this more traditional scene language, we'd expect to see Brennan kind of smile, but in a sad way. Something like, "Off on Brennan, who knows better than anyone the risks her partner hasn't taken."
In another casting side, the direction specifies that, later in the episode, there is an "unspoken mess" between Booth and Brennan. I would assume this has something to do with Brennan getting involved with Jared.
Oh, wait. That's still not the worst part.
The worst part is that Jared isn't just, like, visiting Booth while he's on leave from the Navy. Jared just took a job. At the Pentagon. A mere 3.2 miles from the Jeffersonian. (A very nice 7 minute drive, according to Google Maps. Goes right by the Jefferson Memorial.) Should we expect him to stick around?
Even scarier, should we expect him to start an actual thing with Brennan?
Hopefully, nothing will happen save for an innocent kiss. There will be no taking-home of the Booth brother, and all of this will just serve as another delightful anvil upon the heads of Booth and Brennan. You know, Booth gets irritated that Brennan obviously likes Jared better than him; Brennan has to tell him that Booth is a much better man than his brother, and that she in fact vastly prefers the elder Booth.
Because seriously. Who wouldn't?
I still can't help being extraordinarily uncomfortable with this situation.