Friday, April 13, 2007

Lost: Please Stop Squishing the Jabies

On July 22, 2003, I updated my LiveJournal with the news that I was officially quitting ER. I went totally cold turkey. Stopped talking about it, stopped hanging out with my ER friends (including Mae), stopped watching the show completely. Since that day, I think I have seen a total of maybe five new episodes. And every time, I’ve ended the hour feeling like a fool.

J.J. Abrams and I are now at that same crossroads.

Much as I am loath to say, Lost has these last five episodes to keep me as a viewer, and then I’m done. I’ve said before how I felt like I was promised Jate in the Pilot, and almost three seasons later, nobody has come through for me on that one.

The promo that aired after the last episode really pissed me off.

Because if there’s one thing that just absolutely kills me, more than any other element of modern television, it’s backwards-moving storylines.

Yeah, I was broken up about the cage sex. But it seemed like Kate regretted that choice, as evidenced by her bitching at Sawyer on the trip back, and her sincere double-meaning apology to Jack at the Barracks. She seems to be seeing Jack in a more romantic light as of late, and seems to be showing him just how much she cares for him.

And he, being the cold douchebag that he is lately, pushes her away. Not because he doesn’t want her or love her, but because he’s stubborn and jealous.

I have no patience for this whatsoever.

The promo shows Sawyer and Kate having more jungle sex, and Evangeline Lilly told Kristin Veitch that her tent had been expanded to fit two.

I seriously don’t know what to say, other than that I am extremely dismayed. What was the point of Kate going back for Jack if she was just going to get back with Sawyer? What was the point of the Jack/Kate hand-holding that literally melted my insides?

Kate’s moving backward! She spent the last eight episodes growing more than we had ever seen her grow before. She exhibited bravery, loyalty, compassion, and what I thought was a deep affection for Jack and a respect for the relationship they had together. And now, she’s throwing that all away, probably because she senses Jack and Juliet getting closer.

I hate this choice, Jabrams. And you will pay for it with my loyalty.

And the thing that makes me even angrier is that they can’t even say now that Jacket is a legitimate option. Jack and Juliet isn’t ever going to work now because she’s betraying him! Jack’s pretty serious about loyalty, and I know he’s not going to be happy when, next week, he finds out that Juliet’s been playing him this whole time. By revealing that Juliet is still in cahoots with the Others, J.J. and the team basically made Jacket into another plot device to keep Jack and Kate apart.

That said, I’m delighted that Juliet is double-crossing the Lostaways. In my Love-to-Hate blog, I said, “The problem is...besides being interested in/involved with half of [my] OTP, [this woman hasn’t] really done anything wrong.... Juliet hasn’t done anything at all. She brought Jack sandwiches. I want my lovey to be fed! I still hate her.”

I now feel justified in my hatred, so thanks for that.

It’s one of those things, similar to what’s going on over at The Office right now, that if they would both just realize that they could have each other, they would. But instead they have to play up the triangle for as long as humanly possible.

Immediately after the most recent episode, in which we learned that women don’t survive island pregnancies, I was planning on titling this blog “That’s Okay, I Can Wait For Jabies,” but I can’t. I want Jabies for Christmas. I want Jate to happen right now. It’s been three seasons, and I’m tired of waiting. And I’m not going to do it anymore.

Yes, I know there’s a lot more to Lost than Jate. It’s probably the most intriguing show plot-wise that I’ve ever watched. But I am so invested in the Jack/Kate relationship that to continue watching now would just be self-destructive. (Wednesday night, I literally had to lie in bed and try to name as many Sports Night episodes as I could just to get my mind off this whole Lost debacle. I really need a boyfriend.)

The only way to keep me satisfied is to give me some more Jate development by the season finale. Seems like from what I’ve been hearing that there’s going to be a battle between the Others and the Lostaways—this will probably happen when Ben and Juliet reconnect in a week. Juliet’s true colors will be revealed when she fights on the side of the Others, and Jack will be revealed as the too-trusting idiot that he is. (My roommate Melissa and I call this “Sydney Bristow Syndrome.”) It’ll be his turn to apologize to Kate for, you know, causing a siege, and they can start rebuilding from there. Maybe Sawyer witnesses their tearful apologies, and realizes once and for all that he ain’t never going to be able to make it with Kate.

Yeah, this theory makes Kate a terrible tease, but I don’t really see any other options at this point. And when my choices are Sawyer getting cockblocked and me not watching Lost anymore, I’ll go with the first choice every time.

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